BAWAK KERETA

Driving a car macam lipas kudung is stupid.

But you know what's even more stupid than that??

DRIVING A KELISA (mini) ON FULL SPEED WITH LESS THAN A YEAR DRIVING LICENSE, RECORDED IT AND POSTED ON FACEBOOK WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT FAMILY MEMBERS ADDED.

I caught my brother's video of him and his friends drove on a highway at MAXIMUM speed dalam kereta kelisa. Jakun jakun sebab the accelerometer reached max.

Gila ke apa.

Sure lah now it's all fun stuff, gelak guling guling, jakun to the max sebab, tapi when you're in the hospital it's not really funny now huh!?!!!

Majority of the accidents datangnya dari budak budak baru dapat lesen. Attitude nak menunjuk-nunjuk on your "capability" utk drive laju laju only results to ACCIDENTS.

YOU'RE NOT A PROFESSIONAL RACE CAR DRIVER ARE YOU??

Lesen kereta baru setahun jagung, dah nak berlagak bawak F1???

I may be an old person sebab apakah nak lecture lebih lebih ni, but I've been to the hospital a couple of times masa atok sakit and I've got to know A LOT OF TEENAGERS YANG ACCIDENT LEPAS TU LUMPUH.

AND MOST OF THEM ARE TEENS. BARU DAPAT LESEN.

Sebab tu I'm furious bila aku nampak video adik aku. Siapa tak marah?!

Dah lah bawak Kelisa, aku bawak kelisa 100km/h pon dah rasa nak terpelanting.

My ex-housemate had an accident while she was driving a kelisa and the car went spinning 360 degrees!! Itu pon dia cakap bukan full speed.

INI KAN FULL SPEED?!?!?

Of course lah my brother retorted, itu bukan kereta aku, but who the hell cares, he was in the car!! BOLEH TAK FIKIR SIKIT, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THERE WAS A SLIP??

MARAH GILA NI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hai.

Hai gais.

I've been busy playing World of Warcraft, sebab tu blog tak berupdate-update.

Anyhow, sila tatapi gambar tengkorak ini (motif??) haha.

Happy (pre) Halloween pipol!

Halloween deco @ Wayne's house

Children and parenting

Holy crap.







Gila apa.

I know that the mother could be a bad parent too (hence lah behavior anak macam celaka), most probably because she's a single parent and her daughter died recently. But holy shit. Anak liar gila, padahal umur baru 10.

Sori lah, I don't have the patience to raise that kind of monster. Kalau lah dia anak aku, mesti dah kena lempang sakti across the face. Pastu komen kat Dr. Phil "it was only a LIGHT slap!"

Hahah..

Honestly, I've been thinking of how HARD it is to raise children. Kudos to emak dan apak sebab hey, I turned out good (puji diri sendiri, apakah?? HAHA!!).

Anyway, but seriously, sejak kebelakangan ni, I've been worrying kalau aku tinggal sini, mesti anak kena sekolah kat sini. And I'm not too content of raising my children in this kind of society.

Though I LOVE the fact that people over here are more vocal than people in Malaysia, and they say things IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE RATHER THAN BEHIND YOUR BACK, but I dislike their arrogance and VERY opinionated attitude. That you're wrong and I'm always right kinda attitude la.

And also, I don't really fancy my children going to public school, be bullied and labeled. Yes I know this is bound to happen anywhere pon, but at least kat Malaysia, kes-kes buli tak der lah sampai bawak pistol to school kan. It's so rare lah kita dengar kes budak sekolah bawak pistol. Ntah-ntah pistol pon diorg tak pernah pegang kan.

Whenever I think about my future children, I fear of them succumbing into peer pressure.

Peer-pressure came from stupid kids that was raised by stupid parents.

And peer pressure is so great over here, I'm just afraid my children nanti jadi victim.

How do you raise a child WITHOUT kongkong? Cause I believe in freedom and I want my children to feel that they're not being (really) controlled, sebab kalau tak, nanti jadi macam budak sekolah agama baru masuk Uni (haha apa punya contoh la ni). But at the same time, I want to instill respect for elders and berbudi pekerti.

