COMIC: American guy and Swedish guy

LOL

These lines came from Don. 

He got the spontaneous idea (and I REALLY MEAN SPONTANEOUS!) while watching a game show where a European man was being interviewed. He (the guy) sounded as if he was struggling just to pronounce stuff.

One of Don's many sides...

It's 5:21am and I'm awake.

I have no life. I knowwwwww

Anyhowwww, lemme bore you with one of Don's genius speeches lol...

His lengthy speech is not only applicable to Amerikah...it applies to every nation, every individual. 

And yes, not only that he's hilariously funny, he is also a very boring old man.

LOLOLOLOLOL

I lap you lah monyet!

What the hell is this??

On a fine Monday afternoon.....

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? A MASSIVE BLACK HOLE ON MY SCREEN!!!!!

...only turns out that the "Massive black hole" is my friend's nostrils...
He get on cam and the only thing I see is him picking his nose in front of the webcam. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Yeah. I have crazy friends.

LOLOL

Random: Alia and Don on Facebook

Yeah...we're crazy like that. Aren't we awesome!! LOL!

The Legend of Ikan Tapah and how I'm so awesome LOL

I'm sure many of you Malaysians have heard about Mitos Ikan Tapah (translation: The Myth of Wallago) on how this one whole family bloodline is FORBIDDEN to eat this fish. 

I don't really know the whole story but I'm gonna try it anyway..

LAGENDA IKAN TAPAH...simplified by Alia. LOL

Yeah, it's gonna suck, you know it.

There was this one man, named Pak Kaduk, hailed from Siak, Indonesia, migrated to Malaysia. He was a very charismatic man I'm sure cause he managed to gathered a bunch of people and eventually created a neighborhood and I assume he was the chief as well.

So anyway, there was also this power-hungry Sultan whom had set his eyes on the village. He wanted the land so he can satisfy his greed. Pretty much like our politicians nowadays. No difference there.

Anyhow, since Pak Kaduk was a proud man, he never succumb to the Sultan's offer(s), thus made the Sultan very pissed off. LOL

But the Sultan was a cunning man...he knew Pak Kaduk loved to gamble (gamecock) so he made a deal with Pak Kaduk to put the village on the stake. 

"Sure" Pak Kaduk confidently said as his cock was the mightiest of all. (LOLOL sorry, it sounded dirty)

To cut the story short, Pak Kaduk lost because the Sultan switched their cocks while Pak Kaduk wasn't looking. So the village fell into the Sultan's hands. 

Pak Kaduk left shamefully and sat in a small hut besides Sungai Perak (Perak river) regretted about his stupid action. 

His train-of-regrets was halted because his beloved cat found a fish on the shore. The fish was still alive even with its bloated stomach.

Curious as his cat, he cut open the fish and wow he found a block of gold. And the fish was STILL alive even after its stomach was cut open. 

What a fish!

So he sew the fish back together and swore to the fish that none of his bloodline family can ever ever ever ever ever eat the fish and whoever did, will have to suffer from skin abnormalities/rashes/whatever. considering the fish just saved his ass (with the gold). 

And he was serious about the skin abnormalities too, none of the modern doctors, witches or shamans can fix it. The only thing that can heal the skin condition is to dunk the gold into a glass of water and the water will  magically boil and shit, then you have to drink the water.

The End.

LOLOLOL

Yeah ok, I know my story telling sucks, but who cares. I get my point across. 

But the reason why I'm telling you this is because Pak Kaduk was somewhere in my family tree. Though I am the result of a mixed marriage (meaning my mom isn't from the family line), but I still have the possibility of getting the curse. 

Anyhow, I really don't believe all of these cause I'm not superstitious and I personally think this is just another made up bedtime story. 

I mean c'mon lahh, what is the probability of a fish swallows a pot of gold?! And BE ALIVE AFTER YOU CUT IT? And you personally think the cat would call you if it sees FREE FOOD?? ALL CATS WOULD HAVE JUST EAT THE DAMN FISH RIGHT AWAY. And possibly choke to death since the fish had a block of gold la kan. LOL

The Fish

Anyway, I've drank the gold water, and it tasted like shit, no kidding. They kept the goddamn gold inside a huge clay pot and it was just so fricking dirty and urghh.

Back to my story, so 2 days ago, while celebrating Eid Adha with my mom's family, they served Wallago (Ikan Tapah) and they were like "Alia, I don't think you can eat this fish..." but they weren't too sure about the myth as well, eventhough my aunt on my dad's side had a severe skin rashes AFTER she ate the fish and was healed IMMEDIATELY after she drank the water.

