PET PEEVES (angry post)

My Facebook pet peeves. I think I've blogged about this a long time ago, and I could have just dug it out, but ain't nobody got time for that.




ONE
Constant updates about your baby - "Waking up to this precious doll smiling" or "I'm sharing this video of baby KWSPWDPAPDHF (or whatever initials that you've decided to give to your child because you think it's hip) and I just think s/he is so cute!"

Well no shit. It's your fucking baby. Of course you think it's cute. Your child could be looking like a fucking gorilla and you'd still think it's cute and cuddly. 

Ok I'm not being fair. I'd feel the same too if I had a child. Even if my kid looks horrifying, I'd still love him/her/it unconditionally.

Besides, my child would look adorable as fuck, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, I have a friend in my list that changes her profile picture every day to pictures of her daughter. 

I've decided to unfollow her so I won't have to deal with the pain from rolling my eyes too hard. 

TWO

Newfound hidayah - Oh my fucking god. This annoys me to the core. Usually happens to newlywed individuals. 

I usually have no problems if they've found their true calling. but to talk about it (read: brag) constantly on your timeline?! Constantly sharing shit like quoted Quran verses, or videos of your favorite ostad talking about what not to do in your bedroom, or nagging about how you've seen someone that you know dressed up with her cleavage showing....... just fucking stop it.

I'm not a shit person that would bring a straw man argument about how you were as sinful as someone can be in your "previous" life, but I just wish you would stop and evaluate your life now. 

Stop judging others just because you've "changed". 

Just because you're now donning your tudungs and abayas doesn't give you the rights to be a shitlord towards others. 

And also, it makes me think that the only reason why you're now the epitome of a Muslim zombie (someone who believes whatever their ostad tells them) is because of your husband. 

And now I hate your husband.

But who cares what I think. Because you're not gonna be in my life any longer if you don't stop this shit. PEACE OUT. 

THREE

Excessive use of Google translate/Bragging about your ability - I don't know how to start with this one.....I have a friend on FB that speaks multiple languages. I had a feeling that she was bullshitting but I shrugged it off. I reassured myself that she really does speak all of those languages and I was amazed on how good this girl was!

All of her posts were in different languages. It was cute at first, but then it got really annoying. Whenever I commented on her post, she'd reply in multiple languages. 

Like what the fuck?

I don't fucking speak Swedish, or Hungarian, or Polish, or any other languages apart from Malay and English for that matter. So why in the hell would you talk to me in other languages that I don't understand?! So it got to the point where I just think she was bragging about her ability to speak multiple languages. 

Well maybe it just annoys me because I'm jealous. 

I still keep her in my list because she's never done anything that I'd consider harmful to me, just as long as I don't comment anything on her shit. 

I found out later from other people that she's been using google translate. 

Ok so I take it back. It annoys me NOT because I'm jealous. 

It annoys me because using google translate just to appear "well versed" is just annoying as fuck. 

FOUR

Chain letters - Boy oh boy. Ever since I was in high school until now. This just never ends does it. 

"Forward this if you love (insert whatever religious deity here) "

"97% of Facebook users won't repost this"

"Share if you care. Or keep scrolling if you're a cold heartless shithead"

Well I guess I'm a cold heartless shithead then, so fuck you. I win.

FIVE

Constantly uploading pictures of your exercising "achievements" - I put quotes on the word achievement cause I personally don't think running for 40mins on your treadmill is a great achievement. 

But to each their own I guess.

It's just, don't go crazy on uploading pictures of the timer on your equipment and captions it "managed to run for 20mins/3492904783853023472 hours today."

We don't care. 

Unless if it's a picture of you slamming your face on the treadmill, then heck yeah. Upload that shit. That's comedy material. 

Everybody loves comedy. 

SIX

Islamic "warriors" - These are the type of people that preach about halal haram on however they deem fit. (nitpicking shitlords)

Well, mostly about haram.

Haram to be seen in a church. Haram to read about this and that. Haram to look at a cross. Haram to touch a bible. Haram to touch a non-muslim. Haram to touch dogs. etc etc.

Most even go to the extend of spewing death threats like it's nothing serious.

It's just baffling to me on how the same set of people can preach about hate and violence and get away scot free. NOBODY will question their morality, as long as they play the religion card. 

And whenever someone with intelligence (ehem, me) questions their motives, whoopeedoo, now you're a murtad. 

This is when I draw the line and disassociate myself as fast as I can from them.
Cause, fuck these people.

SEVEN

Movie/Show spoilers - Congratulations, you've seen the movie. Here, have a big round of FUCK YOU.

EIGHT

Sharing shit without checking the credentials - FUCKING. SNOPES. IT. SHITHEADS.

What's the use of the internet if you don't know how to fucking use it?! How about you utilize Google to find some legit knowledge instead of googling for "Malay 3gp" or "bahan melancap"??????

NINE

Attention craving selfies - Someone who uploads a flattering picture (mostly semi-boobs/ass shot) of themselves and captions it "ugly/forever single/nobody wants to bang this hashtag fat"

Hey fuckface, if you think you're ugly, then you wouldn't be uploading that boobs/ass picture of yours would you?

I had to remove my husband's niece from my list cause I was soooo close of commenting "Yeah you're ugly" on one of her many selfies. Don't wanna be burning bridges now. At least not yet. 

TEN

Posting vague shit -

"I don't think I can handle this anymore..."

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it on Facebook, it's personal"

Then don't fucking talk about it on facebook asshole!!

ELEVEN

Pre-informing us that they will upload something tomorrow/8 months from now/18392784378263 years from now -

I have a friend that constantly reminding us that she will be uploading a picture of herself at a later time.

LIKE WHO GIVES A FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

IF YOU WANNA UPLOAD IT THEN FUCKING UPLOAD IT ALREADY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO INFORM US WAYYYY BEFORE AS IF WE NEED TO STOP OUR DAILY ROUTINES JUST TO LOOK AT YOUR GODDAMN PICTURE!!

AARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

TWELVE

Ostad Azhar Idrus - I don't like him. AT ALL. I will hide/unfollow/unfriend/do whatever means necessary to whoever in my list that shares his shit. 

THIRTEEN

The most annoying shit so far, when someone replies to my comment with this line:

"tak payah la nak menunjuk-nunjuk guna bahasa inggeris. kata orang melayu, naik kan la martabat bahasa kita ... tak reti cakap bm ke?"

Hoi babi guling. Cakap je la yang kau tak paham English! Tak payah susah-susah nak bagi alasan "menaikkan martabat bahasa Melayu" bagai!!

ARGHHH OK BAI.