It's just so hard :(

Oh and by the way, kalau ada rezeki, we're planning to live in Japan someday. That way, we can be closer to both families, and yet, be away from both countries (cause we despise our countries so much haha!)

Eh membebel banyak Alia ni....kawen pon belum dah berangan nak anak.

Haha.

I'm not planning to have any kids right after marriage anyway. Masih mahu berenjoy enjoy dulu. Haha.

Knowledge seeking

Saya ada satu kawan ni, dia masih belajar, tapi bukan calang-calang orang, she's a brainiac and she's studying in Australia. I dunno lah what she's studying, aku bukan jenis nak jaga tepi kain orang (malas nak ambik tau sebenarnya). Dah lah pandai, on scholarship, bertudung, ayu, how can someone not respect her la kan.

So masa bulan puasa hari tu, we were chatting like normal lah, hi howwa u semua-semua tu lah. Then our conversation came down into her whining and whining..and whining on how pahala puasa dia kurang on that day.

I asked her "why?". And she said because she had to learn about the history of gods for paganism, christianity, mayan....in her history class.

So aku macam confused, so what? Takkan tu pon kau rasa boleh hilang pahala? I thought she was joking, aku gelak lah.

Tetiba dia emo lebih-lebih pulak "I HAVE BEEN FASTING AND PRAYING ALL DAY AND THAT STUPID PROFESSOR MADE MY PAHALA PUASA KURANG!!".

I mean what the fuck?

Biar betul? Kau nak ber-emo sebab you had to learn history IN YOUR HISTORY CLASS??

It's a different case lah kalau you're in KELAS AGAMA ISLAM and tiba-tiba professor tu suruh kau renounce Islam and masuk Christianity kan. Even if that's the case pon, it's entirely up to you, if you think you're drawing closer and iman lemah, then you've only got yourself to blame.

It's not like the prof was trying to impose those beliefs on you IN YOUR HISTORY CLASS. I'm pretty sure he was TEACHING you on THE HISTORY of gods according to those beliefs.

I don't get it at what point pahala puasa kau boleh kurang? Adakah you've felt that you want to succumb to those beliefs? If yes, then why are you blaming the professor? It's you yang berimankan lemah, and you want to blame it on someone else. Grow up lah.

Even if, what made you think it's a big sin when you're learning about other religions? Are you saying that you're a big bigot? You don't want to listen/learn about other cultures/religions because you're not apart of them.

Tutup telinga and jerit "NA NA NA NA I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG"

You're so...childish.

Learning about other religions and cultures doesn't necessarily deter you from what YOU BELIEVE. How is seeking knowledge a SIN??

I may not be an expert dalam rujukan agama, but at least I know that it's only a sin if you start menduakan tuhan. Syirik bukan?

Tapi kalau setakat nak meluaskan ilmu pengetahuan, takkan itu pon dosa?

I don't get you lah budak, you're bitching and whining about how pahala puasa kurang because you had to learn other religions in your class so that you can graduate and carik kerja halal, and yet, your favorite show is Gossip Girls.

Cerita cintan cintun cium sana sini party itu ini tak der pulak kau mengadu "PAHALA PUASA SAYA KURANG HARI NI".

Irony sungguh.

Kalau kau rasa berdosa sangat, baik kau drop saja History class tu. Balik Malaysia belajar sekolah pondok.

--
Of course lah I've said to her all these sebab I think she was blowing things out of propotions.

And despite her age and education, she's still a fucking kid; refused to listen to me.

NA NA NA I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG.

Whatever bitch, I've said what I wanted and it's up to you lah kau nak dengar ke tanak.

I no longer have the respect for you.

Insult

Woh, I spent like 3 jam depan laptop sebab nak letak komik-komik tu kat sidebar. Nak kaler lagi, nak edit lagi. Nak letak code lagi. Nak itu nak ini. Things would be much easier kalau aku ada photoshop dalam laptop ni. Nak kaler gambar website lain, nak letak text kat website lain, macam macam website aku pegi ok.

Secara ringkasnya, I'm a very resourceful person la.

