I'm tired of having to answer questions/statements macam
"Tak kesian ke your parents when you move there?"
"Tak sedih ke your family?"
"So kau nak tinggalkan your family ke ni?"
"Sanggup kau nak berjauhan dari your friends and family ye?
"Kalau aku jadi kau, aku sanggup duduk berjauhan dengan husband, asalkan aku dekat dengan parents"
First of all, I know you mean well, but tolong berhenti tanya soalan macam tu boleh?
YOU have NO IDEA how HARD it is for me.
I'M the one who has to make the ultimate sacrifice, I'M the one yang kena pindah, I'M the one yang have to move away.
I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DECIDE.
Everything falls on MY shoulders, so just imagine how I would feel right now
Bila fikir nak berjauhan dengan my family, mak dan apak, every part of me is crushed. Remuk.
Bila fikir nak kena start my life from scratch, tak de kerja, tak de kawan, different cultures, I get so scared.
I don't know anyone else there, selain dari Don and his family. Aku cuma boleh berharapkan pertolongan diorg.
Aku tak de tempat nak lari malam malam kalau nak merajuk. Selalunya aku lari bawah ketiak mak, tapi kat sana aku nak lari bawah ketiak sapa pulak? Pak itam sebelah rumah? Haha..
I am scared shitless, tapi aku tabahkan hati jugak.
Because I want to be with my husband.
Aku nak jugak merasa bina family sendiri.
Aku nak merasa beli perabot rumah dengan suami sendiri.
Aku nak lepak kat balkoni, minum hot chocolate, sambil gossip dengan suami sendiri.
If I could stay here and be with my family forever, I would.
But I couldn't.
Kalau dia pindah sini, dia nak kerja apa? Jadi mascot McDonald's?
Couple lain yang pindah dari Kelantan ke KL sebab ikut husband, tak de pulak kau nak judge dia kan?
Then sama jugak la kes aku ni; aku pindah sebab nak ikut husband.
So please stop making me feel like I'm a heartless bitch; tak de perasaan sebab sanggup tinggalkan my loved ones behind.
I'm so devastated beyond relief having to leave my family behind, but at the same time, I'm so excited to be with my husband.
I love both my family and my husband so much it hurts.
And this is my decision, and I know I'm making the right one.
To all my friends,
I wish to inform you that tuan tanah blog ini will officially migrate to negara Amerika bulan April 2014 ini.
After those long hard years of separation, it is time for us to settle down and start a new chapter of our lives.
Faith, patience and trust brought us here. Lets to never forget these are the pillars of our relationship; if we could withstand the vast distance (15742.082 KM to be exact), we are definitely ready for anything else.
We have built a strong foundation, now let's go and build our own little family.
And we will have a remarkable story to tell to our children.
My sister calls SENGKUANG = KUANG SENG!
But seriously, it's a miracle that my aunt boleh dapat tangkap apa adik aku was trying to say.
I really thought she was referring to a Chinese vegetable yg aku tak pernah tau!
btw, it was a radish. >_>
I'm so bad at keeping promises. I know I promised a whole lot of you that I'll update my blog, tapi sampai kesudah tak de updates ye tak.
Anyway, hari ni aku nak menaga.
Aku ada sorang kawan ni, orangnya bertudung, cantik, ayu, cakap pun lemah lembut, petite, so nampak luarannya macam sweet sweet girl gitu.
Tapi sekali dia update status dalam FB....aku rasa nak delete dia dalam hidup aku (haha dramatis tak).
Dia suka tulis isu isu racism, provokasi, and hateful.
Kawan kawan dia yang selalu komen pun satu species.
Mula mula dulu aku buat dek je, tapi makin lama makin sakit hati (dan sakit mata).
Orang macam ni la aku panggil hipokrit.
Cerita pasal agama pung pang pung pang, tapi very racist!
Tak ke agak kelakar kat situ?
I thought Islam taught you to be humble and understanding?
Kau share article article dari ustaz itu la ini lah, kasi nasihat agama kat orang lah, tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.........
Aku perasan these self-claimed pious people are so violent, dari segi perwatakkan dan perbuatan.
Banyak kali aku nampak dalam timeline, how people would threaten someone for saying/doing the most stupid shit.
Contoh macam kes that woman and her dogs. I admit, I don't know the whole story (nor care to dwell further) tapi we've got these keyboard warriors yang kononnya mempertahankan agama (coz apparently she insulted the religion) fucking threatened to kill her?!?!?!
What the fuck is wrong with you!?
You claimed that she insulted your religion (of peace. OHH THE IRONY) and that gave you the rights to take someone's life?!?!?
Who the fuck do you think you are?? God??
I'm so fucking tired having to explain to my non-muslims friends on WHY MUSLIMS ARE SO VIOLENT (upon the smallest issue!) that they're just protecting the religion.
How fucking stupid does that sound?
