Monday, April 20, 2015

PET PEEVES (angry post)


My Facebook pet peeves. I think I've blogged about this a long time ago, and I could have just dug it out, but ain't nobody got time for that.




ONE
Constant updates about your baby - "Waking up to this precious doll smiling" or "I'm sharing this video of baby KWSPWDPAPDHF (or whatever initials that you've decided to give to your child because you think it's hip) and I just think s/he is so cute!"


Well no shit. It's your fucking baby. Of course you think it's cute. Your child could be looking like a fucking gorilla and you'd still think it's cute and cuddly. 

Ok I'm not being fair. I'd feel the same too if I had a child. Even if my kid looks horrifying, I'd still love him/her/it unconditionally.

Besides, my child would look adorable as fuck, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, I have a friend in my list that changes her profile picture every day to pictures of her daughter. 

I've decided to unfollow her so I won't have to deal with the pain from rolling my eyes too hard. 



TWO
Newfound hidayah - Oh my fucking god. This annoys me to the core. Usually happens to newlywed individuals. 

I usually have no problems if they've found their true calling. but to talk about it (read: brag) constantly on your timeline?! Constantly sharing shit like quoted Quran verses, or videos of your favorite ostad talking about what not to do in your bedroom, or nagging about how you've seen someone that you know dressed up with her cleavage showing....... just fucking stop it.

I'm not a shit person that would bring a straw man argument about how you were as sinful as someone can be in your "previous" life, but I just wish you would stop and evaluate your life now. 

Stop judging others just because you've "changed". 

Just because you're now donning your tudungs and abayas doesn't give you the rights to be a shitlord towards others. 

And also, it makes me think that the only reason why you're now the epitome of a Muslim zombie (someone who believes whatever their ostad tells them) is because of your husband. 

And now I hate your husband.

But who cares what I think. Because you're not gonna be in my life any longer if you don't stop this shit. PEACE OUT. 



THREE
Excessive use of Google translate/Bragging about your ability - I don't know how to start with this one.....I have a friend on FB that speaks multiple languages. I had a feeling that she was bullshitting but I shrugged it off. I reassured myself that she really does speak all of those languages and I was amazed on how good this girl was!

All of her posts were in different languages. It was cute at first, but then it got really annoying. Whenever I commented on her post, she'd reply in multiple languages. 

Like what the fuck?

I don't fucking speak Swedish, or Hungarian, or Polish, or any other languages apart from Malay and English for that matter. So why in the hell would you talk to me in other languages that I don't understand?! So it got to the point where I just think she was bragging about her ability to speak multiple languages. 

Well maybe it just annoys me because I'm jealous. 

I still keep her in my list because she's never done anything that I'd consider harmful to me, just as long as I don't comment anything on her shit. 

I found out later from other people that she's been using google translate. 

Ok so I take it back. It annoys me NOT because I'm jealous. 
It annoys me because using google translate just to appear "well versed" is just annoying as fuck. 



FOUR
Chain letters - Boy oh boy. Ever since I was in high school until now. This just never ends does it. 

"Forward this if you love (insert whatever religious deity here) "

"97% of Facebook users won't repost this"

"Share if you care. Or keep scrolling if you're a cold heartless shithead"

Well I guess I'm a cold heartless shithead then, so fuck you. I win.


FIVE
Constantly uploading pictures of your exercising "achievements" - I put quotes on the word achievement cause I personally don't think running for 40mins on your treadmill is a great achievement. 

But to each their own I guess.

It's just, don't go crazy on uploading pictures of the timer on your equipment and captions it "managed to run for 20mins/3492904783853023472 hours today."

We don't care. 

Unless if it's a picture of you slamming your face on the treadmill, then heck yeah. Upload that shit. That's comedy material. 

Everybody loves comedy. 



SIX
Islamic "warriors" - These are the type of people that preach about halal haram on however they deem fit. (nitpicking shitlords)

Well, mostly about haram.