Hahah!

I oso made my header tukar-tukar. Setiap kali refresh, tukar header lain. Yay! Ok lah, walaupon tak banyak choices (4 je!) but at least tak der lah bosan tengok header yang sama je kan. Cheh, macam lah korang tengok header je pon kan.

Content = everything.

Kosmetik kosmetik ni bonus je kan?

Eh lantak lah, my template makes up for the lack of substance dalam my contents (wah, cara cakap macam lah template ni cantik sangat haha).


Anyway, I appreciate all your comments on my Irony entry. Mula mula ingat nak reply, tapi macam dah jadi karangan PMR pulak, berjela-jela, baik aku terus summarize kan kat entry yang baru kan.

Tak sangka most of you feel the same way too, and tak sangka jugak I have silent readers. Haha.

I know I may sound ignorant dan selfish, tapi selama ni memang aku rasa aku sorang je yang sakit hati dengan orang-orang yang bermulut cabul macam tu. Maybe lah aku ni extra gebu dari most of you and tak selawa korang, sebab tu bila kena caci physically, terguris jugak lah hati.

I oso know jugak, there's no other way to deal with it selain daripada ignore. Lantak kau la labu kau nak cakap apa. Tapi I'm just a normal human being, born with perasaan. Dalam ignore ignore tu pon, kadang-kadang terasa jugak.

Tapi what to do, takkan aku nak tetiba lempang tamparan sakti kat diorng kot?

PANG! FEEL THAT BITCH! WAS THAT PAINFUL ENOUGH? WELL MAKE THAT 100x MORE WHEN YOU INSULTED ME.

Hahaha....ok saiko betul aku ni.

But betullah, I don't believe violence is the solution to all problems, tapi kalau aku tempeleng sekor, mesti lepas tu dia fikir 100 kali bila nak mengutuk aku kan. Hahahah

And plus, it gives me kepuasan macam makan nasik 4 dulang (haha apakah?)

I've also overheard (and being complained to) orang orang yang kurus ni kena kutuk.

"Kedingnya kauuu"

"Hoi bulimic patient! Meh sini!"

I mean what the fuck? That's another way of insulting jugak kau tak tau ke.

Serupa jugak kalau kau cakap

"Gemoknya kauuu"

"Hoi gemok! Meh sini!"

Bunyi kurang ajar kan??

Apa kau ingat diri kau tu perfect sangat ke sampai mulut tak der insurance?

I know mesti lepas ni ada manusia celaka akan fikir/komen "if you know you're fat, why don't you do something about it and stop complaining. It's all what fat people do, complain complain complain".

Well I've got one thing to tell you.... SCREW YOU.

You don't know kalau we've been eksersaising or not. You don't know kalau we've cut our carb intake or not. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHETHER WE HAVE MADE AN EFFORT OR NOT.

I can complain WHILE dieting. Mungkin sebelum aku start whining tu aku baru habis exercise. Kau tak tau kan. So I can retort your statement then you'd look like an idiot.

Mungkin jugak orang tu ada penyakit (bulimia, anorexia, excessive lemak) mana kau tau? Walaupon they've done so much to lose/gain weight, pastu tetiba ada nyamok spit that comment.

Tak ke sakit hati?

But that's not the point here, aku bukan marah sebab aku gemok atau kurus, aku marah sebab these people don't know how to communicate. Mulut laser.

You don't have the political correctness to talk to people.

Tak tau ke it's insulting kalau kau cakap macam tu? Regardless lah kalau kau gelak-gelak lepas tu and the victim pon gelak sekali. But that doesn't mean that we gelak sebab lawak kau kelakar. It means that wow it hurts but we don't want to elongate our discussion and I just want to move on to another subject and wow you're an idiot.

Paham?

Boleh imagine kalau kau cakap "u makan nasi 10 kali sehari ke uhuhuhuh" masa kau interview kerja? Kau rasa interviewer panel tu nak kasi kau kerja? It's INSULTING.

I don't get it kenapa kau rasa you can pull that so-called-joke outta your ass. And bukan nak cakap apa lah, tapi hanya orang yang tak berpelajaran je yang suka buat 'lawak' berunsurkan physical orang.

