Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I'm answering your question

I don't even know why I bother to write this entry. Cause it's really none of everyone else's business and the fact that I've already divulged more of my private affairs online should be enough for you lot.

But considering there are a handful of my friends got into a fight to the point of deleting each other from their list warranted me to butt in.

As some of you know, I was supposed to nikah back in Malaysia after I get my visa parole which usually would only take about 3 months maximum. But we hit a curb in the process so had to delay. And we've decided to perform our nikah here in the US.

I don't know how the hell (or "why" would be the correct question) some of you even had the decency to badly ASSUME anything about my marriage. Sure I don't talk much about my whole marriage thingymagic online (cukup la my family saja yg tau of the details) but that doesn't mean you should assume shit outta your ass and kawan kawan yg the last time we talked was in high school tetiba je cakap:

"As a Muslim, I'm concerned for my sister in the same religion".
"Aku dah tanya ostad dan mmg nikah Alia tak sah." 
"Aku tak nak Alia diselubungi dosa"


What kind of details did you give your ostad?
Where did you get the details?
Cause I certainly didn't tell you.

So what does mean?

What does make you?

So does that make me LESS than you?
You are worse.
You carry the sins of a fitnah.

How the hell did you know that my nikah was invalid?
Because your ostad told you so? After you fed him with some bullshit facts (or none in fact)

If your ostad made a judgement call without all of the facts presented to him...then...I dunno why you'd still look up to him.

Because my imam that officiated my nikah certainly would not officiate it IF none of the requirements for syarak was met.

An imam. Checked.
Surat perwakilan Wali from my dad. Checked.
Mas kawen. Checked.
2 Male Muslim Witnesses. Checked.

So please lah. Lain kali kalau nak tuduh sembarangan, please make sure you've got all of the facts rights.

I've got friends that came up to me and ASKED me personally, instead of depending on someone else who knew as much as you did in the first place.

Aku tak paham, kenapa nak gadoh just because you didn't know the whole story?

I don't mind if someone comes up to me and asks. I don't bite. But to publicly humiliate me, then you deserve NONE of my forgiveness.

What makes YOU THINK you're better than me?
Kenkonon nak memperjuangkan sisters sesama Islam.
Kenkonon you "care" about my well being.

Please la. Sebenarnya kau busybody kan?

I wish I would have taken some pics of the ceremony so I can shove it to your face. Tapi there were only 5 of us there there (us, imam and 2 witnesses) it was awkward.

Dah enough. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Mari la kita memblog tentang happy happy stuff ya!


  1. Alia

    I feel you. I was in the same boat, and alhamdulillah, my marriage yang takde songket or tukar baju 10 kali tu, dah nak masuk 12 tahun dah pon.

    People talk. Yes. Even I had a friend who called a radio station, and spoke to an ustaz on-air about my marriage. Boleh tak ? Kekononnya she tidor tak lena, because I didnt kawin dekat Malaysia.

    For all I care and I know, my marriage was exactly like yours. Imam, and etc etc. And I did not have a gambar nikah at the masjid, because of the same reasons as yours. Plus, agak menghormati pihak sebelah sana.

    Congratulations of your marriage. Be happy, always !

    - kak rini -

  2. sabar alia.

    Sesetengah orang percaya 100% kat ostad dia tp Quran tak mo buka dan terus nak buat assumption.

    Jangan risau, asalkan dah cukup rukun biaq pi depa la nak kata apa kan?

    Be happy. (^-^)v

  3. alia,

    congratssss! i am so happy for you.

  4. Gawd. kepochi gila.

    Aku selalu pelik dengan manusia yang takde inisiatif nak pakai button PM or email kalau hati tu dah menggeletis sangat nak busybody (kok ye pun kan).

    common sense zero!

    anyway, congrats alia! <3

  5. apa ke bodoh nye diorang ni. cukup syarat nikah maka sah lah nikah tu. kejadahnya sbb tak buat dkt malaysia jadi tak sah..eeee!! jgn jumud sgt boleh tak

  6. "Dah enough. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Mari la kita memblog tentang happy happy stuff ya!"

    ok this is taken directly frm ur entry.. will i be reading abt babies ondewei.. woot woot..


  7. Hi Alia,

    I experienced the same here, I didn't get married in Malaysia, but we did get all the docs ready from Malaysia, and yeah, it is really awkward to take pic during the nikah as there are only few of us. Hence, no photos of our nikah day.

    No doubt, some people back home are too judgemental towards a mix marriage couple, as I always get the vibes, sarcasm, remarks etc. It is sad :(

    But don't worry, just do things that makes you happy and as long as you know you didn't do anything wrong that is enough. I always tell myself, I don't have to justify everything i do just to please everyone else :D


  8. Pening ar dgn kepochi2 camtu. Yg penting rukun nikah dipenuhi sudahh and happily married. Yippi!. Tahniah alia.

  9. Hi. I too had an aunt who married overseas with a British gentleman. They didn't live the muslim lives afterwards but when he died, my mom told me they hired someone to manage his funeral according to muslim ways. It was not until last year did I watch a documentary on a family of muslims who manages muslim funerals. One customer was much like my late uncle's. My point is, we may not know it but there are plenty of Muslims overseas who operate things the Islam way. The west isn't as west as portrayed on tv and Malaysia is not as Asian as it seems, plenty of western things and unislamic ways as far as I see. Let the pak andeh and mak ande terjun dgn labu2nya

  10. Yg penting udoh nikah ye dopp kesah pulak kannnn.

    Yesss i pun nak baca happy2 stuff je. :D :D

  11. We are living in a world where anyone can wear a jubah and a kopiah and call themselves ustaz .. plucking hukum from god knows where without any good sources. Like u saidla .. its none of their business. As long as u have fulfilled the requirements, the nikah is valid. Stay positive sis and congratulations on ur nikah xxx

  12. congrats!

    p/s : you're gonna look so much cuter and better with some decent blouse btw. eh tak pernah tengok rasanya.

  13. ok lawak... klu macam tu lh tafsiran ostad tu, maksudnya semua org islam kat dunia ni hanya boleh kawen kat Malaysia... xleh kawen kat negara masing-masing sbb hanya kadhi kat Malaysia je yang boleh nikahkan org... gitu ke?.. adoii lah....

    aku paling benci kalau org guna alasan "sebagai saudara sesama islam"... part kepoh ni ko pandai plak sedara... part lain-lain part aku susah xnak jadi sedara plak... hahaha

    neway congrats... :)

  14. nikah kat malaysia je yg komplikated yg amat prses and prosedurnye. ikot islam, as long as syarat and rukun nikah are fulfilled, we cant question the validity (except if doubt arises). but in your case surat kebenaran wali from your dad pon dh ada. anyway...i wish a blessed marriage with ur hubby. nnt ada reception kt msia or us tak? pos pic byk2 k..i suka tgk inter racial marriage..nk2 yg cross continents..


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