Haram to be seen in a church. Haram to read about this and that. Haram to look at a cross. Haram to touch a bible. Haram to touch a non-muslim. Haram to touch dogs. etc etc.

Most even go to the extend of spewing death threats like it's nothing serious.

It's just baffling to me on how the same set of people can preach about hate and violence and get away scot free. NOBODY will question their morality, as long as they play the religion card. 

And whenever someone with intelligence (ehem, me) questions their motives, whoopeedoo, now you're a murtad. 

This is when I draw the line and disassociate myself as fast as I can from them.
Cause, fuck these people.



SEVEN
Movie/Show spoilers - Congratulations, you've seen the movie. Here, have a big round of FUCK YOU.



EIGHT
Sharing shit without checking the credentials - FUCKING. SNOPES. IT. SHITHEADS.

What's the use of the internet if you don't know how to fucking use it?! How about you utilize Google to find some legit knowledge instead of googling for "Malay 3gp" or "bahan melancap"??????



NINE
Attention craving selfies - Someone who uploads a flattering picture (mostly semi-boobs/ass shot) of themselves and captions it "ugly/forever single/nobody wants to bang this hashtag fat"

Hey fuckface, if you think you're ugly, then you wouldn't be uploading that boobs/ass picture of yours would you?

I had to remove my husband's niece from my list cause I was soooo close of commenting "Yeah you're ugly" on one of her many selfies. Don't wanna be burning bridges now. At least not yet. 



TEN
Posting vague shit -

"I don't think I can handle this anymore..."

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it on Facebook, it's personal"

Then don't fucking talk about it on facebook asshole!!



ELEVEN
Pre-informing us that they will upload something tomorrow/8 months from now/18392784378263 years from now -

I have a friend that constantly reminding us that she will be uploading a picture of herself at a later time.

LIKE WHO GIVES A FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

IF YOU WANNA UPLOAD IT THEN FUCKING UPLOAD IT ALREADY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO INFORM US WAYYYY BEFORE AS IF WE NEED TO STOP OUR DAILY ROUTINES JUST TO LOOK AT YOUR GODDAMN PICTURE!!

AARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



TWELVE
Ostad Azhar Idrus - I don't like him. AT ALL. I will hide/unfollow/unfriend/do whatever means necessary to whoever in my list that shares his shit. 



THIRTEEN
The most annoying shit so far, when someone replies to my comment with this line:

"tak payah la nak menunjuk-nunjuk guna bahasa inggeris. kata orang melayu, naik kan la martabat bahasa kita ... tak reti cakap bm ke?"


Hoi babi guling. Cakap je la yang kau tak paham English! Tak payah susah-susah nak bagi alasan "menaikkan martabat bahasa Melayu" bagai!!







ARGHHH OK BAI.








Wednesday, March 4, 2015

DOODLE: Tetek sedap




I was checking my traffic sources here on my blogger dashboard and I found something that really, really, reaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy caught my attention









HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH




whoever googled this and stumbled onto my blog, syabasssssssssss saya ucapkan!!!


Today is your lucky day!!!

Anda telah menangi hadiah yang amat bertuah!!


Hadiahnya.........





.....ialah gambar tetek Alia yg sedap!!!!!










TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!


You deserve this!!!!


Just so that your visit here won't be a complete waste of time!!


Sedap tak teteks iol????

Berlemak, manis dan sangat gebu!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA




LOVE: Part 1
















Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Pets



Hari ni we found out that SIL & BILs little puppy had died.

When Don told me the news, macam tak percaya, sebab she was super active.

I never had any real pets that I really cared about before (sebab I'm too lazy untuk clean after them haha)
I've had some cats, but cats are just super lazy, not interactive, and not loyal.

Throughout all of my life, we only had 2 cats. Itu pun sebab my brother yg beriya-iya nak jaga.