That could be just coincidence and she has major allergy to the fish or something.

Anyway, I'm not saying that my family is a bunch of superstitious people cause even they weren't so sure whether to believe it or not. And my grandma was like "How about you eat it then tell us if you notice something develops on your body.." in a very serious way!! LOL I guess everybody was curious whether it's really true or not!

But it has never been proven scientifically and seriously no explanations and shit. 

Even if we look it into the religious context, one isn't supposed to gamble, and the fish is just another God given gift for us human to stay alive.

What I'm trying to say here is that, I ate the "forbidden" fish. I'm alive! 

Except that now my armpits are so fucking itchy. LOL

I have red lines on my pits that are so fucking sore and sensitive. Probably because I've been scratching it like motherfucker. 

Definitely not my body cause my boobsies are bigger. LOLOL!!

Anyhow, I'm not saying this is the result of my ignorance, it's just probably because I haven't clean them well or I'm allergic to the deodorant or I've been sweating too much since I joined aerobics classes everyday.

But this could be a great story to pass on to my children one day.

"Mamma have been cursed by the Wallago fish!!! SO BEWARE!!! DON'T EAT THE FISH! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE HALF ALIVE AND DESPERATELY NEED FOOD!!!!"

Shit

 

There were sparks came from the ceiling fan!!!!

How fucking scary was that!??!?!!?

My little sis said, the only think she could mutter was "I don't wanna die..I don't wanna die.."

LOL...

OKlah, it's only funny NOW...we were scared shitless!

Well, I was more pissed off than scared, cause it literally fried my newly bought router..there goes my RM300....

And I had both of my computers on lol (yes I know, it was my fault /SLAPS HEAD) and thank Goddddddddd nothing happens to my babies! 

...just the router.

URGH.

My dad's pride and joy (his humongous HDTV) wouldn't turn on in the first place....I was panicking like there was no tomorrow!!! I mean not even my whole year salary could afford that TV!!!

But the TV's fine...just Astro that's fucked up. 

URGH.

Anyhow, I've learned my lesson today, EXPENSIVE STUFF CAN WITHSTAND LIGHTNING STRIKES. 

LOL.

p/s: Need to buy surge protector for the WHOLE house now. THIS IS A MUST!!!!
p/ss: I've decided to upgrade my internet bandwidth...dapat new wireless router+modem LOL. Yeah, downgraded from Cisco to Riger.



Well, lightning never strikes twice in the same place.

Alia says THANKSSSSS!!!

This is a short update to thank all of you for your support on voting my friend based on this entry

I'm gonna make her say thanks to you personally!! hahahaha...

read more here / English version

(I know I know, I'm just too lazy to copy and paste..baik screen capture je kan..hahah..bijak kan!!)

Now she's Orang Kaya Baru (transliterate into: New Rich Person LOL), she owes us credits! 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Yea well, Don's family helped too! 

Anyhow, Naji, since you ARE GOING TO READ THIS ENTRY CAUSE I'M GONNA FORCE YOU TO READ LOL, 

YAYYYYY YOU WON!!! Now I can proudly say I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS A MODEL!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Alia needs you

[INSERT CHEESY ROMANTIC SONG HERE]

I found this while rummaging through my flash drive...

Ally

I've come to treasure, the times we share.

My heart fills with happiness, to know that you care.

Even though we are so distant, I feel you close to me.

We often speak of sweet love, and things that will someday be.

As the days go by, I feel our love grow stronger. 

I can talk to you for days, and still want it to go on longer. 

I wish that I could see your smile, and feel your gentle touch.

Instead of typing across the miles, I just want to hold you so much.

But til then I'll sit here knowing, that you'll always be mine.

I will sit here every day, waiting for you to come "online".

Forever yours,
Don W. Miller II

.....A poem that he wrote to me years and years ago :(

UWAAAAAAAAA *nangis mcm orang gila*

WHO IS THAT HANDSOME BOY???

HEY CUTE KID

HEY ADORABLE KID

HEY LOOK AT THE KID IN THE MIDDLE. HANDSOME!

Ok I know you've seen all these pictures before, but whoo caressss I love them! I wish I could have stole more pictures while I was there...but his mom keeps all the photo albums in her room!!!

It's his birthday on the 12th Dec....I don't know what to give him....any suggestion?? He loves electronics and gadgets and all, but I don't have the money lol. I wanted to buy him games, but hes got all of them already. 

O WAIT.

I think I know what would be the perfect birthday gift for him....MYSELF BEING SHIPPED OVER TO AMERIKAHH!!!!

YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok.

