It hurts

I'm tired of having to answer questions/statements macam

"Tak kesian ke your parents when you move there?"
"Tak sedih ke your family?"
"So kau nak tinggalkan your family ke ni?"
"Sanggup kau nak berjauhan dari your friends and family ye?
"Kalau aku jadi kau, aku sanggup duduk berjauhan dengan husband, asalkan aku dekat dengan parents"

etc

First of all, I know you mean well, but tolong berhenti tanya soalan macam tu boleh?

YOU have NO IDEA how HARD it is for me.

I'M the one who has to make the ultimate sacrifice, I'M the one yang kena pindah, I'M the one yang have to move away.

I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DECIDE.

Everything falls on MY shoulders, so just imagine how I would feel right now

Bila fikir nak berjauhan dengan my family, mak dan apak, every part of me is crushed. Remuk.
Bila fikir nak kena start my life from scratch, tak de kerja, tak de kawan, different cultures, I get so scared.
I don't know anyone else there, selain dari Don and his family. Aku cuma boleh berharapkan pertolongan diorg.
Aku tak de tempat nak lari malam malam kalau nak merajuk. Selalunya aku lari bawah ketiak mak, tapi kat sana aku nak lari bawah ketiak sapa pulak? Pak itam sebelah rumah? Haha..

I am scared shitless, tapi aku tabahkan hati jugak.
Because I want to be with my husband.
Aku nak jugak merasa bina family sendiri.
Aku nak merasa beli perabot rumah dengan suami sendiri.
Aku nak lepak kat balkoni, minum hot chocolate, sambil gossip dengan suami sendiri.

If I could stay here and be with my family forever, I would.
But I couldn't.
He couldn't.

Kalau dia pindah sini, dia nak kerja apa? Jadi mascot McDonald's?

Couple lain yang pindah dari Kelantan ke KL sebab ikut husband, tak de pulak kau nak judge dia kan?
Then sama jugak la kes aku ni; aku pindah sebab nak ikut husband.

So please stop making me feel like I'm a heartless bitch; tak de perasaan sebab sanggup tinggalkan my loved ones behind.

I'm so devastated beyond relief having to leave my family behind, but at the same time, I'm so excited to be with my husband.

I love both my family and my husband so much it hurts.

And this is my decision, and I know I'm making the right one. 

Spread my wings and fly

To all my friends,

I wish to inform you that tuan tanah blog ini will officially migrate to negara Amerika bulan April 2014 ini.

After those long hard years of separation, it is time for us to settle down and start a new chapter of our lives.

Faith, patience and trust brought us here. Lets to never forget these are the pillars of our relationship; if we could withstand the vast distance (15742.082 KM to be exact), we are definitely ready for anything else.

We have built a strong foundation, now let's go and build our own little family.

And we will have a remarkable story to tell to our children.

COMIC: When mak tries to be hip....

See more of Mak's attempts to be "hip":
Lelaki Berpanau
Touch N Go
Mak and Technology
Mak and Technology (again)

COMIC: KUANG SENG

Hahahahaha!!
My sister calls SENGKUANG = KUANG SENG! 

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

But seriously, it's a miracle that my aunt boleh dapat tangkap apa adik aku was trying to say.

I really thought she was referring to a Chinese vegetable yg aku tak pernah tau!




btw, it was a radish.  >_>

Alia rants again. It's a rantful Thursday.

I'm so bad at keeping promises. I know I promised a whole lot of you that I'll update my blog, tapi sampai kesudah tak de updates ye tak.

Anyway, hari ni aku nak menaga.

Aku ada sorang kawan ni, orangnya bertudung, cantik, ayu, cakap pun lemah lembut, petite, so nampak luarannya macam sweet sweet girl gitu.

Tapi sekali dia update status dalam FB....aku rasa nak delete dia dalam hidup aku (haha dramatis tak).
Dia suka tulis isu isu racism, provokasi, and hateful.

Kawan kawan dia yang selalu komen pun satu species.

Mula mula dulu aku buat dek je, tapi makin lama makin sakit hati (dan sakit mata).

Orang macam ni la aku panggil hipokrit.

Cerita pasal agama pung pang pung pang, tapi very racist!
Tak ke agak kelakar kat situ?

I thought Islam taught you to be humble and understanding?
Kau share article article dari ustaz itu la ini lah, kasi nasihat agama kat orang lah, tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........


---------

Aku perasan these self-claimed pious people are so violent, dari segi perwatakkan dan perbuatan.
Banyak kali aku nampak dalam timeline, how people would threaten someone for saying/doing the most stupid shit.

