Don... Y U SO FAR?!?! (entry panjang berjela, dan tak de gambar. Kalau tanak baca, tak payah la klik)

I know I've been lacking in the drawing department. Malas lah nak lukis. Walaupon lah lukisan macam tahi kerbau.

I know I haven't been updating about how I *truly* feel.
Because I know people only want to see pictures, or read comics. Lite lite reading je. I know cause I'm liddat oso.

But this is still a blog, di mana I luahkan isi hati jantung hempedu. I have no where to mengadu.
I don't need to mengadu pon, I just need somewhere I could vent.

Sigh.

I'm very tired. 

The truth is, I'm tired of carving a smile every time someone mentions LDR. I know I know, I've been in one for ages, I should be a professional LDR practitioner or something.

I give out advices on LDR all the time, but how often do people walk the talk?

I've tried, I'm trying and I will try to stay upbeat on everything, stay positive on life, tapi.......

They say time will heal. Cliche benor, idok nye heal heal pon.
Lagi sakit ada lah.

My heart is slowly breaking. Knowing that we're still half across the world from each other. Even after 10 years....

Selalunya kalau dah 10 tahun dalam relationship, orang dah beranak pinak anak 9 dah. Setiap tahun process sorang anak... haha.
Aku ni, still struggling in settling my life.

I want to buy a house, I want to buy my own car, I want to start a family, tapi I can't.
Not here.
Not yet.

I'm putting my life on halt, for 10 years.

I've received countless of comments, cakap "tu la, tak de orang Melayu/Malaysia dah ke" "sapa suruh cari jauh jauh", etc.

We fell in love.

I don't know how it happened, it just did.
He could have been living anywhere, and I'd still have fallen in love with him.
It's just an unfortunate thing that he lives across the world.

:(

People have doubted our relationship.
Even my own family members.

It hurts to think that my own blood pon pernah fikir we wouldn't last.
At times like this lah I need your support.

Tapi alhamdulillah, they've finally realized that he's not going anywhere.

But there are times when they jokingly want to play cupid, matchmaking me with some random dude, yang usually anak kepada kawan diorg or something.

I know lah they're only joking, so I'd usually laugh along and say no.
But do they know that deep inside, my heart is breaking, knowing that my family subtlety still thinks that he's not good for me? Walaupon lah it's just a joke....it still shows that there's that slightest bit of doubt still exists.

Maybelah because it seems that he's not here for me, where in fact, dia lah orang yang pertama who wishes me good morning, and the last person who wishes me good night.

But diorg tak nampak tu.
They can only see what's being shown in front of them.
.....the non-existence of his physical being.

Tapi tak pe la, I know they mean well, they don't want me to be left heartbroken if things doesn't work out.

If he wants to walk out on me, he would have done that 10 years ago.

Tapi tak tau la jugak kan, kot kot dia sengaja tunggu sampai 10 tahun semata mata nak dump me, point and laugh at me while saying "HAHA BITCH I'VE PLAYED YOU ALL ALONG".

Itu bukan manusia dah, itu kejam tahap datuk setan. Haha

haha ok lawak tak lawak di kala hati duka.

Anyway, point nya, aku tengah berhati kaca sekarang ni. Rasa nak mengobak kat dlm opis ni, tapi nanti hilang lah macho ai kan...haha.


Selalunya, aku je yang kasi tips untuk survive LDR kan, tapi this time, I'm asking to you my fellow friends, do you know how to mend a broken heart?

Wordless Wednesday: This is how we roll

 Ok tipu, tak de la wordless mana pon. Saja nak rasa jadi macho kejap bila blog bertitle "Wordless Wednesday".

Haha.

Anyway, tengah tengah bajet bizi on a Wednesday morning in the office...muncul la chatbox monyet ni.

Yang meghoh tu terpaksa di censored kan. Kalau tak mesti korang menggeletis kegelian. Hahahahahsjahsajshash

 I know.
We're so cool liddat.

/SMUG






 How much do I love this guy?
A LOT AND LOTS!

Ok tu je. Bai.

Haha, entry malas.

Video: You're my hero!

Hahahaha. Video random yang di record oleh yours truly.

It was 2 in the morning on a very cold night. Tetiba pulak lah binatang tu ada. Aku ni memang penakut sikit (eh, sikit ke?) I really don't like bugs, snakes, frogs, apa apa yg lembik lembik dan warna coklat/hitam.

Hahaha

Untung ada lelaki tinggi boleh capai siling. Kalau nak harapkan aku? Aku spray satu bilik dengan sampai habis sebotol. Haha

So anyway, saya nak menyelebrate 2013 bersama lelaki di dalam video itu!

Nite nite pipol.

kiss kiss.

Mari mengenang gambar gambar silam. LOL Tajuk bombastik.

This is going to another emonyet punya post. So if you don't want to be caught in between..sila lah focus ke keyboard anda.

Apa kena mengena dengan keyboard pon aku tak tau. Haha. Saikosis.

Anyway, I've been missing my tunang so much (it's still weird calling him that!). Tambahan pulak he's been down with a cold these past few days..so all he does is tido je. Kesian..I wish I could be a better tunang and take care of him.

Selalunya dia je yang takes care of me when I'm sick..now it's my turn la pulak kan.

Untuk melegakan hatiku yang sayu ini (chewahh!) I'm going to post some of his pictures yang lama lama tu. Some of you oredi seen the pictures, tanak tengok pon tak peee, namamu Dollah tetekmu sebelahhh. (motippp??)
 