Whateva.

Sila lempang.

So yeah, I'm serious about suggestions. 

COMIC: I'm stupefied.

Fix that shit, KTM.

What a disgrace.

Another update for today. I'm feeling generous today. LOL

This update is long due, tapi aku amatlah busy (malas actually haha)

So here you go,

THE BEAUTIFICATION OF ALIA'S HAGRID'S HAIR

(cheh, cakap macamlah skrang terus transformed jadi Agyness Deyn kan..haha)

So this is how I looked like when I permed my hair (had the hair for only a week at most) haha..I know I haven't shown the world sebab it was such a bitch having to deal with frizziness (motip nak tunjuk kat duniaaaa?? haha)

THE CAUSE

Perm damages your hair, no kiddin. 

It really burns your hair to the core. Not sure if it still has the same effect if you have virgin hair, but since mine isn't a virgin anymore (LOL), it literally KILLED my hair. 

Fuckin hairdresser. He should have told me!

This was RIGHT after I showered.

IT WAS STILL HALF WET and it looked like I've already put my hair inside a microwave and dried it!

 Some people said I looked good with my hair like this cause it suits my personality, I'm flattered, really, but I'm not sure whether it was also a subtle hint of sarcasm saying that I'm a mess or not!

Messy hair = messy me?

Err...nevermind.

Dry joke (pun intended), whatevaaa.

THE SOLUTION (first trial)

I hated my permed hair, and wanted to get rid of it.

So I cut ALL the perm off.

Sorry, blurry picture.

I wanted to cut it shorter than this, but I guess the hairdresser (another hairdresser) suggested that I don't look good with short hair cause I have a round face.

I know this, but I was hoping he could have tailored the hair for my face you know...but he's a noob, so I don't blame him.

...somewhat.

Still his fault.

LOL

Now tell me, CAN YOU LIVE WHEN YOUR HAIR IS SOOOO BRITTLE LIKE THAT??!

It looked as if you put a recently hairdried pubic and put it on your head, no kidding.

I hated it.

HATED IT!!!

BEAUTIFY ATTEMPT - FAILED!!!

THE SOLUTION OF ALL SOLUTIONS (eh, macam banyak je kan..haha)

CUT EVERYTHING OFF.

CHOP IT ALL OFF.

I HAVE THE GUTS TO CHOP IT OFF. YES. I KNOW THANK YOU.

I AM TYPING IN CAPS CAUSE I AM SO PISSED OFF SEBAB TEPAT PUKUL 5PM, INTERNET CONGESTED. MOTHERFUCKER.

SEMUA ORANG NAK BUKAK FACEBOOK KAN.

BABI.

Anyway, I'm not gonna put another picture of my current hair sebab I don't have any picture. lol.

This haircut works for me. Plus, I NO LONGER HAVE SHITTY HAIR! YAY!!!!

Something totally unrelated...these are just some pictures in my camera yang aku tak pernah upload mana-mana...

Some of my doodles dalam buku conteng....

 Motherfucker, blur jugak ke

I dunno, just random doodles, tak de kena mengena dengan apa apa pon. Felt like uploading them. Ntah kenapa.

Whatever.

Something to ease my mind kot.

I hate slow connections.

Alia bitches: Why we need to overspend?

Too long.

Too long since I last updated this blog.

I've been too busy being such a workaholic geek, I've got no time for recreation. No joke. 

Alia?? Workaholic????? 

Ajaib! 

I amazed myself. 

Anyhow, what does it take for a girl to get married haaa?? 

Oh wait. Yeah, money.

=/

Though I'm not gonna blow all the money that I have (which is pretty much nothing) for a one-day reception, but aku seorang yang berjimat cermat, despite of my craving for shopping. 

Seriously, what is the logic that someone WANTS/NEEDS to spend thousands of ringgit for a wedding and terpaksa berhutang sana sini?? 

I mean take this situation for an example, 

Abu managed to save RM15k (at the point of marriage) to start a new life with soon-to-be-wife. He was gonna use the money to provide a shelter for both of them, feed themselves, pay the utilities and so on and so on for the first 2-3 months after being married. Surviving on a RM15k for 2 is possible (more than enough la kot) for the first few months provided that he has a job la kan, that keeps adding figures into his bank account.

But, in order to get married to the love of his life, it's HIS JOB (or expected to) to woo her family with an extravagant wedding reception and sekali gus menghanguskan his savings and worst, he has to TOP THAT 15K because c'mon lah, wedding apa setakat RM15k je kan? 

