Teringat Kisah Lampau - Masa Kena Buat Induksi

Best jugak ada blog ni. Time time bosan macam ni boleh baca old entries. Kadang kadang tu aku ketawa sorang sorang bila baca balik, kadang kadang tak sabar sabar nak suruh Don baca

Alia: SAYANG COME HERE READ THISSS *sambil ketawa*
Don: What. It's not like I can understand.....
Alia: AHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SOO FUNNY I AM SOO FUNNY
Don: 😑

hahaha stress mamat tu aku paksa dia baca.

Anyway, I was reading my posts written about my TM induction camp kat Terengganu. I think it was 3 weeks. Macam taik kena pergi induction before report for duty.

I had a miserable time there. It's just the whole premise is stupid. I don't mind training for a job, but to put us away in a dormitory with scheduled meal times, being treated like children, for 3 weeks was NOT cool.

So before I delve into why I think that's such a BAD idea, let me tell you that I honestly do not remember being specifically told that we were going away for 3 weeks.

Maybe my memory is fading, but I couldn't remember the guy (whom I'm assumign the HR guy) telling us to pack our bags for 3 weeks because we were going to another state. All he said was "you're going to have a work trip" then started smirking.

I'm pretty sure the reason why people knew it was coming, because TM induction is apparently well-known? Like you are EXPECTED to spend weeks in a college campus before reporting for duty and this is something that everybody knew.

So on the day of departure, I obviously only had the clothes that I was wearing. I didn't bring any luggage at all! Because I thought we were just going for a day trip or a training at our training center!

babi tau. tak de spender, tak de berus gigi, tak de shampoo, tak de baju seluar bra. semua la tak de.

Terpaksa call mak and mak la yang tolong pack kan. Nasib baik mak memang terrer bab bab packing ni. Laju je dia packed, so she got to Menara rebung on time.

I asked the guy kalau tak sempat naik bas macam mana? because I had to wait for my luggage kan. He just said "kalau tak sempat ---- I dunno. You kena buat your own arrangement to get to Terenggau yourself lah"

taik.

Oklah - I admit, it was MY fault for not clarifying it from the beginning. I should have asked them what does the "work trip" entail.

But I'm also partly blaming the organizer/HR for not being clear on what they expect us to do and their intent.

Ok now back to the induction camp itself.

Like I said before - we were treated like school kids. I mean yeah sure some of us maybe just graduated from colleges, but that doesn't mean they are kids?? We were adults and entering the professional world. And to be treated like children certainly defeats the meaning of "professional adults"!!

I was not as vocal as I am today. Thinking back, if I were to travel back in time, I'd have probably told them to start seeing us as adults. I mean you have to remember, the participants were Executives and non Executives. We were definitely not some college kids doing our industrial training or whatever.

I'd have probably lose my job there too HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tak masuk kerja lagi dah kena fired
Hahah

I also HATED that we had to stay in campus. It was the condition of the hostel itself - it was disgusting!! The rooms were dark and gloomy, the shared bathroom was urghhhhhh disgusting. I feel sorry for college kids that had to endure that.

Macam mana aku survived during my college years pun I dunno. hahahaha
Geli geleman aku nak tido dlm hostel.

I also don't know if I can handle having a roommate anymore. My roommate right now is my own husband, so kalau nak naked in front of him ke apa, it's not a big deal la kan hahaha. Tapi kalau ada someone else as your roommate, ehhhh susahnya. Kekok.

And now kalau pergi outstation ke apa, I'd have my own hotel room. Tak perlu kongsi bilik hotel.

Ohh the fanciest hotel room I've been was probably the hotel in India. 3 minggu beb duduk dlm hotel tu. It was a big room, toilet dia was to die for, ada balcony tapi you wouldn't want to open your balcony door. HAHAHAH.

Asap and honks every second. Pening kepala aku. My housekeeper pun bagus, dia asyik buat animal towels. So aku pun bagi la tips - ada dlm $1 - $3 je sehari. So all in all, I gave her/him dlm $40 kot. Untung kauu

Sebelah hotel ada mall - i think it's one of their fancy malls la kot sebab banyak medium to high end stores. Nak masuk mall kena security check point dulu. Oh nak mausk hotel pun kena security check point.

Eh.
Macma biasa, aku suka off on a tangent. Kejap topic A, kejap topic B, tiba tiba selit topic F.
hahahahaha

What Is This

Ada satu hari tu, I was on my computer, Don tiba tiba sapa aku dari belakang and asked me to stand up.

He pulled out a measurement tape and started to measure my waist and my hips. 

Aku ni mcm "wtf are you doing??"

Dia senyap je.

Lepas habis ukur He got back to his computer. 

Amende laki aku ni. Tetiba datang ukur pinggang aku kan. 

I did ask him what is he doing, but he wouldn't tell me. "It's a secret" bak katanya. 😂

Lantak la. 

So 2 days ago, ada package Amazon. Don dengan excitednya suruh aku unbox. 

Kau nak tau apa dia beli?? 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

An extremely short shorts uols 🤣🤣

Then kat bontot tu memang purposely ada kedut kedut supaya nampak shape bontot 😂

Bila aku try, guysssss, memang sebijik shape bontot 🤣 It's also very short, sampai rasa mcm pakai seluar dalam je. In fact, seluar dalam aku pun lagi panjang dari seluar ni 😂😂

Aku tanya la dia where the hell does it expect me to wear this. He said "you can do yoga in it. In front of me"

I was like 😑😑😑😑 

Then went on rambling how he wasted money on this blah blah blah. 

Urghh. Rugi $15. 

Anyway, ok la. Update soon. Nak buat yoga. 

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Ada Lagi Ke Orang Guna Blogger?

Ok ni first time aku update blogger guna phone app. I'm hoping it will be easier to upload pictures directly from my phone terus ke blog. 

ha!

Omg senang nak mati 😱😱

THIS IS INCREDIBLE. AKU TAK PAYAH NAK MEMBAZIR MASA TO UPLOAD GAMBAR!