First cat was named Tommy, an orange tabby.
My bro found him as a newborn kitten and begged my parents to keep him.
Tommy was named after Tommy from Power Rangers because my brother was into them when he was a kid.
He fed him, bathed him, cleaned him.
Uish, My brother was only 6 kot masa tu?
Bagus betul adik aku ni. Kakak dia je yg pemalas hahaha

Anyway, Tommy was ganas nak mati. Suka cakar.
Bila kitaorg duduk kat couch, dia suka cakar kaki.
I hated that cat.
One day he wandered around and got lost, and so that was it.

Bye bye Tommy.

Hati gembira sebab now I can sit on the fricking couch without having to worry about my feet being scratched.

A couple of months later (or maybe years kot? Ntah lupa)
We found another cat.
Actually, our then-maid yg jumpa.
He was a black tabby.
He had a super soft fur.
We've decided to keep him (after we begged our parents of course)

I was in high school this time.
So I was a bit more responsible lah.

We named him Blackie (huh, creativenya nama HAHA)
Blackie was very manja. Every morning when I was waiting for my school bus (bas sekolah sampai rumah pukul 6am -- gila tak?!?) Blackie was there to accompanying me.
He loved to lick my face, though I hated it sebab cats tongues are very....sharp?? But I just let him do that.

A couple of months later, he disappeared too.

I was sad, but not too sad, sebab dunno lah, I never really bonded with him.
Plus, kucing ni very....laid back. I dunno how to say lah, but very boring lah.

Macam bela ikan dalam aquarium.
Nothing interesting

Maybe your cats lain, but mine certainly were not "best friend" material.

But maybe kalau any of our cats die, maybe I'll feel differently.


And then I came here.
Yadda yadda yadda, to cut the story short, SIL found an abandoned puppy.
It was during one of those cold nights.
So dia tak sampai hati nak biarkan puppy tu kesejukkan keseorangan outside of their house.
She welcomed her in.

It was only about 2-3 months ago kot?

That puppy was super active!!

Bila kitaorg datang je, she was super excited and wagging her tail and all.
Obedient too.

That's one thing about dogs, they are very obedient.
All you have to do is train them.

She already knew "sit" "lay down" and "shake"

Overall, dia nampak healthy.

until a couple of days ago. They said dia muntah and didn't want to eat.

She died today.
In their bathroom.
Alone.

Sedih tau.

Walaupun aku kadang kadang annoyed jugak dgn puppy tu sebab she wouldn't sit still, asyik nak suruh orang pet dia, tapi hearing this news really made me sad.

She was a companion.
Macam kawan/anak.

No wonder la ppl always say "dog is a man's best friend"
Because dah mcm another part of your family member.

Anyone who has a dog can relate.


Well.
Anyway, at least she had a nice warm place where she was loved and taken care of, albeit short.





Rest well little Pandora. 








Monday, March 2, 2015

Depressing Monday



Hari ni received another letter from USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) saying that my case doesn't need to be interviewed, but ada delay 6 months.

Depressing sangat.

:( :( :( :(

I mean they said "potentially interview waiver".
But right now it seems that I DON'T MIND having to be interviewed!!!

Kalau kena interview, sure. leceh sebab nak kena jawab soalan bagai, nak tunjuk evidence bagai, tapi at least tak de la sampai dragging berbulan-bulan!!

I've read that some people who received the same letter said their cases have been on halt for a year or so!

But ada jugak yg after they received the letter, they received their green card in the mail a couple of weeks later!

Aku tak paham!

Nampaknya either way boleh. It's either you get lucky and receive your green card earlier than that 6 months period, or you'll have to wait to get your stupid green card.

It seems that this letter is their "safety net" kalau ada case yg delay lama.

In the meantime, nasib baik this delay only applies to the green card itself (permanent residence card btw in case you didn't know) and doesn't apply to my work permit and my Advanced Parole (which allows me to go out from the country without a visa)

Tapi still.....:(



Sigh.

I know that most of you won't understand apa aku merepek ni.
But just understand this:

Aku sangat depressed!!

hahahahahaha...