Now he's left with 2 choices: 

1. Berhutang duit (or budi, if ada orang nak sponsor )
2. Wait for another year/few more years

I know I'm going no where with my situational example cause I suck at this, but my point is, he has to live in a shitty life either paying off his debts or still saving up JUST to get married, which has the possibility of him/her getting tired of waiting and eventually go on separate ways.

And kalau dia tak cukup duit, nanti si bakal family in law pulak akan cakap "kalau nak kawen pon tak der duit, macam mana nak tanggung anak aku??"

Hello pakcik, memang lah takkan cukup kalau dalam satu hari boleh burn RM15k! Kalau ada 100K sekali pon, forever takkan cukup, because you want a grand wedding kan? You want to show to the world that your daughter is in the hands on a rich man kan? You want to have the wedding of the century kan?

WHAT IS THE USE?!

Seriously, kenapa nak belanja banyak sangat for a ceremony that only lasts A DAY and suffer (with debts and whatnot) for eternity - or at least until the debts are cleared off?!

Though I am a woman, and I like pretty things and yes, I too, want a beautiful wedding cause you can only have 1 first wedding in your life, but I don't have to be stupid not to think about OUR future.

I'm sorry but selalunya the brides (and her family) yang over over nak itu ini on the wedding day.

I GET IT. YOU WANT A WEDDING TO BE REMEMBERED.

Wait, lemme rephrase that, YOU WANT A WEDDING SO THAT PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER.

Stop bullshitting yourself saying that you want their blessings and all. Bullshit. 

So you're saying that people WON'T bless you if you have a very simple nikah ceremony?? And they will ONLY bless you if you feed them a 6-courser, provide them a red carpet to walk on, fresh flowers everywhere and the most expensive door gift anyone could ever cater for?

Just say it, you want people to acknowledge that you have a grand wedding. YOU LIVE ON COMPLIMENTS. 

I'm sorry but sometimes our culture (on unnecessary expenditure) get mixed into this. And sometimes it's not even our culture to begin with, but I'm not gonna dwell on that.

I have a few friends (and family) tersepit dengan hutang piutang because of this. Though I love them to bits, but I gotta say, it was THEIR fault to begin with, too stupid to even think about the consequences. 

The reason why I'm bitching is because part of me is a bit butthurt cause I'm still not married, but it's also mostly because I am reminding myself NOT TO BE STUPID like the rest of them.

You can bash me all you want, you know I'm right.

STICKY POST: Happy Birthday Sayangku~

// ALIA:  I'm making this as a sticky post, cause I can, and I want to, and also, it's not an everyday thing that my boyfriend hacks into my blog account and makes an entry FOR ME! I love him so muchoooo! <3 <3 <3 

And oh, new entry would be BELOW this post! This post has top priority now :p

Entry by Don(Awesome).




I'm not good at drawing so I used photoshop =D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KURA-KURA SAYA <3








P.S. I love you =)

My friend is trying to secure a modeling contract and she needs your help!

Since I'm lacking in the updating department (HAHAHA VERY LAZY YOU KNOWWW) plus, got no time mehhh.

I've been so fricking busy lately I have no time to even berak. I'm always on the run! Tapi tak kurus kurus.

Damn.

Anyhow, speaking about kurus, I'm helping a friend here, and she's my high school friend, one of the longest and closest friends I've ever had! We've had up and downs but we remain friends til now!

I know I know, we're so awesome.

LOL

Anyhow, she's currently in the running of becoming BizzyBody's Ambassador search!! I know right!! How cool is that!!

BizzyBody amatlah mahal. I kenot afford for even half a session. LOL

Back to her...she lost 11KGs in total!!! I can't even get rid 0.5kg.....T_T

Yes, I purposely made it huge cause I have always been kinda skeptical about losing weight through Beauty Parlor (Hahaha what do you call those agencies ahh??), I mean sure there are ads about people lost so much weight that you see on billboard la kan, but stillll, for all you know they could be lying motherfuckers!

But not when it happened to the people that YOU KNOW!!

THEN you know it's true cause your family/friend won't bullshit to your face!!

Anyhow, the reason why I'm writing this is not to boast about how cool BizzyBody is, they don't pay me to do that LOLOLOL, I AM HERE, pleading for YOUR help!

Yes pipol! 

I need your help in helping my friend!

I mean even if you don't like me, then you should just bypass and forget about me! SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP in voting for her!!

 Gorgeous isn't she???

You just need to "LIKE" her picture in Facebook!! THAT'S IT! 

NAZILA NEEDS YOUR VOTE! (LINK)

It only takes 2 minutes (OR LESS!) of your time!!