Contoh macam kes that woman and her dogs. I admit, I don't know the whole story (nor care to dwell further) tapi we've got these keyboard warriors yang kononnya mempertahankan agama (coz apparently she insulted the religion) fucking threatened to kill her?!?!?!

What the fuck is wrong with you!?

You claimed that she insulted your religion (of peace. OHH THE IRONY) and that gave you the rights to take someone's life?!?!?

Who the fuck do you think you are?? God??

I'm so fucking tired having to explain to my non-muslims friends on WHY MUSLIMS ARE SO VIOLENT (upon the smallest issue!) that they're just protecting the religion.

How fucking stupid does that sound?

Here you are, talking about bashing someone's head on the pavement because her view differs from yours.
She wasn't hurting anyone physically, she didn't hurt your family, she didn't hurt you, she didn't make your life miserable, she didn't get you fired or having something taken away from you, then why the fuck would you threaten her??


--------

Also, my dear friends and family, even if Islam says that dogs are najis/unclean (not haram), that doesn't mean you can treat them bad! That doesn't mean you have to be abusive towards them! That doesn't mean that you can't help them when they're in trouble ie. about to drown! Please have a little mercy

I've got cousins that are so....I should say, hateful towards dogs. And I just don't know how to educate them that dogs aren't objects that you can simply kick or throw around.

They've mingled with stupid people and became, well, stupid.
They don't even bother to study or do a little research first.

Look, it's a different matter if you're afraid of dogs, cause you know, some ARE scary, but I've got no beef with you if you try to stay away from them and not do anything harmful ie: run over them with your car


Dogs are usually friendly and curious creature and just want to sniff you.
Unless if they come running towards you barking with a mouth full of dripping saliva. That just means that they're crazy and possibly have rabies. lol

If that happens, THEN you run. haha

Cute dog wants to be patted

Rabid dog wants to kill you

I might be seeking professional help

Oh gosh, lama gila tak update blog.
Tetiba pulak hari ni terasa nak update.

Sebenarnya, banyak benda dah berlaku ke atas diri beta ini (chewaahh, masih lagi beranggapan diri sendiri berdarjat tinggi hahah)

Eh which got me thinking, kalau aku sukahati gelar diri sendiri "beta" dlm blog sendiri, nanti kena saman ke? Hahaha..mana tau, isu isu sentitip ni amat sensitip dengan isu sentitip

Anyways, the reason why I stopped writing was because banyak sangat benda berlaku sampai tak tau apa nak update dulu. Last last terus tak update. Hahahahah

Betul la.

Even sekarang pun aku tak der point nak tulis, padahal dah set dalam otak nak cerita pasal recent trip (which was not so recent dah).
Sebab bila start type dlm blog je, terus ...hilang.

During those hiatus months, satu blog pun aku tak jenguk.
Aku tak tau napa aku ada this ugly attitude...I mean bila tiba mood malas nak update blog, blog sendiri pun rasa disgusted nak bukak.

Seriously, masa tu la rasa mcm "ewwwwwwwww kenapa aku ada blog", "kenapa blog aku buruk sangat" "kenapa contents blog aku mcm sampah" kenapa kenapa kenapa

Terus aku tak bukak langsung.

Blog orang lain pun aku tak baca. Sebab aku rasa kenapa aku perlu baca life orang lain yang dah semestinya lagi best dari life aku.

Hahah....sebab bila aku baca how happy your marriage is, or how beautiful your wedding was, or how awesome your kid's birthday party was.....aku rasa mcm useless person.

Lagi sakit hati kalau baca orang tu pergi travel sana sini, makan steak 2 kg ke (haha!), celebrate your 4th anniversary with your husband......you know stuff that I don't get to do.

So aku rasa mcm kenapa aku nak dwell dgn perasan iri hati aku ni when I can just stop reading?

Hahahahahaha ye aku memang saikosis!

Then a couple of months later, baru kebosanan melanda.....and the makcik kepoh inside me is screaming .....I need my daily intake of gossips and I need to read about other people's lives!!

Hahahahahahahaha

Alia is saikosis.


The End.
ahahah sebenarnya entry tak de point tapi sebab kemaruk nak type panjang panjang. hahaha

.

To Kathy

This has been a rough week for his family.
His aunt collapsed last Friday while she was packing her car to visit her daughter and grandchildren in Florida. She was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with double aneurysm in her brain and one of them had burst. It kept on bleeding and she couldn't make it...She passed away yesterday at 9:50am EST (10:50pm Malaysian time). She was only 54.