Anyway, yaaaaazzzzaaaa. It was our 6th anniversary yesterday uols! 

Ive been married for 6years, rasa macam baru je hari tu kawen kan? Korang ingat lagi tak post post lama aku wrote about him? How we met how I miss him la segala sappy notes ada 😂 Geli geleman aku baca balik. 

Sekarang dah matured sikit. Sikit je la. Perangai tu ke kadang mcm be budak ada lagi 😂 Tu dah sebati dengan diri, kenot be helped.

But yeah. Dah 6 tahun aku merempat di negara orang. Eh bukan merempat la, I've made a living here, I've settled down here. Kawan pun dah ramai. Tak perlu menagih simpati to kak ipar Or adik ipar. Im standing on my own two feet.

Walaupun hidup penuh dengan hutang piutang especially hutang Medical (US healthcare is expensive) that just means I'm living a normal life la kan 😂 Semua orang berhutang 😂

Wei korang perasan tak, dlm gambar tu aku dah tak de rambut 😂 If you've been following my FB or IG then it's not a surprise but for those yang tak follow, yesssssss I shaved my hair down to a crew cut 😂😂

I GOT BALLS SON. 

ok la. Mula mula tu bibir dah terketar ketar bila First time tengok cermin 😂 but after a couple seconds and a couple deep breaths, ok dah. I could rationalize my reasoning. I've always wanted to cut my hair that short, then pakai subang gedabak. Rasa mcm dayummmm u sleeek.

Its also a testament to my own will. Sebab dah lama asyik contemplate nak potong pendek, and boom yeah I finally did it. 

Also kalau orang tanya kenapa botak, I'd just say "oh I had cancer" 😂

Eh betul la kan. Bukan tipu 😂

Hmm. Apa lagi aku nak merepek kat sini. It feels different writing karangan panjang panjang using my phone. Malas asyik kena backspace sebab silap eja.

Eh admit je la dah kau tu mmg pemalas Alia 😂

Anyway dah tulis panjang panjang ni, ada lagi ke orang guna blogger platform? Ramai guna IG and TikTok je aku tengok. 

I don't have TikTok je. Jangan tanya. 

Also, I noticed a surge of people trying to add me on IG. I believe I've approved most of them but kalau your profile tak de gambar or tak de activity, I don't approve. I don't need  surveillance camera ye. 

Chewah. Macam bajet celebrity kau ni Alia 😂 

But really, Ive toned down over the years, so my life is pretty ordinary. I'm in my mid 30s so I'm trying to live a normal life. 

Except for these. I have to take these amount of pills daily. 

Paling menyampah these pills make me nausea and bloated and asyik nak terberak berak je 😂

Dah la aku ni memang suka berak, but these pills just exacerbate that situation u know what I mean 😂😂 

As for my professional life - my company has extended our work from home until June 1st. I like it. Tak perlu nak drive to the office everyday. It takes about 40-45minutes to get to the office (without traffic) so WFH memang save duit minyak. Kereta pun tak perlu berjalan banyak. Don suka la sebab dia memang doesn't like the idea of me driving on the interstate sebab ramai drivers mcm taik kat sini. 

The only caveat is that he has to listen to me on Zoom calls multiple times a day daily. Aku pun tak tau mcm mana aku boleh kerja with all these meetings. Even before WFH order ni pun I get on calls like a gazillion times a day. That's why when I get home or after work, memang I don't want to talk to anyone. Penat wei bercakap 😂😂

OK la. My phone pun nak habis battery. Nanti ke besok ke lusa ke 3 tahun lagi ke aku sambung 🤣🤣

ROGER ROGER

Weiii

Lama gila tak tulis blog. Ada hari tu reader mentioned kat IG (hollaaaa chibimoruku) yang dia kadang kadang jenguk blog ni, samada ada update ke tak. Memang dah berabuk laaa, tadi nak log in pun tak ingat password 😂 Nasib baik aku ada tulis kat organizer.

Bagus jugak ada organizer ni kan. It organizes your life, chewahhh. Oleh itu, beli lah organizer, sekian. Ehhh 😂

Anyway, nampak tak blogger pun dah upgrade uolsss. Siap ada emoji bagai. Nampak sangat la aku ni memang outdated nak mati kan. Last update tahun 2017 weiii

2017!!

Tahun tu......ntah, I don't remember
hahahahahahahaha baru je 3 tahun lalu kan, itu pun dah tak ingat.

Ntah la, banyak benda dah berlaku, so untuk mengimbasi (mengimbasi? is that a word??) masa lampau is not part of my agenda

I'm an open book - I talk about the things that happened in my life dalam Facebook and my IG. So kalau teringin nak tau perkembangan semasa, silalah add saya di IG.

So mari kita summarize what happened to me sejak 2017:

2017

• Dapat promotion
• Dapat office
• Dapat jalan merata-rata in the US
• Ntah apa lagi tak ingat 😂😂

2018

• Pergi India for 3 weeks sebab kerja
• Balik Malaysia for the weekend after 4 tahun tak balik (sebab dah kat India kan - alang alang separuh perjalanan dah)
• Gosh apa lagi weiii 😂😂 Ntah apa apa kau ni Alia, baik tak payah update kalau tak ingat 

