Eh.
Bukan aku la yang kena saman/tangkap tu.
Aku ni rakyat marhaen saja.
My tahap menyalak tu tak sampai viral trending twitter bagai.
Anywaaaays
Speaking of viral post, teringat satu post on FB hari tu about someone wrote something about her married life.
I know I've talked about marriage in my previous post, but this is a continuation on that.
I don't remember much about the post, because I think I stopped reading when she mentioned she felt guilty bila nampak laki dia pegang penyapu.
Aduh adik.
You're either too young to understand partnership, or too naive to think that ALL house chores are your responsibilities and only yours.
Oklah, maybe she meant something completely different sebab salah aku tak baca habis, so kalau her post tak de kena mengena, ahkak mintak maap ya. But I want to talk about that part where she mentioned about her guilt.
Ni mentality manusia (not necessary just Malaysians, Americans pun sama) that I really disagree, the men are expected to do NOTHING in helping out in the kitchen/house chores. Maybelah setakat buang sampah or fix here and there. Tapi kalau bab bab sapu sampah, basuh baju, gosok baju, masak, basuh pinggan, kemas rumah, etc, semua expect bini yang buat.
This reminds me of another viral post that someone on my FB shared. This one ostad or at least his fan page buat comparison on what you should teach/expose your kids to, depending on their gender.
Yang lelaki dia di suruhnya instill leadership qualities where the girls di suruhnya cover up and don't dress up like a man.
Yang lelaki di suruhnya buat kerja luar, outdoor where the girls di suruhnya buat kerja rumah.
Yang lelaki di suruhnya elakkan beli mainan "perempuan" (pinggan mangkuk, dolls, pakaian, etc) and the girls di suruhnya elakkan beli mainan "lelaki" (senapang, robot, kereta, etc)
Yang lelaki di suruhhnya buat international passport for them to venture out, while the girls di suruhnya ajar memasak, hias, dan kemas rumah, jaga anak, jahit, etc.
What the fuck.
There are so many wrongs in this table I don't know where to begin.
This is sexist, misogynistic, and regressive. This is the epitome of subjugation and people who believe this kind of bullshit are the reason why women are still deemed inferior to men.
No, I'm not a feminist, but I believe that you SHOULD NOT only teach your kids based on their gender. This is gender biased and is a form of prejudice and discrimination. You should teach your kids BOTH roles and excel at EVERYTHING. Give them the opportunities. Expose them to everything and don't stop stop there. If your boy wants to play dress up, then let him. If your girl wants to play with robots, then let her.
Kalau you have no problems with his statement, then you should not bitch if you're a woman and you get less pay than your male colleagues in the same role, performance and experience. Or if you're holding a leadership position, then drop out, you're a woman, you're not a leader.
Kalau you have no problems with his statement, then you should not bitch if you're a man and you get lash out for being a PA or secretary or even a nurse just because you're a male.
The moment you allow gender to play a part, you become part of the problem.
So back to what this ostad/fan page was saying. The males get all the opportunities they can while let the females sit and home and be domestic. Pemikiran macam ni la kenapa Malaysia masih mundur because we still subjugate our women.
Lelaki jadi bos. Perempuan jadi hamba abdi.
Fuck you and your misogynistic mind.
Betul betul. Sokong. Walaupon i tak tau ape benda yg viral (not viral enough to reach my page anyway...) I memang tak ada masalah bagi anak i main masak-masak or tengok youtube pasal dolls etc. To me, anak lelaki yang comfortable doing all that lebih I respect, build higher self-esteem, jadi all rounder, etc. Kalau kecik kecik dah asing, memanglah dah besar jadi unreliable...
ReplyDeleteI read what she wrote. And i read her fb page too just for the sake of knowing dia ni betoi ka walk her talk ke apa haha.
ReplyDeleteBila aku went thru her postings, what i can conclude adalah dia ni memang ada rasa terhutang budi kat laki dia, and all she did tu mcm nak repay the kindness of her husband la.