Aunt Kathy was one of the people whom I adore dearly, despite of only knowing her for a short while. I first met her during my first visit to America, when she visited to North Carolina from Florida after her husband died.

Even though I was a stranger in their home, she never made me feel like one. She made me feel like I was already part of the family. And the last time I saw her was last November 2012....I have never thought that would be the last....

I really feel so helpless because I never know the exact words what to say to their family, especially to his mom. Mom was so close to her sister, her best friend.

You don't know how many times I've picked up the phone trying to call her, but I always stopped when I was about to hit "dial". What would I say? What can I do? I'm literally half way across the world from them, and I can't hug them.

I've never been good with words, how am I going to console someone who's in grief? I'm afraid they'd be the one consoling me instead! haha...

But I know mom will be okay, she has all of her family members to support her (including me who's so far away!).



Rest In Peace Aunt Kathy.
Thank you for everything.



Btw, Don is doing okay. He kept on telling me that it's okay for me to cry, cause he heard me chocked up many times. Eh dia pulak yang nak console kita. Patutnya kita yang console dia! haha saikosis.

COMIC: Apak strikes again

 When suddenly....

omg. I swear to God bapak aku boleh kasi aku sakit jantung. 

Aku ingat ada emergency apa, ada orang meninggal ke, AirAsia tiba tiba bankrupt ke...

Rupa rupanya terkejut sebab baru tau dia tak dapat undi utk General Election 2013.
Yang tak tahan tu, muka serious sedih gila bila dapat tau yang dia tak dapat undi. LOL

My dad wants to make a difference.

How about you?

*hahaha ending politik, kau hado?*

Random: Kawen = Kahwin?

Hahahah babik. Dia pulak yang betulkan ejaan aku.

Videos: Random videos recorded at Angkor Wat, Cambodia

IT WAS SCORCHING HOT!! Felt as if I was at Sahara's desert.

Not that I've been there...

But holy craaaappp it was superrrrrrrr hotttt

Being on a tuk tuk was the only thing that calmed my rage due to the hotness of the sun. It cooled my pits.

LOLOL

How it was like in Ta Prohm! (and looking at Taylor's butt) Babi tau dia ni. 

SIEM REAP CAMBODIA. ALL THE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW. (DAY 3 & DAY 4)

A continuation from This Post and warning. MASSIVE PICTURES (of my face LOL)


Day 3 - Angkor Wat (and other wats)
We had to get up as early as 4:30 in the morning!!

Why?

Because we had to queue for the entrance ticket just to catch the sunrise @ Angkor Wat!

Oh before that, we rented a tuk tuk from our hotel (together with the driver) for the whole day for $20 (usually it only costs $15, but since we wanted to see the sunrise, it's an additional $5bucks).

We reached the gate by 5:30 am and people were already queuing!

Wat.
Sorry, it was too early for me too see such large crowd.

Entrance Fee:
1 Day = $20
2 Days = $40
3 Day = $40 (I think it's the same amount of $40 if you're getting the 3-day tour)


We opted for the 1 day pass since the next morning was our flight home.

They took a picture of us for each pass.

I was super annoyed at the entrance guard hence muka tonyok. Hahaha

Remember when I said Cambodians are really friendly?
Well I didn't mean these people who work by the gate!

They were rude!

I mean how the fuck should we know that we gotta stand at one corner for our pictures to be taken and they could have at least inform us that it's gonna take a bit for them to return our (money) balance.

A little goes along the way.

Probably they were annoyed at the many tourists at such ungodly hours.

But they should know,

tourists = money for the country = money for you.

We're your money card.

Anywayysssss,
There are several check points that they would stop us and check our passes.


And finally we reached Angkor Wat!

Tips on what to bring if you're going to Angkor Wat:

1. WATER. LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER.
2. A hat
3. Sunglasses
4. A pocket fan
5. A map/book about the history (unless if you're with a tour guide then this is not really necessary)

And which I didn't bring any of that!
Well except for water. oh and a fan.


Expect a lot of people though. Considering people only go to Cambodia just to see these wonderful wats (which means temple btw in case if you're wondering)

I TOLD YOU! PEOPLE ARE LIKE FLIES ON A DUNG! LOL

The majestic Angkor Wat

Add caption

I was already sweating like a pig by 6:30am cause well, my sweat glands are like factories in China, never stopped working LOL.