2019

• Don and I balik Malaysia for 2 weeks!! Holiday sakan uolsssss! The best time of my life!! Banyak dah bertukar wei. Banyak bangunan, banyak malls, banyak kereta, eh banyak semua lah! It's no longer the Malaysia that I used to know. Nak drive kereta pun kekok sebab kat sini drive the right side kan. So I had my sister la jadi drebar aku
• I found out that I had breast cancer - actually dah jumpa lump sebelum pergi India, but had to wait until I get back to the US. 
• Had lumpectomy to remove the lump. Ni ok je, tak sakit sangat pun. Aku cuti 2 hari je. After that dah boleh jalan jalan 
• Had another surgery called Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy untuk ambil my lymph nodes bawah ketiak. Ni sakit gila weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Aku tak tau mcm mana nak explain, dia bukan sakit luka ke apa tau, ni mcm sakit ngilu. I couldn't lift up my arm. Kena kepit je. Nak basuh ketiak pun ngilu gila wei. I'd rather have my ketiak berkerak than to rasa the ngilu hahahaa. Tapi lagi gua tak kasi ketiak hangit, so dia la yang tolong dok bukak sikit sikit hahahahaha. Sampai sekarang (2020) pun masih ada limited movement and kadang kadang ada sharp shooting pain. Doctor cakap that's normal, it could take years for it to stop
• Had radiation therapy. Ni it blasted radiation on my boob for 20 sessions. Setiap session tak sampai 5 minit pun. Datang hospital, sign in, tukar baju to hospital gown, baring atas platform, pew pew, dah siap. Tak rasa apa apa pun. Sampai la weeks later, baru la nampak tetek sebelah hitam, sebab it's a radiation treatment kan. Then it hits my stamina too, so i was fatigue most of the times. Asyik nak tido je, tapi apa beza dengan time biasa pun? hahahaha
• Found out I have diabetes. So hari hari kena makan obat on top of my cancer pills
• We bought a house. YAYYY achievement unlocked!! Rasa mcm adult uolssss

Eh banyak benda berlaku in 2019. It was a busy year for me and Don

2020

• I traded in my 2014 Chevrolet Sonic to a 2019 Honda Civic Hatchback
• Same ol same ol

Eh ok la, aku nak muntah sebab makan M&Ms tak hingat dunia.

COMIC: Denial

Welcome to my world, Mr. Husband.

COMIC: Not Even Kidding...

Bau ikan bilis tu mmg dah habis toxic la pada dia
Tau la kan bila goreng ikan bilis, mmg bau harum semerbak, so satu rumah lah mmg bau ikan bilis

Waktu menggoreng ikan bilis mmg saat saat genting la la to Don, tak boleh napas katanya, bau habis menusuk hidung katanya...dramatik habis la laki aku ni.

COMIC: Rub Me the right way

Hey guys!

Don just got meself a new Wacom tablet! Woohooo!

So stay tuned for more webcomics!!

Sedih

Shit la. I made the mistake of re-reading my old posts in this blog. Sampai la tang post this:

Charity is Charity

Meleleh air mata gua baca balik what I wrote uolsssss!

Emosiiiiii

Because I remember exactly what happened and how I felt!

It's a shitty feeling when people think you're the reason why this household won't be able to eat for the week.

It's a shitty feeling when you feel like you're unwanted, where you don't feel belong. 

It's a shitty feeling when you can't do anything to help the situation and you yourself need some help. 

Remembering back, it was sooooo bad. I felt soooo fucking alone and foreign. Terkontang-kanting aku sensorang kat situ, unable to defend myself. 

I don't want to relive that moment. 

I also haven't told my family about it, there's really no reason to anyway. I mean apa diorg boleh buat pun kan? Plus, that was yeaaarsss agoooo. Now I'm no longer a moocher and I can support myself. 

Sekarang aku pulak yg kasi duit monthly for the parents in law. Which I don't mind, it's like payback la kan. They've been helping me all these years so i don't mind helping them now. Both of them are retired now. 

But guess what, not only ahkakipar tu masih lagi terkapai-kapai tak cukup duit itu ini, now we have adik ipar pulak yg setiap bulan tak cukup duit itu ini. Tapi setiap weekend aku tengok diorg keluar berjoli. Sewa rumah bil elektik air semua tak pernah cukup. So guess who la diorg korek duit? Of course la mak mertua haku kan. And guess where la mak mertua dpt duit utk support anak anak dia tu? Of course la dari aku kan. 

So in a way, the reason sebab rumah diorg masih ada heater, power, TV, phone bill bagai, semua bersumber dari duit gaji aku. 

now who's the moocher bitch.

Sekian. 

Way to End 2017

What's up homies.
Setelah setahun tak update blog, tetiba teringin nak update uols.

Punyalah lama tak update, sampai password pun tak ingat. Nasib baik a year ago or so gua dah tukar no phone untuk 2-step verification to my US number. Kalau tak, mmg confirm verification code tu sampai ke mamat yg guna my Malaysian number.

Speaking of which, terkejut jugak la bila nampak my own name kat WhatsApp (yes I added my own phone number in my phone) display picture dah tukar to gambar kereta. Confirm la bukan aku kan. So I messaged "my number" and it turned out to be this dude that's the new owner of the number. Celcom recycled number aku lepas aku tak bayar bill selama 2 tahun hahahahh.

Gila apa aku nak bayar, first of all, paying Malaysian bills when you're out of the country is a pain in the ass. Nak kena buat international transfer bagai. Paling tak boleh blah, most Malaysian bills require TAC number kalau nak bayar online. Macam haroommm. Mana aku nak korek nombor phone Malaysia.

Secondly, Celcom tak de "pay as you use" plan. Macam dedulu. Kau cuma bayar kalau kau guna line. They forced me to pay RM40 monthly basically for nothing. It was for the account fee. Memang lah tak mahal mana pun especially kalau kau convert to USD. Dlm what, $9 monthly je. Memula tu rajin la jugak aku transfer duit bayar bill Celcom, tapi lelama, mmg lemakkk ahhhh. Fee utk transfer duit from my US bank to my Malaysian bank lagi mahal dari fee yg aku kena bayar utk Celcom. Mintak hampunnnn la.

I should have called them and requested them to deactivate my phone, tapi ntah. Malas kot. Tak ingat kenapa I didn't do it, this happened a couple of years ago dah. Ni mmg cerita throwback habis ah.


ANYWAY, enough about old story la, now it's time to get current.

Well I don't really have anything to talk about....life tak de la se-happening mcm life kat Malaysia. Over here, my life is about work, and laki gua.

Oh SHOUT OUT TO LAKI GUA UOLSSS, he just turned 33 last 12/12!

"I finally caught up to you" bak katanya.