So are you saying that you're uneducated?

Haha, tetiba ada gambar ni. Ok apa, at least ada gambar untuk melegakan fikiran..haha..

PMSing lagi

This is another perasaan-membara post. I may sound like a complete bitch after all these bitching and whining entries, but takkan aku nak bernafas naga kat muka orang kan. I generally feel much better after venting it HERE (who doesn't lah kan).

A few days ago, I was chatting with one of my acquaintances (those yang sapa-menyapa only twice a year punya type). Everything was fine and dandy...until he mentioned about Don and I. I don't know lah whether he was being a dick or not, but he kept on saying stupid shit like "i bet arak dah bergelen-gelen minum, huhu", or "mesti mat salleh tu suka seks", or "mesti dia treat u mcm mistress dia je kan"

What the fuck.

I'm glad he thought it was funny...or maybe he said that in a 'joking' way so that he wouldn't appear too much of an asshole by saying that?

Why would people associate living outside of Malaysia and having a non-Malaysian boyfriend with drugs, liquor and sex? Apa kau ingat kapel kapel Melayu ni innocent sangat tak pernah minum semua semua tu?

Kau ingat kelab-kelab malam kat Malaysia tu tak der orang Melayu?

Excuse me.

It weren't his questions yang membuatkan aku sakit hati, aku tak makan cili, so aku tak terasa pedas lah, but what really gets me is that he blatantly blame on someone like me (yang berpartnerkan bukan Melayu). And also his lack of political correctness.

His whole point was that I'm the downfall of our society.

HA HA HA.

I've got no reason to hate atau benci atau menyampah to those people yang highly socialite, it's their choice lah nak buat apa, asal kau tak mabuk pastu langgar bontot kereta aku sudah.

But what I'm reallllyyy annoyed at is those people yang berlagak "alim", pura pura innocent, pretending not to know anything worldly. You keep on saying "Kau nak tau, si minah tu hari tu aku nampak dia minum...dah lah muka hodoh, pastu nak berlagak westernized, dosa!" sok sek sok sek.

Oo, kau tau minum tu dosa, tapi yang kau dok kutuk minah tu tak dosa? You're committing a sin too. Bodoh.

Tak boleh ke kau duduk diam je, kalau it's against the religion pon, tegur lah dia. Bukan kutuk belakang. Bodoh.

Hey screw you lah. You're one hypocritical bastard.

For all we know, you could be the biggest sinner belakang pintu.

I've received a few bad assumptions, because of him. Apa kau ingat just because he's a non-Malaysian, non-Muslim (yet) that makes him a bad man? You don't know him. You don't know whether he's a drinker or not. You don't know whether dia ni kaki seks bebas or hisap dadah or not. So what gives you the rights to judge him?

What gives you the right to compare him with our Malay guys then belittle him because of his race and religion?

Instead of be disgusted by the fact that he's a westerner ( di mana liquor and seks adalah the norm), how about you be disgusted by our people yang nak be westernized.

How's that for a change.

Stop hating on other races. Not all of them are bad.

Irony

I have accepted the fact that I have to deal with constant stares dari strangers no matter where I go. Chewah, dengar macam ayat berlagak, but trust me, ini bukan kes nak berlagak ke apa, cause I definitely KNOW why they stare.

I know it's not my kejelitaan nor my super model physique (batuk batuk), but instead, it's my RACE.

People over here kan berlagak AMERIKA NAMBER WAN but secara realitinya, majority of the masyarakat sini pon sekolah pon tak habis kan. They've never been OUTSIDE of their own country, sebab tu they have nothing to compare with. Balik balik Amerika. Balik balik Amerika.

Sebab tu bila aku cakap I'm from Malaysia, standard reply is "You speak Tagalog then?"

But if I don't say anything, they'd speculate that I'm from Mexico, pastu nak prektis cakap (possibly broken) Spanish that they learned in middle school.

Si. Si.

Hari tu I met a bunch of Vietnamese people yg dah tinggal sini half of their lives, asked me "how come you can speak English fluently considering you've only been here for a couple of months?" (gramatically corrected here).