Please wear soemthing comfortable as if you're gonna take a hike. I saw lots of (mostly Japanese) women wore dresses, mini skirts, high heels with pantyhose and some other WTF outfits.

I get it. You wanna look cute/adorable/WTF, but omg!

Urghh, they made me so uncomfortable just by looking at them!

Anyway, here are some pictures of us in Angkor Wat.

yes yes yes
I make the same stereotype pose whenever I go to countries with temples.
I need to learn some more varieties!

We were there at Angkor Wat for God knows how many hours just because Taylor refused to go.
Mau je aku tolak orang putih sorang ni dalam tasik tu. Lembab gila!
haha..emo pulak.

 


We FINALLY moved on to another temple!

Duduk dalam tuk tuk boleh mengepakkan tangan and let angin mengeringkan ketiak. HAHAHA

Taken on the bridge to the South Gate

South Gate

Taken on the bridge overlooking the river

Bayon

Bayon has always been fascinating.

There are about 200 large faces carved on the 54 towers.

You don't really see the faces from here, but they're there.

Outside pavement

Side view of the ruins. I don't know why I took a picture of that couple. Sebok je.

I look super tiny. Hehehehehehehehe mak soka.

Find Taylor!

It was funny cause Nanie wanted to climb this as well, but just by looking at Taylor, who was struggling to get up there....terus tak jadi. LOLOLOL

It was super hilarious on the many actions that he did just to reach the top....aku tak sampai hati nak describe kat sini.

hahahahahaha

Taking a pic by the "stairs". These are the same stairs that Taylor had to climb. And they're not  like your everyday stairs, they're so steep, and no feet placement! 

On the bridge to Bapoun

Bapoun

One thing to take note if you're going to Bapoun.
This temple is still being used by monks.
So if you're wearing a tank top, or shorts, make sure you bring along something to cover up (ie: a long shawl to that's enough to cover your whole body)

I don't know why I couldn't remember this part (considering I always bring my scarf) so I couldn't go in :(

Since I couldn't enter, all I could do was take pictures from the outside.
Booooo me!

But thank you Nanie for accompanying me while waiting for T to "climb" up there! ahaahahah

Tapi kurang aja kaann?? Hahahahahah

Moving on.....

Elephant Terrace, which is connected to Leper King Terrace..which is on the other side. It's a LONGGGGGGGG terrance

At about 11am, we were hungry, annoyed and sweating like a bunch of coal miners, so we've decided to head back to find some food and catch some Zzz.

----

We convened at around 4pm feeling all freshen up and shit. lol.

Since our hotel is just about 10mins tuk tuk ride from Angkor's entrance, it was really convenient for us to just go back and forth. 

So the first temple we visited that evening was Banteay Kdei.

Don't ask me how to pronounce it. 

There were not many people around, not sure whether it was because of the time or people weren't interested to see. 

I had a love-hate relationship when there were not many ppl around.

Love - the fact that there weren't a lot of ppl around (duh)

Hate - when there are not a lot of ppl around, the locals tend to push for their "unofficial" tour guide "service" and that means you gotta tip them.

What really fascinate me about these temples is their intricate design all over the walls. 

Afterwards, we moved on to Ta Prohm. One of my favorites. 

A long (lonely) road to Ta Prohm

Ta Prohm. Tree roots and the stone walls are intertwined. 

They were doing some major restoration for this temple, and I was trying so hard not to take a picture where you could see their construction pillars, nets and all that lol.

Entrance to Ta Prohm. (or the exit for us since we went from the opposite way)

Chilling while we were literally chasing the sun to catch the sunset

Ta Keo. We didn't get to explore this cause we were rushing!

Barely made it! We didn't get to go up to the hill where we were supposed to go. So our driver took us to the bridge instead. Quick thinking Adik Drebar!

And that's the end of our Angkor Wat tour!

It was really tiring and no wonder some people even took their time to spread out their visits on a longer time span!

It's a HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEE compound! 

-------

As for our dinner, we've made a prior reservation at Angkor Mondial (I'd suggest you NOT to go) for our dinner + Apsara cultural dance show for $12 per person.

Food was blergh. It was buffet style.

Dance performance was good though.

But food was blerghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And the atmosphere was noisy as hell! 

It has been a long day and it was the time for us to catch our good night sleep cause we gotta get up early for our flight home!

Day 4 - Welcome Home Alia!

A little outskirt of the town. Away from the bustling city and whatnot. Enroute to the airport

Their common means of transportation

GOODBYE CAMBODIA! Nice knowing you!