Plsssss. I'm only 6-weeks older than him, bukan 6 years ke apaaa. Habis macho la tu kenkonon he bagged an "older woman". HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Work-wise, not sure if I've mentioned this in my previous posts before, almaklumlah, update blog pun sekali setahun, mana gua nak ingat apa isi kandungan last post. But anyway, gua dpt promotion 10 months ago and I got meself a cozy little corner office. Mata-mata manusia kat office tu jeling jeling je la. Ye la kan, gua kan budak baru, baru joined company setahun, dpt promotion lompat 2-3 positions sekali gus, tetiba dpt opis u guysssssss. Tapi pedulikkkkkkkkkkk apaaaa akuu, I worked my ass off, and still working my ass off, so i deserve it.

Also since I'm much familiar dgn my current position right now, boss gua dah start campak gua merata-rata. I'm still getting myself comfortable having to travel all over the US. Director gua dah bising bising tanya bila gua nak renew passport (passport expired uolsss hahaha). I still don't have the time to travel to New York to get it renewed. Very inconvenient siot. Malaysia government ni ingat US ni kecik macam Malaysia je kot.

ANYWAY, I'm planning my next work trip to Denver Colorado in Feb 2018. Aduiii, travel time winter leceh gilaaaa wehhh. Dah la pergi Denver, confirm weather tak menentu, dan dan turun salji bagai. Leceh wehhh. Pergi seminggu, confirm balik peluk laki rinduuu ya amaaatttt

Eh, laki gua masuk bilik air pun gua dah rindu ok

HAHAHAHAHA


MOVING on, I was planning to go to the mall today, tapi pemalasnyaaaa ya ampunnnnnn. Bukak pintu je ZUUUUUUUUFFF angin sejuk hala kemuka. Mmg gua tutup balik lah pintu. Lepas tu macam macam alasan la gua kasi kat diri sendiri, hari Sabtu orang ramai la, especially time time nak Xmas ni kan, pastu takut ada some crazy folks tetiba bawak pistol ke apa...hahahahaha, mmg saikosis kan. It was just me trying to convince myself not to go out.

Memang berbeza dgn my old self. I'd go out in an instant. Especially time time sejuk ni kan. Ketiak tak de la berpeluh. I mean I'm still the same, it's just sometimes I'd like to be lazy and NOT DO ANYTHING. Haha, confirm makcik walrus ni dah mcm orang tua. Lagipun laki gua ni mmg jenis sama pe'el. Memasing pemalas nak mampos. So we spent our Saturday taking naps. HAHAHA. Sumpah weh, kitaorg berdua mmg terbongkang tido siang siang hari.

I still need to go to the mall though, sebab gua kena repair my watch. Tengok la besok mcm mana. Or I can go on Monday, sebab I work from home every Mondays uolsss (one of the perks of my job).

Ok la, I think I need to do something else now, ntah la, I don't know what yet, hahaha, maybe main The Sims 4 kot.

Sementara itu, ENJOY GAMBAR LAKI BINI SAIKOSIS NI YAAA.

Picture taken during our 2017 Thanksgiving.
Sesiapa yg dah tengok gambar ni....well too bad! Sila la tatapi gambar ni lagi. HAHAHHAH

Sekian!

Walrus

Ok aku macam tak de update yang munasabah ataupun yang berbaloi korang nak baca. Tapi jari jemari halus mulus ai ni gatal nak update blog. Rasa ala-ala productive sikit la, walaupun entry ke laut. Tapi pedulikkkkk la kan. Nasib korang la kekadang dapat entry sampah mcm ni. (eh hari hari pun entry sampah)

Short update:
Mak walrus ni has been diagnosed as pre-diabetic.

Yaassss. I am so unhealthy that I had to have the lab results hit me on the face.

I'm not diabetic yet, so tak perlu nak cucuk insulin bagai (I think that's a different type of diabetes or something? Ntah, gua tak arif lagi pasal medical ni). But I'm getting there if I don't change my lifestyle.

My doctor refused to put me on pills sebab she said I'm still young to be depending on pills. She also said "GET THAT BUTT MOVING GIRLLLL" (yes, my doctor is hip and awesome. She's also young). So I'm trying to constantly move during the day.

Nak terus terus jump onto the exercise routine lapanblas jam sehari tu memang tak la. That's too high of a goal. Tak realistic. So instead of signing up for unrealistic goals like that, I plan to actively move throughout the day. I will try to get on the treadmill for at least 20minutes and have my daily goal of 8000 steps.

I will increase once I'm more acquainted with the activities.

My health coach (yes y'all. Ahkak ada health coach. uols. She's a dedicated health coach at my workplace, so you can book her time slot), she gave me a fitbit to try. I told her I don't want to splurge on something that I don't know if I'd like it. So now I have this fitbit on my wrist. Macam best pulak tengok the number of steps tu. Aku ni memang jenis competitive, so if I see my coworkers with a lot of steps, I will try to beat their numbers. My health coach cakap, this could work then!

So we shall see berapa lama aku tahan.

Tengok tengok besok malam I will stuff my face with a cheesecake.

Eh, tetiba kempunan cheesecake.

HAHAHAHA baru sat tadi cakap pasal healthy activities bagaiiiiiii, tapi dah dasar pelahapppppp



Ok bai.

Pap Smear

For the first time in my life, I went for a pap smear test.

homaigod.

Ok ceritanya gini.

I scheduled my appointment for a pap smear on Feb. The first time I went to see my doctor, hari tu cuma untuk sesi berkenalan je. Dia nak tau family history, my health history, current medication blah blah. Kira that day was for the patient (aka me) to gauge whether or not I'd like this doctor to be my doctor.

The procedure over here, kita boleh hire-and-fire your doctor to be your Primary Care Physician (PCP). Your PCP will be your first contact kalau ada apa-apa masalah as well as caring for your on-going health issues. So instead of going to some random clinic ke hospital ke apa, you'd first go to see your PCP, they will diagnose you and recommend the proper solution. They'd also refer you to a trusted specialist if you need. If you need ubat ke apa, they'll provide the prescription for you and you can bring that prescription to the pharmacy. They're your family doctor la kiranya.

