Sedih

Shit la. I made the mistake of re-reading my old posts in this blog. Sampai la tang post this:

Charity is Charity

Meleleh air mata gua baca balik what I wrote uolsssss!

Emosiiiiii

Because I remember exactly what happened and how I felt!

It's a shitty feeling when people think you're the reason why this household won't be able to eat for the week.

It's a shitty feeling when you feel like you're unwanted, where you don't feel belong. 

It's a shitty feeling when you can't do anything to help the situation and you yourself need some help. 

Remembering back, it was sooooo bad. I felt soooo fucking alone and foreign. Terkontang-kanting aku sensorang kat situ, unable to defend myself. 

I don't want to relive that moment. 

I also haven't told my family about it, there's really no reason to anyway. I mean apa diorg boleh buat pun kan? Plus, that was yeaaarsss agoooo. Now I'm no longer a moocher and I can support myself. 

Sekarang aku pulak yg kasi duit monthly for the parents in law. Which I don't mind, it's like payback la kan. They've been helping me all these years so i don't mind helping them now. Both of them are retired now. 

But guess what, not only ahkakipar tu masih lagi terkapai-kapai tak cukup duit itu ini, now we have adik ipar pulak yg setiap bulan tak cukup duit itu ini. Tapi setiap weekend aku tengok diorg keluar berjoli. Sewa rumah bil elektik air semua tak pernah cukup. So guess who la diorg korek duit? Of course la mak mertua haku kan. And guess where la mak mertua dpt duit utk support anak anak dia tu? Of course la dari aku kan. 

So in a way, the reason sebab rumah diorg masih ada heater, power, TV, phone bill bagai, semua bersumber dari duit gaji aku. 

now who's the moocher bitch.

Sekian.