2007 (kot?) Jacksonville, Florida

2008 Kuala Lumpur

Rambutku meghoohh menyalaaa masa ni. At that time I felt outstanding lah. Skrang ni, dah tua, aku rasa macam menyampah pulak ghambut kaler kaler ni.

Dunno whether it's just me or not (oklah, it's just me), but I think kulit aku masa dulu lagi itam berkilat dari sekarang. Mungkin jugak sekarang lemak tepu bertambah, so kulit stretch kot. Hahahahahahah logik budak 4 tahun.


2008 Muar, Johor

Kesian dia kena buli. I wanted to see how he'd look like kalau dia pakai spek. Tapi dia cakap "omg, pening lahh! Mata you ni rabun sangat!" hahahah ok tipu je, dia tak de komplen. Setakat kenyit kenyit mata pedih je.


Langkawi

Kesian pakcik ni masa ni. Sunburnt habis! Merah merah kulit dia. Hari hari ai tulung dia letak aloe vera tauuu awww hahahaha

 Subang Jaya

Damn. Hari hari kena buli! Naseb la kau labuuuu

Macam budak umur 11 tahun (tapi kaki penuh bulu kan??)

Masa ni dia kurus lagi. Jam pon jatuh. lol. Skarang jam tu dah ketatt uolss. Mak sokaaa!



Sunway Pyramid

2009 Kannapolis, North Carolina

Concord, North Carolina

Las Vegas, Nevada

Hm, kalau tengok betul betul..ketinggian kitaorg tak de la beza sangat kot! perfect match!
Hahahahahahahahahahah. Ok sila berangan Alia. Kau tu dah ketot buat cara ketot.

2012 Kannapolis, North Carolina. And these 2 are our latest pictures. Malas nak letak lagi. hahaha.

And before ada taik taik yang akan komen about my physical appearance...

 First of all, fuck you.

And second of all, aku rasa diri aku cun, and self confidence is seksi. That attracts ATTRACTIVE men. Kalau kau tak rasa perempuan tu cun walaupon she's so confident about herself, then you're not attractive. Sorry to burst your bubble.

LOL

Eh, I told you I'm emotional lately kannn. I'm excused. Haha.


Anyway, dulu aku tak de hodoh sangat kot masa dia mula mula kenal aku dulu...well I'd like to think so lah. Sebab dulu tak de la gendut gendut mcm ni sangat. Dulu ala ala sedap je. hahahahaahhah!!

Matiler puji diri sendiri


2002. Melaka.

Ni zaman dolu dolu when I first kenal Don. Please ignore the face and the hair. Masa tu aku baru nak berjinak jinak ke alam keperempuanan.

JHahahahahahaha.

 Ni ntah tahun bila ntah. Masa ni rasa diri mcm cun melecun lah. Siap posing posing bagai. homaigod. rasa nak lempang diri sendiri.

Btw, I made the duck face was before it was cool. Hahahaha

Ya, tu semua saya la tu. I've lost each individual pictures, naseb baik before that Don tolong compiled kan jadi mcm tu.

Masa ni dah ke arah kesetanan sikit la..dah pandai buat ekpresi ekspresi muka. Hahahahahhahaha. Tak de control control dahhh, Lantakk laaa orang nak cakap apa, hodoh ke, mcm beruk ke, tak ladylike ke...ada aku kesaahhh??



Anyway, it doesn't matter what others are saying. Kalau aku fikir I'm pretty cun melecun hot stuff, ada ke kena mengena dengan kauu keee? Haa..tak de kan..so duduk diam diam kat situ.

Here you go....

Only for you, you random disgustingly sick person!

Hateful

Hamik kau, update 3 kali dlm sehari serentak.

Ni la nama dia sifat rajin telah kembali.

Anyway, I wanted to reply to all of hateful comments yg pernah dapat, tapi its either dah terjawab, or backed up by my awesome readers (You!).

Aku pon tak paham kenapa orang nak comment penuh dengan perasaan dengki, kalau tak suka tu, tak payah la baca. Yang kau bersungguh sungguh sampai nak komen bagai tu kenapa?

Sebenarnya kau suka aku kan...tapi malu nak cakap. So kau nyorok belakang "anonymous" kan? Ala ala macam budak tadika....suka kacau kacau perempuan tu..padahal dalam hati ada taman.

Umur pon dah separuh abad, tak payah nak berperangaikan kebudak budakkan. Kalau suka cakap je la suka. Nanti ai kasi biskut chipsmore ok?

kiss kiss.

Tak paham aku orang macam ni. For me, kalau aku tak suka baca blog orang tu, aku tutup je. Tak kuasa la pulak aku nak click "comment" pastu kena spend time untuk type pulakkk.

They don't deserve my energry and time.

Wahh. Spiking kau. Kelaaaass.

Anyway, sebenarnya aku tanak la blog marah marah macam ni (eh, marah ke?). Ai just nak blog hepi hepi stuff je.

So mari la kita berkawan balik yek?

kiss kiss lagi.

Replying an overdue comment

So I was feeling particularly rajin and was reading my old blog entries.
And I found this lovely comment from a reader.

She (well I'm assuming that's a she considering the name) had a point in her comment, but I never got the chance to reply to her.

So here's to you deann.

The black fatty ugly creature from the sea. I even took the liberty to add awesome teyteks since I have an awesome pair.