Speaking of ubat, hospitals and doctors office usually tak de obattt. You'd have to get your obat from outside pharmacies. Usually drug stores ada pharmacy segment at the back, so you'd bring your prescription from your doctor to them, and they'll provide you with your meds.

ANYWAY

So I scheduled my appointment, and my doctor told me to schedule another appointment for physical.

Like crap. Tak boleh ke buat sekali gus. Malasnyaaaaa nak kena amik cuti bagai.
But whatever lah. More of a reason for me to prep my vagina. LOLOL

So I did. I scheduled 2 weeks after that day. When the day came, tetiba la pulak period kan. I wasn't sure if you can do your pap smear WHILE on period. Aku fikir, mesti bersembur sembur darah bila kangkang kan...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Damn imaginasi tinggi.

I rescheduled it, a month later.

So the day for my physical finally arrived. Oh before tu lupa nak bagitau, on the day itself (my appointment was at 2:30pm), in the morning I was working. So I rushed home, got home around 1pm-ish, had lunch etc. Tengah tengah rehat sambil tunggu jam 2am (the health center is only 10mins from my house), tiba tiba teringat:

"OH SHIT. AKU TAK SHAVE PEPET LAGI"

Then kelam kabut shave. Nasib baik gua ni pro. Guna shaver laki. Dia shave muka, gua shave pepet.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAH

Tahik gila aku ni

Anyway, kau nak present your vajayjay to a stranger, takkan kau nak dia perform treasure hunting kot. Kena selak selak baru jumpa. HAHAHAHHAHA

Ok I'm making it sounds so horrible, it's not that horrible guys. Aku tak de la biarkan pubic hair tumbuh so wild sampai boleh buat braids, y'alls.

Jijik.

Macam mana laki aku nak perform hobi di malam Jumaat kalau bukak bukak je WHOOSSHH rumput sejambak.

HAHAHAHSJAHSJAHSJAHS

Oh speaking of malam Jumaat, what in the world does that mean? Meaning kau cuma have sex hari Jumaat je ke? (or is it on Thursday night itself?)

But whatever it is, damn how do you live with that. Once a week? It's not a chore ladies. It's human nature, we want it all the time.

Anyway I digress.

So back to my pap smear test (HAHAH yes aku ni kuat get off track). So I dragged my husband with me in the room. My doctor came, we talked a bit, blah blah, then she told me wear this hospital gown yg ada cuma strings tu. Ok, meh sini aku nak complain, ni gown utk budak budak ke apaaaa. My boobs can barely fit the damn thing!

Anyway, so I laid on the medical chair thingy (??for some reason my brain can't think what it's called, but you should know what I mean), she covered my bottom half with a cover, and said "Ok, I'm going to check for any lumps on your breasts now ok"

I was like.

"Um, okay, go ahead, pile on onto my uncomfortable-ness"

All of us laughed at my dumb joke.

Dude, I don't know why but I'd make dumb jokes when I'm uncomfortable.  I used to just talk non-stop, but apparently I've developed this habit where I'd say stupid shit. I guess it's my brain trying to ease up the situation or something.

Anyway, she opened my gown, and pressed on my boobs. Squeeze and squeezed.

DUDE, IT HURT.

Don't get me wrong, I like it rough on the bed, but THIS FRICKING HURT.
LOLOL

She said all is normal.
I replied "Good, because that hurt and I don't want to do it again"

LOL
Sorry, I couldn't help my mouth.

Then she went on to pull the leg structures from the chair (sorry, don't know what it's called), and asked me to put my legs there. She told me to move forward so that my butt touches the edge of the chair.

She lubed up the device, and told me to take a deep breath. And she shoved it in.

Ok first thing first here. The "shoving" part, didn't hurt at all. maybe the fact that I'm used to big stuff LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, but it's the fucking scraping or swabbing or whatever that comes afterwards that's soooooooooooooooooooo uncomfortable!!

I felt it was scraping the inner wall of my vagina (ok that's not true, it's actually the opening of the cervix) but hole fucking shitball.

Most. Uncomfortable. Feeling. Ever.

And I thought letting a stranger squeeze my boobs were uncomfortable?? How naive was I.


Oklah, I know you're an expert, you've had 10120231 pap smear tests, and you must be thinking  "alaaaaaa setakat feeling pap smear je dah dramatik over over".

Whatever.

I'm telling how I felt and if you don't like it, then go write on your own blog.

Eh tetiba defensive apahal.
HAHAHAH

Anyway, I hated the feeling. It didn't hurt. And when Don asked me how it felt, I couldn't describe it. I told him, it's not just something I can describe.

He said "try me"

I said "Can't. You don't have a hole in your private region"

He said "yes I do. A butt hole"

T___________T

Whatever, gua malas nak layan laki gua.

Ok bai.

Rage. So much rage.

Hi.

I have lots of shit in my mind now, I figured I might as well type it out before I get crazy.

Eh, memang dah crazy pun. Too late.

KAH KAH KAH.

Anyway,

ONE
You don't have to tell me that my family misses me like crazy, or my cat cries during her sleep, or my grandma sobs whenever she cooks my favorite dish.

Stop. Just stop.


You're not helping the situation. Unless if you want to buy me 2 return tickets and still pay for my salary for the duration that I'll be gone, then I'm down.

But if not, then wtf is your point???

Also, I will only accept USD. MYR has little to no value over here.

Look I get it, they miss me. I miss them terribly too, but you don't have to flaunt it like YOOW MAMMA MISSES YOW LIK CRAYCRAY

I fucking know.

It annoys the shit outta me when people ask me when I'm going back to see my family, as if I have miraculously forgotten about them, as if they don't fucking exist anymore.
It's even more annoying when you keep on nagging that someone in my family misses me blah blah like what the heck are you trying to say here? That I don't miss them too? That I purposely do not want to go back to see them?

I HAVE NO FUCKING MONEY
NO FUCKING VACATION TIME
I just got a promotion I'm not about to take 3 weeks off.
I'm also in the process of buying a house so all $$$$$$$$$$ goes into that fund.