Did you know that I've been doing this stupid green card thingy sejak 2012?

Gila kau, 2 tahun tak settle settle lagi.
And now coming onto 3 years!!

I've spent most of my time, energy and money on this thing.

I don't think I've talked about my visa process here in my own blog..
Maybe sebab selalunya it's a dread topic (for me) to talk about

The process is very tedious.
Banyak paperwork (duh)

I remember masa nak dapat visa untuk masuk US, I had to go for an interview kat US Embassy in KL, and banyak pulak kena tanya.

How did I meet Don
When did I meet Don
How many siblings does Don have
Have you met his parents
Have he met yours

yadda yadda yadda

Berpeluh tetek gua!

Before pergi interview tu, ada medical test.
Cucuk sana cucuk sini.

Dah dapat visa, masuk US, kena pergi medical test lagi!
Cucuk sekali lagi.
Nasib baik free (sebab medical here is super expensive if you don't have an insurance)

Ni, since I received this love letter, takkan nak kena buat medical lagi?!?!


Bangang bin bangang.


Duit?
Jangan cakap la.
Nak file sekeping kertas application je dah $400
Biometrics $85
Medical $100
Nak tukar my status from an "alien" to permanent resident $1010

Ni tak termasuk harga utk remeh temeh lagi

Also, all in USD. Mana aci Ringgit Malaysia.


Makin lama duit dalam bank makin depleted.


Paling anti bila orang asyik tanya "bila nak balik malaysia"

or "tak rindu Malaysia keeee"

or "balik la Malaysiaa"

Like dudeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Kau nak sponsor tiket ke???

Apa kau ingat sebab aku duduk oversea, automatically jadi kaya raya sapu bontot guna duit?


Aku rasa miskin sekarang (chewah, bajet kenkonon masa kat Malaysia kaya ler tu)


Tapi nasib baik delay ni tak efek permit kerja uols. Kalau tak, maunya aku meraung depan mailbox tu. Hahahaa

So I can work WHILE waiting for my green card.



Sigh.

Payahnya pindah Amerikah.

Aku tengok member member aku yg pindah Europe and Australia, mcm simple je process. Tak de pun redtapes bagai.

I mean sure lah mesti tedious jugak process, sebab all migrations mmg leceh, tapi tak de pon isu delay ke apa!

Jelesssssssssssssssssss

Haih. Ok la.
Malas nak fikir panjang panjang.

Lagi aku fikir, lagi panjang aku type.
Bukannya boleh expedite the process pun.

Ok bai.


Nak pergi nangis syahdu on Don's shoulders.










Idiots


Weather kat sini mcm tahik.
Semalam sejuk nak mampos, sejuk sampai menusuk tulang
Hari ni, panas gilos. 
Ok lah, tak der la sampai 40C, tapi dlm 20-25C mcm tu 

It's March so spring is coming!
I know I'm gonna miss this winter 
Cause it's the first winter since I got here, and secondly, mak walrus ni memang berdarah sejukkk, I need cold weathaa to keeps me sane. 

Hahahahaha

It's one thing la over here in the south, kalau winter tu tak de sejuk mana pun. I mean yeah it's still cold, but tak de la miserable

......or maybe tak miserable sebab cinta hati sentiasa ada di sebelah??

Haaaaaaaaaaaa

Good point Alia.
Good point.


Ok Alia is saikosis. Suka ber-monolog. 
Yer la, I don't actually have any script of what to write.
I usually just write what I'm thinking as I'm typing it. 

Sebab tu selalunya kalau nak cerita, memang tak der jalan cerita.
Semua tunggang langgang.

Memang kenot be a writer la mcm ni.


Anyway, tadi I was browsing pictures on my PC untuk tepek here, cause we all know you guys don't read :p 
and I found this instead.

I mean I know some of you yg added/followed me on FB may have probably read about this, but I'm gonna tepek it anyway! 



