It hurts

I'm tired of having to answer questions/statements macam

"Tak kesian ke your parents when you move there?"
"Tak sedih ke your family?"
"So kau nak tinggalkan your family ke ni?"
"Sanggup kau nak berjauhan dari your friends and family ye?
"Kalau aku jadi kau, aku sanggup duduk berjauhan dengan husband, asalkan aku dekat dengan parents"

etc

First of all, I know you mean well, but tolong berhenti tanya soalan macam tu boleh?

YOU have NO IDEA how HARD it is for me.

I'M the one who has to make the ultimate sacrifice, I'M the one yang kena pindah, I'M the one yang have to move away.

I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DECIDE.

Everything falls on MY shoulders, so just imagine how I would feel right now

Bila fikir nak berjauhan dengan my family, mak dan apak, every part of me is crushed. Remuk.
Bila fikir nak kena start my life from scratch, tak de kerja, tak de kawan, different cultures, I get so scared.
I don't know anyone else there, selain dari Don and his family. Aku cuma boleh berharapkan pertolongan diorg.
Aku tak de tempat nak lari malam malam kalau nak merajuk. Selalunya aku lari bawah ketiak mak, tapi kat sana aku nak lari bawah ketiak sapa pulak? Pak itam sebelah rumah? Haha..

I am scared shitless, tapi aku tabahkan hati jugak.
Because I want to be with my husband.
Aku nak jugak merasa bina family sendiri.
Aku nak merasa beli perabot rumah dengan suami sendiri.
Aku nak lepak kat balkoni, minum hot chocolate, sambil gossip dengan suami sendiri.

If I could stay here and be with my family forever, I would.
But I couldn't.
He couldn't.

Kalau dia pindah sini, dia nak kerja apa? Jadi mascot McDonald's?

Couple lain yang pindah dari Kelantan ke KL sebab ikut husband, tak de pulak kau nak judge dia kan?
Then sama jugak la kes aku ni; aku pindah sebab nak ikut husband.

So please stop making me feel like I'm a heartless bitch; tak de perasaan sebab sanggup tinggalkan my loved ones behind.

I'm so devastated beyond relief having to leave my family behind, but at the same time, I'm so excited to be with my husband.

I love both my family and my husband so much it hurts.

And this is my decision, and I know I'm making the right one. 

Spread my wings and fly

To all my friends,

I wish to inform you that tuan tanah blog ini will officially migrate to negara Amerika bulan April 2014 ini.

After those long hard years of separation, it is time for us to settle down and start a new chapter of our lives.

Faith, patience and trust brought us here. Lets to never forget these are the pillars of our relationship; if we could withstand the vast distance (15742.082 KM to be exact), we are definitely ready for anything else.

We have built a strong foundation, now let's go and build our own little family.

And we will have a remarkable story to tell to our children.

COMIC: When mak tries to be hip....

See more of Mak's attempts to be "hip":
Lelaki Berpanau
Touch N Go
Mak and Technology
Mak and Technology (again)