Again, bitching behind my back about me not wanting to see my family does you no good.

I WILL VISIT MY FAMILY WHEN TIME PERMITS. So STFU.


TWO
[fuck. I typed this long winded essay about work TWICE, and had to delete them]

[because I'm refraining myself from talking about work here]

[also just know that I've only been in the company for less than a year, and already received a promotion]

[bear in mind that with that promotion, it lets me skip 2 (possibly 3) positions at one go]

Also, to survive over here, you'd have to be assertive. You cannot bring your Asian ala-takperlah-segan-lah mentality over here or you will be stepped over and over again.

You have to be strong, lobby the shit outta yourself, and be fucking extra at everything that you do. Make your effort recognized. Have no shame. Raise your hand. Speak up. Give opinions. Ask questions regardless of how bodoh you may sound. Volunteer to lead. Take responsibility if you fuck up. Take the initiative to improve yourself. Don't be lazy. Take no shit from people if they throw you shit.

Oh that reminds me of a story. Someone was spewing shit story about how I refused to help out blah blah.

The fuck? I didn't receive any notification nor any email about that, so I had to clue.

I had to clear my name out. I went to the manager explaining my situation.

I will not take any shit being thrown at me.  I will own up my own mistakes.


THREE
I no longer consider Malaysia my home.

Stop saying I should go home.

Home is where I make it. And I'm making my home here.

I hate Malaysia's politics, I hate US' politics too.
But I especially hate Malaysia's politics.

I also hate how racist and double standard Malaysians are.
If you follow me on FB, then you'd know how deeply invested I am on certain topics.
I'm not going to reiterate them here.
My fingers are getting tired.


FOUR
I have no shame to admit that I'm beginning to forget certain words in BM. Most of the times its one of those bahasa pasar/bahasa rempit. I'd sometimes find myself using google translate.

To my defense, I hardly speak BM anymore. Who am I going to speak BM with?? Don only knows 3% of the language (best case). I have no Malaysian friends here. I hardly speak BM on my FB anymore (to appease my husband and his side of the family).

Also, don't fucking tell me that I've "forgotten my roots". As far as I know "cuwiee" or "bezs" are not in the fucking dictionary.




FIVE
I'm starving.

Rasa nak goreng ayam pulak. Makan dengan kicap ABC dan cili padi.

Ok bai.

Also, I have no cili padi here.
Jalapeno dan habenero berlambak lah. 

GUESS WHO'S BACK?? ALIA'S BACK!

Homaigod
Alia is aliveeeeee

Hoooraaayyy!!

Ok, not really. Bareeeelllyyyy alive!
Semalam rasa nak pitam. Sakit perut macam nak beranak 8. I had diarrhea and stomach cramp at the same time. Menggigil badan semalam. I had to take a sick day from work today. Kalau tak mahunya pengsan on the road.

There goes my clean record of straight work attendance at work since I started working.
I told my boss that I have not taken a single day off from work since I reported for duty, dia punya lah impressed sampai ckp unbelievable. I am (well, was) the only employee yang tak pernah amik cuti. Tapi sebab smlm tercirit cirit, muntah muntah, I had to break that record :(

 Anyway. How are you guys doing? Lama rasanya tak berborak dalam BM. I have so much to talk about, tapi as usual, bila depan keyboard, terus hilang idea.

It's fall season now. So temperature makin hari makin sejuk. I live in the south, so tak de la melampau drastic temperature. Sejuk lite lite gitu je.

Hari tu first time experienced state of emergency where they deployed National Guard during the Charlotte protest. My office is near the National Guard base, so hari tu keluarlah segala tanks, trucks, lori bagai. Usually the base is empty, not much activity, tapi sebab state of emergency, sumpah hectic. The mayor even put a curfew on uptown Charlotte and the major highway. So sesiapa yg masih berada in the city during that curfew hours, kena tangkap uols.

Rumah ahkak is about 40mins away from Charlotte, tapi opis kat Charlotte. Tapi nasib baik la my office bukan kat uptown. But untuk pergi keja, I have to use that major highway. Nasib ler they lifted the curfew pukul 6am. Just about time for us decent folks to make some honest living.

I was more concerned about idiots trashing my car.
Korang bukannya tak tau, criminals and thugs will use this opportunity to do stupid shit.

Did you guys see the videos during the protest? It was more like a riot than a protest. They were trashing the place, offices, fires, kejadian mobster. Please lah. Sebab tu I don't agree with this kind of protest. Dapat manusia bodoh macam tu, things get violent.

Anyway, for those yang bertanya (kalau tak tanya pun aku nak kasi tau jugak), I am fine. Duh. Obviously. LOL. But my family was worried sebab it was battle of skin color, whether they admit that or not. They said it wasn't, but we all know that it was. I mean I am brown, but I married a white man. So I was expected to choose a side? No thanks.

Anywaaaaaayyy, moving on to a lighter note, we recently went to a park somewhere here (about ~30mins from my house) sebab diorg ada art festival. There were music bands, tons of handicraft stores. I really had fun. But there were waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many people. Don and I even went for a short hike in the forest. This park is like kau nak jungle trekking, kau nak main paddle boat, kau nak main water pads? No problem.

Imma post some pictures because I know you guys are bored reading this already LOL

Jalan masuk park. If you don't want to walk, there are tractors that will carry your lazy fat ass to the entrance. LOL. Tapi oleh disebabkan ahkak ni masih gagah perkasa, kita jalan kaki ye nok.

 Punyalah ramai nya manusiaaaaa

 Aku perasan yg berkulit putih je suka benda benda gini. Yang berkulit gelap jarang betul nampak kat tempat tempat nature macam ni.

 Tetiba ada casket uols. Halloween decoration katanya.

 Khemah khemah kecil selling their handcrafted goods. Rasa macam gypsies pulak.

 Blacksmith in progress. Dunno what he was making. A sword? An iron plate? A cup?

 We met them here.

 Laki gua yang saikosis.

 We broke off from there. They went home. We went on our way. We had tons of exploring to do.