You're doing her a huge favor by voting for her! I know she deserves your vote for all of the effort that she put! It's not easy to lose a lot of weight you know....

THANK YOU ALLL YOU ARE THE BEST!!

p/s: Would you vote for me too IF I lost weight and entered a contest as well??

p/ss: No? YOU SUCK!

HAHAHAHA

Ok emo sensorang. Whatevaaa.

Don's Halloween and Why I hate People, so fricking much.

ORAIT!!

Continuation from yesterday's post!
I am sooo sad I wasn't there for Halloween!
I don't mind playing dress up!! Really!! I've had my first Halloween and I enjoyed every sec of it!
Tapikan, agak celaka jugaklah nak pakai makeup bertepek tepek atas muka...not to mention having to roll around on the ground untuk efek homeless lagi...

I'd prefer pakai ready-made costume je..main sarung jeee...pastu tak payah tepek bedak haha...best siot. MUKA ADALAH SESUCI MURNI

Hahaha...

Anywayyyyy, pictures stolen from Mommy Miller's FB:

Aku tak tau apa yang dia cuba lakukan...

Tapi agak kelakar sebab tengkuk tak der kalerrrrr. Kira muka dia je la yang ada efek rotting flesh kan...hahahaha....

Orait, whateva, kenot cakap lebih lebih, nanti dia mengamok :p

I think he used my shirt (that I wore during last year's Halloween!!!) hehehe, recycle ya cik abe???

Hahaha, tapi seriously, memula aku ingat dia posed as orang hitam la kan (LOLOL), sebab cam quality tak nampak blood/wound details...hahahahahahaah!!

Don and his Brother

So Bobby recently moved back to his parents house sebab dia bercerai (lol "cerai") dengan gf dia.
It would have been fun if I was around! Cause I like Bobby! He's like a big brother to me that I've never had! (eh, memang aku tak pernah ada abang pon kannnn, saikosis betul)

LOLOLOLOL

This is a picture of a random kid yang pergi Trick or Treating.
Bila aku nampak gambar ni, I was thinking "wtf is this suppose to be lah", rupanya LADY GAGA.

LOLOLOLOL
Like waddehel!!
That is the most horrible "costume" I've ever seen! Well if you even categorize it as a "costume". Kesian budak ni weh! What kind of parents lah!

But thinking about it....LADY GAGA as a HALLOWEEN costume!! HAHAAHAH.
Yeah I get it now, she's as scary as an old gypsy woman.

Bobby, Don and Jimmy!

Heheheh, Don adalah yang paling terhensem antara 3...hahahahahahahah.
Ok whateva, I may be biased, but it's true whaaaaattt.
Even if I was a stranger, I'd think he's the hensemest oneeee.

Awww, look at that face....comel walaupon urghhh geli nak peganggg

It's even more cuter cause Mom put "Donnie is zombied out cause he's missing his girlfriend, Alia!"

Anyhow, that's all la kot. Hahaha
Ada banyak lagi gambar, tapi FB dah kena blocked kat opis ni (tepat pukul 8:30am), celaka kan?




Oh speaking about FB...omgggg, pls laaaahhh I fucking hate statuses yang berunsurkan vague vague ni!! This is from a friend punya status:

"Tinggal lagi 2 hari....."

2 DAYS FOR WHAT YOU SONNABABITCH??!

2 hari lagi kau nak beranak ke?
Kau nak mampos ke??
Kau finally dapat berak ke?!
Kau nak berhenti kerja ke??

WHAT?!

I mean throughout the whole fucking week, she had that kind of status lah,

"Saya nak pergi dah ni...doakan saya ye.."

"Terima kasih kepada sesiapa yang bertanya..."

"Tadi ada orang bertanyakan khabarku...terharu...akanku ingati dirinya sampai bila bila..."

"Terasa tenangnya hati ni memikirkan perjalananku nanti..."

Of course lah aku pon curiouskan..minah ni nak pergi mana, apasal status dia lately mcm ni, not trying to think about the worst, I asked her nak pergi haji ke? Cause that is moreeee logik la kan!

Pastu boleh tak dia reply:

"adela...rahsia...hehe, tapi Haji inshallah nanti"

MOTHERFUCKER!

Obviously she's not dying. THEN WHY THE INFORMATION HOLD UP!?!?

I mean dah la letak status status macam tu, meaning dia nak ORANG BERTANYAKAN KHABAR la kan, then bila orang dah tanya, "adelah...rahsia..."

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!

SCREW YOU, YOU ARE OFF MY WALL.

God, people piss me off sometimes. (eh sometimes ke Alia?)