Sesiapa yg ada me on your list would know that I'm not the quiet type...I speak my mind just like I do here on my blog. And if I see something so stupid going on my newsfeed, I'd write about it. 

Sebab tu aku rasa ramai tak suka aku...... Hahahahaha
Eh lantak la, your loss.



Anyway, ni time Christmas hari tu, When stupid religious people in Malaysia was in the limelight again....


I wrote this on my status:





Pastu muncul la this status on my newsfeed...:









I'm also not the type yg duduk diam bila orang talk about me. 

Aku rasa dia butthurt sebab when I called these people "idiots", dia terasa sebab dia pun tergolong dalam golongan yg sama! 

Hahahahahah 
I mean that's the only way to justify the reason why she was being so fucking defensive!

I mean I have every reason to call these people idiots sebab org org mcm ni la yg kononnya paling alim warak sampai common sense pun no longer works.


Christians tak de masa la nak dok convert Muslims.
Yahudi also tak de masa la nak dok gulingkan Muslims. 

They have other things to worry and be concerned about.

Only Muslims je yg sebok dok fikir macam mana nak convert non-Muslims. 
So they automatically think others are doing the same?!

Melayu ni mmg perasan diri bagus that everybody is out to convert or gulingkan bangsa Melayu Islam ni.


Anyway, back to her, I had to remove her walaupun she's family, sebab she attacked me personally when she questioned my religious morality on whether I perform my prayers or if I know the direction of the qibla or do I know how to recite shahadah (my friend pointed out that she spelled "2 kali masyahadah instead LOL - oh the irony!! so much win there).

It was also very offensive when she and her friend called out that I'm still a "child" because they assumed that I didn't know why Christmas is celebrated. 

Based from my arguments and the way I presented my points across, I don't know who in the right mind would think that I'm uneducated???? unless if she was talking about herself, then yes! 

Her arguments were baseless, context-less and she even contradicted herself in just one sentence (can celebrate Christmas but can't because there's a church and a bible??)

Aku tak paham tang ni....apa kena mengena church and bible?

I hope she's not one of those people yg fikir just because you've stepped in into a church or touched a bible you're automatically a Christian!!!




.....wait, I think she's definitely this type of a person!!!


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH



Oh God.

Ketawa sampai meleleh air mata.

Okok ok.

I know I'm being mean.

Anyway, I had to remove her cause people like these are unwarranted and dangerous to the society. They'd uncritically accept whatever unreasonable dogmatic ideas that come to them. As long as ada "Islam" or "Muslim", main ikut je.

I don't keep sampah macam ni in my list. 




Thursday, February 26, 2015

Alia kembali dgn entry bertajuk "Snow Day!"


Hahahahahah tajuk mcm bangang!



Hai uols!
Lamanya makcik tak hapdet kannn?
Sorry lah, tahap kemalasan makcik mmg OTT uols!

Rasa mcm tak de faedah pulak update blog kalau tiap tiap hari makcik update FB dgn Instagram.
Intipati sama je, so mcm duplicate pulak kan

Anyyyywaaaayyyyy, finally tempat makcik turun snow uols!
I live in the south, so mmg jarang snow (once a year je!) and kalau snow pun, ada la sekeping dua je

Tapi kali ni mmg byk
Mcm tau tau je yg Alia dah pindah sini kan...

We've had some ice before...ice is where the roads become super slippery and not fluffy!
Tak boleh la main snow..nak buat snowman ke, snow angel ke, snowball ke ...yang boleh buat cuma kopi panas sambil duduk depan tingkap wishing it'd snow already! haha

So yesterday night, snow flakes came pouring down!

yayayayayayayay

Its thickness is about 4-5 inches now, which is fairly a big amount for us southerners!

Kitaorg tak de la sampai 2-3 kaki mcm those yg up north tuuu

Anyway, so pukul 4pagi, Don and I went outside and ronda ronda the neighborhood!