 Next stop: The lake.

 Sambil tu, kita selfie dulu.

 I wore the wrong shoes for trailing. I was wearing my sneakers instead of my sports shoes.

Girls, it is ALWAYS important that you wear according to the occasion. Jangan jadi macam ahkak.

Afterwards, perut lapar gilaaaa. Since we're both not familiar with the area (it was in Salisbury btw), so we've decided to go back to our favorite IHOP.

Mamat ni tengah berangan apa ntah.



Ok bai.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
As usual, Alia punya entry tiada ending.


Nah, amik gambar kami berdua seketul.

Alia Tiba-Tiba Muncul

Haiii penghuni penghuni dunia bloggingggg

Masih wujud ke anda?
Haha. Sumpah I don't know whether blogging is still a thing or not
Cheeeewwaaahh, cakap macam aku ni berenti blogging 10 tahun, padahal 4 bulan jee. hahahahahhha

Anywayy, I know I haven't been writing much, ntah kenapa tetiba hari ni mood nak type panjang panjang dalam BM muncul.

Speaking of BM, I hardly speak BM anymore. Except when replying to whatsapp group messages to my family and friends. Itu pun campur aduk. Sometimes I have to stop while in the middle of typing a sentence, just because I don't remember what a certain word is called.

hahahaha hampehhhhh.
Bajet sepiking sepikong. Tiba-tiba dah lupa daratan. HAHAHA
Sila lempang plissssss.

I mean honestly, tell me when should I speak BM. Only on my FB and Whatsapp. FB pun jarang. I'd only update my FB in BM if aku tanak rakyat Amerika ni paham.

Oh btw, ni nak cerita. Makin hari makin naik menyampah tahap lapanploh ganda kat abg ipa. HAHAHAHA hari tu kat kak ipar. Skrang abg ipar. Ni laki si akakipa tu la. Laki bini aku menyampah.

Perkahwinan diorg mmg tunggang langgang, which I honestly don't care. Lantak kau la apa jadi. Tapi kalau setiap hari aku bukak FB, mesti nampak sepuluh status berturut-turut si laki ni puji bini melebih lebih sampai tahap nampak mcm no balls.

Serioussslllyyyyyyy naiikk muakkk dudeeeeee. I think sebab I know what's REALLY going on behind closed door. Setiap hari akk ipr akan msg laki aku ckp dia dgn laki dia gadoh lagi. Or bila dia dtg rumah, dia personally bagitau  aku dgn Don yg laki dia tu hopeless, lazy, suka intai betina lain, suka kasi undies kat betina lain, etc. Gadoh je memanjang. So bila kau baca status lovey dovey tu, kau yg rasa "eeeeee fake gila babeng".

contoh (ni aku translate ye):
"saya lah suami yg paling beruntung sekali! dpt isteri yg paling cantik di dunia, yg paling manja, yg paling blah blah blah!"

"hidup saya ni paling best!! dpt bini yg paling cantik!!"

"sapa ada bini yg paling cantik, paling jelita, paling special, paling whatevertheshit di dunia ini?!? SAYA!!"

---

Pastu sejam lepas update status ala-ala bajet romantik mcm tu, dia pi share musik video lagu lagu emo nak bunuh diri sebab my life is so shit.

urgghhhhhh

Menyampah ok, Menyampaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Ok. Dah. Tanak ckp pasal diorg dah. Buat bazir tenaga je type panjang panjang cita pasal diorg.

------------

On a brighter note, .......eh, tak de apa yg brighter nya. Hahaha.
My life is sooo boring.
Bangun pagi, pergi kerja. Balik kerja, tido.

Penat weh.

Nak update pasal kerja...hmmmm, I dunno what to say. I like my job.
Sebab senang kot? I mean I know what my job requires me to do. I know the nature of the job. I know what is expected.

Bukan mcm my job previously. Sumpah aku ni mmg bukan otak IT. I just could not grasp the concept of IT engineering kot.

Blajar IT engineering sampai terberak-berak, last last masuk marketing jugak.

Kah kah kah.

Ketawa kat diri sendiri.

My colleagues call me workaholic. Sebab I would just work, work, work and work. They also say that I'm so friendly; especially dgn sales team. Sales ni diorg ckp, mmg sombong nak mampos. Suka carik gadoh dgn diorg. Not willing to lend a hand katanya. Diorg yg dah kerja kat situ bertahun-tahun pun masih tak boleh geng dgn sales. Payah nak dpt pertolongan dari depa. Especially team dari northeastern region (New York, etc) .Orang orang NY mmg mcm celaka.

But not for me. So far tak de la lagi perbalahan antara aku dgn sales. Smooth sailing je. Even one of the sales team members personally emailed bos aku, saying that dia penat nak jawab email-email dari team aku, so kalau sesiapa yg tak paham on how to do their job (yesssss, ni mmg apa yg dia ckp - I told you diorg ni mmg direct to the point je. Tak de ayat bunga bunga), pegi tanya Alia. Alia ni sungguh cekap dan sungguh thorough.

Waaahhh.
Kembang kempis hidung ok.

Member aku ckp, aku patut print email tu, kasi frame. Sebab after a couple of years dia kerja kat situ, mmg tak pernah orang sales puji division kitaorg; especially to a specific person.

Waahhh.
Lagi la kembang kempis hidung.

Semua orang dok tanya apa black magic aku pakai.
Dengan selamba kodoknya, aku ckp "biarlah rahsiaaa"

Ok tipu. Aku tak jawab pun.
Sengih sengih je sebab hati masih berbunga-bunga lepas kena puji. harap harap dpt bonus 10bulan. 

Diorg asyik komplen yg orang orang NY ni rude betul.
Ntah la. Aku pun tak pasti. Maybe sebab orang MY pun mcm sial-sial belaka. So aku dah lali dgn perangai perangai taik mcm tu kot. Kah kah kah.

Seriously.
I'm not saying that everybody here is the sweetest human being ever, it's just, majority of them are really nice. Maybe it's a southern thang.