But in real world, semua pasangan pada aku kena ada rasa tanggungjawab, yang tak boleh bersandarkan pada jantina semata-mata. Macam aku pompuan, tanggungjawab aku basuh pinggan, hang laki tak payah. Eh mana boleh sebab dua2 jantina makan pakai pinggan kan? Hahaha.
Laki aku tak reti masak, tapi dia tak cerewet makan sebab sedar diri dahla tak reti jangan tambah menyusahkan bini haha. Aku tak reti tukar bulb, tapi aku takdela mengangkang tengok tv time laki buat keja. Aku dok tepi tolong hulur-hulur tools ka apa ka.
Pendek kata reti ke tak, kalau ko tu kindhearted, betanggungjawab, isu gender ni tara hal lah. Tak tumbuh tetek pun kalau laki menyapu, tak tumbuh teloq pun kalau pompuan potong pokok. Haa there u go. Haha.
Where is the LIKE button is was needed?? The last paragraph of your comment, is so much win! Oh alia, I totally agree with your opinion. I always told my husband, even before we are married "u kerja, i pun kerja..penat sama2, so house chores pun kena buat sama2. I tak nak penat2 buat house chores sorang2, unless if u are working on my off days". And I'm gonna make sure my kids will do same things too.
Deletealia.....this is so true ...salute :)
ReplyDeleteOnce I commented on a post sebab tak agree with that table. A so called family member hentam kaw2.. Telling me it's wrong for me to buy masak2 toys for my son. Telling me I should not expose my son too much with house chores especially masak2. Sakit hatiku..
ReplyDeletesalam Alia,
ReplyDeletePlease note that orang kita suka melampau lampu and creative to decree an edict to hiding the mask of ugama.
Orang msia ni sebab mereka have it easy and good they ended up become arrogant wben talking about ugama. Had they be abroad and lives live normally, then baru tahu reality.
perhaps msia beri keutamaan pada ugama kita, mereka mereka ni, suka berlagak I'm holier than thou.
malu aja.
patut lah lelaki melahyu perangai ,macam cibab.. pemalas bih leih
I’m a feminist and luckily I am married to one as well. Kalau tak, dah lama kena campak keluar. Hahahaha. For me, I cook because I want to eat good food not because I have to serve my husband. I would cook even when I am alone.
ReplyDeleteI’m also glad that despite being fairly religious, my parents raised their son with the same chores as their daughters. My brother had to sidai/lipat kain, masak lunch/dinner, basuh pinggan, etc. Tak jadi perempuan pun my brother walaupun tahu masak, menjahit, dan kemas rumah. Whether or not he would keep up with all those when he got married, well, I hope so. But some cultural expectations can run deep in people's psyche without them being aware of it. Hmmm...
Sometime, it feels like that some of these women who subscribe to the extreme view of women’s role in a marriage tend to be those in the place of privilege—they either have helps (from maids, family members, or other resources), or they have romantic ideas about housework because they are clueless about what that entails since they have never really done it before (occasional chores doesn’t count). I bet those that truly love to do house chores would be in the minority: I know they exist but I have yet to meet them.
As a passionate feminist, I understand the struggle for striving for equal opportunity. Every now and then, I need to be reminded that just because change doesn’t happen overnight—and sometimes it even regresses—that does not mean I should be discouraged. You don’t know whose life you could have changed. Once a person tastes freedom (or be made aware of it), it’s hard to go back to previous state or to being ignorant.
I cant brain that article!!!
ReplyDeleteLaki pegang penyapu tu aku perasan. Bagi aku, itu bajet2 seorang isteri yg sweet tahapa dewa dewi. Realitinya hanya tuhan je yg tahu. Yg pasal pembahagian cara didikan tu aku pun tak setuju. Mcm kaedah pendidikan Afghanistan era kegemilangan taliban.
ReplyDeletePerkenalkan, saya dari tim kumpulbagi. Saya ingin tau, apakah kiranya anda berencana untuk mengoleksi files menggunakan hosting yang baru?
ReplyDeleteJika ya, silahkan kunjungi website kami www.kumpulbagi.com atau www.facebook.com/kumpulbagi/ untuk info selengkapnya.
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