It was super fun because though it was still snowing, but the scenery was sooooo serene!
The roads were still not disturbed, there was nobody there, all peaceful and quiet!

Cantikkkkk sangatttt permandangan!

We love to just see how snow sits on top of things you know...and the kind of foot prints that animals left behind...

It was just the 2 of us, in the middle of the night, walking in the snow

Romantik takkkkkkk??

Laki mana yang sanggup bangun 4 pagi nak keluar jalan-jalan dlm cuaca sejuk bedi semata-mata nak tunjuk isteri snow??


Anyway, nah gambar, bukannya korang baca pun apa aku tulis kat atas tu kannnn hahaha


5PM


Masa ni dlm pukul 5pm (yes it was only 5, tapi sebab winter, mmg gelap). Big ass snowflakes started pouring down!







Gambar untuk tunjuk comparison when it started snowing and after it has been snowing for a couple of hours....

...haha, alasan, padahal masa ni aku dah menggeletik nak keluar rumah walaupun baruuuu je started snowing.

Jakun mak.



Mcm hujan

Eh, mmg hujan pun...hujan snow!




4AM


Big flakes dah stopped turun, but it was still snowing



Pakcik ni mmg fully geared la nak venture out in the snow





It would be super awesome kalau snow sampai 8 kaki covering up the pool!

Hahahahahaha

Ok berangan je.
Don't think I'd want that. Mati terkongkong!





Just to show how thick it is





Pukul 4 pagi, semua org tengah sedap tidoooo



Macam penyamun pulak! hahaha







Stress aku bila nak tangkap gambar
Asyik asyik blurry je gambar
Sebab it was still snowing, and camera automatically focused on the tiniest flake yg jatuh in front of the camera!

Bangang betul!



Ntah dia check apa dlm phone tu






Theory kitaorg...ni tapak kaki rabbit!








Bila tengok balik gambar scenery ni kan.....rasa mcm tangkap gambar dlm snowhouse kat Genting Highlands pulak!!

Sebab lighting gambar moody mcm dlm dome! Pastu sebab tak de orang, so mcm echo-y!

hahahaha ok. tak logik. Whatever.

Continueeee...






Lets make a snowman!!



Mula mula kita kepal kepal ice ni...pastu kita rolllll.....


And rolllll.,.....



And rolllllll.......................





Sampai jadi besar mcm niiiii!




Pastu kita stop, sebab ice tu jadi berat nak mampossssssss
hahahahahahaha














Oleh disebabkan we couldn't place the other ball on top of the base, we've decided to make 2 snowmen instead!

These 2 are very fitting kan??? hahahahahahahahaah







Masa ni I asked him "hoi kenapa muka you selalu tonyok dlm gambar??"

hahahah..tak de dlm BM kan...but you get what I mean



And he made this face instead!!

Mcm muka pakcik pedo mana ntah!!




Masa ni he said "Look look, I'm Daenerys"

I was like "huh? Amende u merepek ni??"

Rupa rupanya he meant snow head = white head = Daenerys Targeryen

*crickets*

Hahahahahaha ye laki den mmg saiko mcm tu








------------------------------------------------------------

 VIDEOS


Excited syiokkkkk dpt main snow tengah tengah jalan uols!!

Hahahahahahaha

Nasib baik tak de org masa tu.....kalau tak...mmg geleng geleng kepala la diorg tengok makcik Asia ni golek golek atas jalan

Jakunn gila babeng hahahaha





Don building a snowman!

Kerja kuat pakcik ni! Last last kerja terbengkalai! Hahahah






I asked him "biar betik you tak boleh nak roll that snow ball???" dgn nada riak

Sebab nampak mcm simple je kan???

Haaaaa...tu ler...riak tak bertempat! Kan dah bedebukkkkk hahahahahaha

And yep!! There's a bruise on my knee now!! Tu ler akibatnya kalau riak konon terer buat snow man!!

hahaha




Ok bai.