Diorg ckp org org south ni polite.
They call everybody "honey" "love" "sweetie".

But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about their overall manner.
Most people here are so polite.
Walaupun diorg ni jarang mandi (kah kah), tapi when it comes to public cleanliness, they abide to the rules.
Drivers kat highways pun tak de la se-babi drivers di Malaysia.
Drivers kat Malaysia semua kiasu, selfish. Pakcik yg konon berkopiah pun boleh jadi road bully.
Over here, majority (majority doesn't mean ALL - sila jgn jadi taik dan defensive sgt) of the road users are nice(r) than Malaysians road users.
Diorg bawak motor pun sama-sama queue on the lane kalau traffic jam. Memang jarang betul aku tgk diorg selit selit celah kereta.

The more I see how these people operate their vehicles, the more aku rasa malu dgn negara asal aku.

Bila la rakyat Malaysia nak jadi penyabar.

*sigh*

Tons Of Pictures

Fuh.
Lamanya rasa tak type full sentences dalam BM. Rasa kekok pulak.
Chey chey chey
Sila tampar sikit.
Perasan mat salleh sangat.

Hahaha

Anyway, kali ni cikkak tak de isu isu hangat untuk diperdebatkan. Kalau ada pun, I'm not interested to write about it.

Kali ni I'm just gonna upload tons of pictures sebab today is Easter Sunday and I had my first experience of coloring eggs yesterday.

But before that, mari lah kita throwback ke ntah beberapa minggu yang lalu.


DEADPOOL
We finally went to watch Deadpool I think after about 2 weeks movie tu keluar kot. Adik ipar ku memang fanatik betul Deadpool so dia la yg ajak.

We went to Starlight cinema, and I don't think I can ever go to another cinemas again because Starlight has spoilt me. They have reclining seats and seats dia adalah gabak. bagus untuk mak walrus ini.

 Tengok la laki 2 ekor ni. Saikosis tau.

Yes. popcorn adalah gabak.
I think size bucket tu is Large and the drink is a Medium.

Bucket tu lagi besar dari kepala aku ok. Jangan memain.
I think throughout the whole movie, mulut tak berhenti mengunyah, tapi at the end of the movie, mcm tak sentuh langsung popcorn tu.
Gila babeng punya banyak.

But one thing je aku kureng sikit, their popcorn bukannya caramel mcm kat Mesia. Theirs is salty uols. Kalau nak caramel, kena top up for toppings (or buy outside of the cinema).

Sini popcorn = salty. Sebab tu Americans saiz gempal gempal. hehehehe.

RANDOM OOTD 
Original goal ialah utk tangkap gambar OOTD. Tapi sempat tangkap 2 hari je. Pastu hilang semangat.

hahahahahahaha

Sila enjoice 2 gambar ni je.

ALIA BERKERJAYA DAN BERKERETA
I got my very own first car!

Ini maybe highlight of the month la kot.
Tak pernah seumur idup ni beli kereta sendiri, so ini memang first car la.

I'll have to say, walaupun I had to go through hoops sebab I'm considered a new immigrant (I have no credit report), tapi getting a car is relatively easier as compared to Malaysia.

okay maybe la nak beli kereta kat Malaysia tu pun senang, it's just aku tak de pengalaman beli keta kat Malaysia. But based from my relatives and friends punya experience, agak payah dan leceh la jugak.
 
Last weekend, we went to the car dearlership with the intention of finding what my options are, considering aku tak de credit report since I'm a new immigrant.

Having an established credit is everything over here. From buying/renting a house, to a car, getting a credit card, to even smart phones, semua diorg tgk your credit report. Credit report tu is a report of your credit history, how you bayar your hutang. Kalau you bayar on time everytime, your credit ratings tinggi which is good, which means you'd have no prob of getting a loan.

So since my credit report is basically "nothing", it's considered as "bad credit" sebab they don't know whether or not aku ni boleh harap utk bayar hutang or not. So sebab tu I was pretty nervous of going to the dealership. I didn't want to get my hopes high sebab kalau pergi sana then diorg ckp i'm not qualified to buy a car, mesti la punah harapan kan. hahahahaha

I'm a realist.

So anyway, after 3-4 hours there, I went home with a car uols.
Tak sangka that salesman berjaya men-convinced bank utk kasi loan. Gila terrer salesman tu.

I got myself a 2014 Chevrolet Sonic LT  in blue which I'm naming him The Hedgehog.

Plate and registration belum sampai lagi. Kena tunggu dlm 30 hari baru no. plate sampai. Tu temp plate je uols.

 Memula kekok jugak la nak drive on the right side. Tapi inshallah now dah biasa. I have to always keep in mind that bila nak belok, ALWAYS keep it to the right.

Pernah sekali I was on the wrong side of the road (oncoming traffic) and Don panik mcm orang gila.
HAHAHHAHAHAHA.

Nasib baik it was a backroad and tak de kereta.

I told Don NOT to give me directions on HOW to drive sebab nanti aku confused. I'd start questioning my judgement and that's not good when you're driving. You should always let the driver judge for him/herself.

Backseat driver = a big no no.




EASTER EGGS PREPARATION? 
Question marked because aku pun tak tau nak panggil apa. Nak panggil Easter Sunday eve mcm tak kena pulak.

Anyway, since today is Easter Sunday, so yesterday we had the kids mengaler telur telur untuk diorg hunt today.

This was my first experience of coloring eggs for Easter. Best pulak uols. Aku pulak yg lebih lebih bab bab kaler ni. Hahahah.
Otak artis la katakan. hahahahahahaahahahahah

Anyway, we went to ahkak dan abang ipar punya rumah yesterday and had fun coloring eggs with the kids.

He will never admit it, but bab bab ni laki aku ni pun eksaited. Pshhh.

 

My colored egg. ntah brapa banyak kaler aku letak, last last jadik purple.

Telur putih, senang la nak letak kaler.
Ce cuba buat dengan telur coklat.

Jadik telur pindang je la.


ok bai.

happy Easter to those yang celebrate!