Kalau boleh nak je aku cakap "how come you cannot speak English fluently if you've been living here for half of your life?"

Tapi di sebabkan mereka tanya dengan baik dan jujur, tak der la aku nak mengeji pulak kan.

But seriously lah, I noticed ramai je Asians/Spanish yang migrated here (or born, I dunno lah) English masih lemah. Why ah? Bukan English is a worldwide language ke? Lain lah kalau main language kat sini Afrikaan (eh, tetiba afrikaan kan).

Ok sebenarnya aku dah tersasar hala tuju, I wanted to write cerita lain, tapi jadi cerita lain haha.

Anywayyy, I know they stare at me possibly thinking "PIPOL LOOK. A SPANISH LADY WIF A WHITE MAN LOLZ".

I live in a redneck state, so population untuk Spanish adalah sangat nipis, kalau ada pon, most of them are criminals.

I've got jelingan hebat daripada younger girls (teenages kah kah kah). I dunno lah diorg meluat because I'm with a white man (their race) ataupon mereka dengki tengok tetek aku.

Haha!

Of couse lah Don akan menegakkan benang yang basah cakap they're not looking at me, but they're staring at him because he's so good looking people can't take their eyes off him.

Oh tolong lah. Bernanah telinga dengar ayat tu.

Kah kah kah!

Bukan sahaja kat sini I've got those deadly stares, kat Malaysia lagi teruk. Those people would actually jeling at you and sorok muka sambil kutuk dengan suara kuat. Kalau nak kutuk tolong lah perlahankan sikit suara tu. Kalau nak kutuk sampai anak tekak terkeluar, might as well just come up to me and SAY IT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

Boleh dapat tempeleng free sekali.

I've been called "perempuan tak sedar diri" by mat rempit yang duduk tepi jalan wasting his life away.

I've been called "perempuan macam ni lah yang merosakkan bangsa Melayu" by mat rempit yang possibly ada bohsia keliling pingang dan bermandikan liquor kenkonon nak berlagak 'western'.

I've been called "perempuan perasan lawa" because I'm not pretty dan gemok by skanky girls yang berpakaian macam Britney Spears tapi muka Jawa.

Excuse me?

Ada aku terlompat lompat jerit I AM SO AWESOME I AM SUPERIOR BECAUSE MY BF IS WHITE?

Ada aku jeling kat your partner dengan muka HAHA KAU DAPAT LAKI JAWA?

ADA?
ADA??

I don't talk shit about you why must you talk shit about me?

Just because I've settled for a different race doesn't mean that I've been running away from men yang berbangsa Melayu ni. It's just LELAKI MELAYU TANAK AKU.

They want Gisele Bundchen.

They want Adriana Lima.

They want Jessica Alba.

Ada pernah dengar diorg cakap "WOW QUEEN LATIFAH IS HOTNESS".

ADA? ADA??

They want something beyond their tahap. Potential candidate depan mata buat buat tak nampak because I'm huge, brown and short.

And those mat rempits fucking KNW this is true, still had the guts to say those shit to me? Adakah mereka dengki sebab tak dapat minah salleh/Brazilian (Bundchen, Lima, Alba) sebab tu this fat, stubby brown girl can't possibly has a bf?

For them, having a man that loves me, cares for me, sees me beautiful is something beyond my grasp.

Aku ni hodoh sangat ke.

It hurts them too much to see me happy.

I HAVE been attracted to local men, it's not like lahir-lahir je terus cakap "SCREW YOU MALAY MEN, I'M GOING FOR THE BIG BOYS"

Hahahah.....

Dah diorg rejek saya, takkan nak terhegeh-hegeh lagi?

True that I don't have much experience with local men, so it's not fair lah kalau aku cakap all Malay men pentingkan paras rupa. I know some are very the baik oneeee, very the gentleman oneee. So silalah jangan butthurt sangat.

Tapi dah jodoh saya dengan dia, what to do. (Wah, dah jodoh jodoh, kawen pon belum..haha!)

Ok nak main The Sims 3.

BAI!