Here you are, talking about bashing someone's head on the pavement because her view differs from yours.
She wasn't hurting anyone physically, she didn't hurt your family, she didn't hurt you, she didn't make your life miserable, she didn't get you fired or having something taken away from you, then why the fuck would you threaten her??
Also, my dear friends and family, even if Islam says that dogs are najis/unclean (not haram), that doesn't mean you can treat them bad! That doesn't mean you have to be abusive towards them! That doesn't mean that you can't help them when they're in trouble ie. about to drown! Please have a little mercy
I've got cousins that are so....I should say, hateful towards dogs. And I just don't know how to educate them that dogs aren't objects that you can simply kick or throw around.
They've mingled with stupid people and became, well, stupid.
They don't even bother to study or do a little research first.
Look, it's a different matter if you're afraid of dogs, cause you know, some ARE scary, but I've got no beef with you if you try to stay away from them and not do anything harmful ie: run over them with your car
Dogs are usually friendly and curious creature and just want to sniff you.
Unless if they come running towards you barking with a mouth full of dripping saliva. That just means that they're crazy and possibly have rabies. lol
If that happens, THEN you run. haha
Oh gosh, lama gila tak update blog.
Tetiba pulak hari ni terasa nak update.
Sebenarnya, banyak benda dah berlaku ke atas diri beta ini (chewaahh, masih lagi beranggapan diri sendiri berdarjat tinggi hahah)
Eh which got me thinking, kalau aku sukahati gelar diri sendiri "beta" dlm blog sendiri, nanti kena saman ke? Hahaha..mana tau, isu isu sentitip ni amat sensitip dengan isu sentitip
Anyways, the reason why I stopped writing was because banyak sangat benda berlaku sampai tak tau apa nak update dulu. Last last terus tak update. Hahahahah
Even sekarang pun aku tak der point nak tulis, padahal dah set dalam otak nak cerita pasal recent trip (which was not so recent dah).
Sebab bila start type dlm blog je, terus ...hilang.
During those hiatus months, satu blog pun aku tak jenguk.
Aku tak tau napa aku ada this ugly attitude...I mean bila tiba mood malas nak update blog, blog sendiri pun rasa disgusted nak bukak.
Seriously, masa tu la rasa mcm "ewwwwwwwww kenapa aku ada blog", "kenapa blog aku buruk sangat" "kenapa contents blog aku mcm sampah" kenapa kenapa kenapa
Terus aku tak bukak langsung.
Blog orang lain pun aku tak baca. Sebab aku rasa kenapa aku perlu baca life orang lain yang dah semestinya lagi best dari life aku.
Hahah....sebab bila aku baca how happy your marriage is, or how beautiful your wedding was, or how awesome your kid's birthday party was.....aku rasa mcm useless person.
Lagi sakit hati kalau baca orang tu pergi travel sana sini, makan steak 2 kg ke (haha!), celebrate your 4th anniversary with your husband......you know stuff that I don't get to do.
So aku rasa mcm kenapa aku nak dwell dgn perasan iri hati aku ni when I can just stop reading?
Hahahahahaha ye aku memang saikosis!
Then a couple of months later, baru kebosanan melanda.....and the makcik kepoh inside me is screaming .....I need my daily intake of gossips and I need to read about other people's lives!!
Alia is saikosis.
ahahah sebenarnya entry tak de point tapi sebab kemaruk nak type panjang panjang. hahaha
This has been a rough week for his family.
His aunt collapsed last Friday while she was packing her car to visit her daughter and grandchildren in Florida. She was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with double aneurysm in her brain and one of them had burst. It kept on bleeding and she couldn't make it...She passed away yesterday at 9:50am EST (10:50pm Malaysian time). She was only 54.
Aunt Kathy was one of the people whom I adore dearly, despite of only knowing her for a short while. I first met her during my first visit to America, when she visited to North Carolina from Florida after her husband died.
Even though I was a stranger in their home, she never made me feel like one. She made me feel like I was already part of the family. And the last time I saw her was last November 2012....I have never thought that would be the last....
I really feel so helpless because I never know the exact words what to say to their family, especially to his mom. Mom was so close to her sister, her best friend.
You don't know how many times I've picked up the phone trying to call her, but I always stopped when I was about to hit "dial". What would I say? What can I do? I'm literally half way across the world from them, and I can't hug them.
I've never been good with words, how am I going to console someone who's in grief? I'm afraid they'd be the one consoling me instead! haha...
But I know mom will be okay, she has all of her family members to support her (including me who's so far away!).
Rest In Peace Aunt Kathy.
Thank you for everything.
Btw, Don is doing okay. He kept on telling me that it's okay for me to cry, cause he heard me chocked up many times. Eh dia pulak yang nak console kita. Patutnya kita yang console dia! haha saikosis.
Yang tak tahan tu, muka serious sedih gila bila dapat tau yang dia tak dapat undi. LOL