Why I don't like (the people on my) Facebook. LOL.

I like Facebook, for the fact that it reconnects me with old friends and keeps me updated. I can also play games when I'm bored with WoW. I can post pictures so that my family and friends can see how fat I've become. You know, there are a lot of reasons why I like Facebook.

But there are also reasons why I DON'T like Facebook. More of an annoyance, really.

ONE

News Feed Spam. 
I don't know whether it's your connection or you're just too fucking stupid to remove duplicate entries.

I'm sorry, I am not interested in whether you just beat your top friend record or not! So why the hell would you post it THREE TIMES IN A ROW? (there are actually more down the row).

Once is fine, but THREE TIMES???

I mean sure sometimes my connection is gay like that too where it automatically duplicates my entries, but then I'd have the decency to remove the fucking thing.

Easy right?

Try it next time. It's fun.

TWO

The Let-Me-Tell-You-About-My-Life type of people. Sure I love my friends, but oh come on. I don't fucking need to know what you had for breakfast or what you're doing now.

How fascinating! I've never tasted ANY of those. You sure are lucky.

If you had a maggot in your food and you fucking loved it or anything that DEEMED necessary to update, then sure, the pleasure's all yours. Otherwise, if you're just repeating your breakfast/lunch/dinner menu, who gives a shit. You might as well just take a picture of the damn menu.

THREE

 Invitations. Invitations. Invitations.

Before I get into this, lemme clarify something, it's fine if you invite me to your wedding/birthday/house warming/kenduri/your circumcision party (in fact, I welcome them). I get it, you're optimizing the usage of today's technology, kudos to you.

But I am talking about these kinda invitations (you know damn well which kind of invitations I'm talking about don't you):

And these too:

Um, how about a BIG FAT NO?

No, I am not interested to join and be your little groupie. No, I don't want to play another shitty game.

And why this shit bothers me so much is that, people won't stop fucking invite me if I don't accept them.

Of all the hundreds invitations that I received (trust me, I've ignored hundreds before), I believe there are only less than 10 which are LEGIT invitations (weddings and birthdays). The rest are either SPAM, or well, SPAM.

FOUR

Pillows war.

Like seriously.

I am getting more and more annoyed at this. No, not because you've hit me with an intangible-non existence pillows several times, but the fact that you're drowning my wall with your annoying notifications!

Over and over and over.

Fine, I'll play along too.

I win.

FIVE

Advertising, promoting, seeking for your MLM/Insurance victims. I have to say, this is perhaps the most annoying thing about Facebook.

I like my Facebook to be strictly personal/fun. It's a taint in the eyes to see all these people SPAMMING THE SHIT outta Facebook (like literally, spamming).

It's even more annoying when you get something like this:

No I will not call you because I am not interested. But thanks for tagging me, and half of your friends list. We truly appreciate having a fricking non-constructive award picture that has nothing to do with us in our photo albums.

SIX

Unnecessary photo-tag. I don't get it, why would you tag me if I'm not in the picture?

Just look at this picture. Are you subliminally saying I'm a millipede (or whatthefuck ever that is)? Do I look like a millipede? Do I smell like a millipede?

WHAT? WHAT WHAT??

Or how about this one:

Yeah, you know it. You've played this before. I know I have (but removed it a minute after this screen popped - no kidding). So what is your point exactly? This application is by far the most pointless time waster out there.

You know, you could at least delete it once you've seen the result.

It's annoying.

Super annoying.

But I must say, this is rather funny.

But I still wouldn't want this in my fricking album.

SEVEN

Facebook drama. Let it be couples arguments or friends drama.

Couples arguing back and forth publicly. I've thought of several possibilities on why they are not being discreet about their domestic problems:

1. They've got no other means of communication. Their phones have been barred or probably they smashed their phones when they threw at each other.

2. They can't see each other because they've been crying non stop for the past 2 weeks so they look super ugly now


3. They want to share their problems with other friends/the internet world so that they can get a pat on the back saying "You'll be fine, it was his/her fault in the first place".

4. They want people to feel sorry for them. Ehem, attention seekers.

5. They're just plain ignorant not caring about what other people has to go through upon seeing their silly quarrels


And this is even more laughable, someone who went apeshit when she/he was removed from her/his friends Top List.

Lawl.

You're kidding right?

Tell me, if I remove you from my list completely, would you go insane? No? Good. Done.

EIGHT

Friends of friends (of friends of friends) trying to add you. 

Er, who are you again?

Look just because you're a friend of my friend doesn't mean I AM your friend. I don't know you. So why the hell would you add me.

Oh, you wanna add me because I look hot in my avatar, why thank you, but you're still not getting any brownie point for that.

NINE

Massive notifications. One comment on one photo/status/wall and you will be notified for subsequent comments, FOREVER. And EVER.

It only takes 2 people to make it into a lifetime annoyance; once they start chatting. About something else that has nothing to do with the picture/status. And you gotta live with it. FOREVER. And EVER.

TEN

People who think Facebook is an open channel for them to talk about politics.

I don't like it when politics interfere with my personal life. Or with anything, really. I despise politics and I think politics are just a bunch of crap that people made up to get money and to control our lives.

But that's just what I think.

Facebook is for fun. So why in the world would you talk about politics? Do you discuss politics while making out? No. So shut the fuck up.

ELEVEN

What is up lately with these womens' conspiracy against the men? We are suddenly talking in codes.

None.
lawl. You are not wearing any bra.

How does THIS support the victims of breast cancer? By shoving it to their faces saying "HEY LOOK I AM WEARING A BRA CAUSE I'VE GOT BOOBS LOL".

That's stupid.


But I suppose that can't top this:

TWELVE

Frequent updates about your kids growth.

I understand that you're a proud new parent. I enjoy your child's pictures, updates, videos and such, but that doesn't mean I (or we) want to know every little step that your baby takes.

I am certainly not interested in reading your updates EVERY TIME your baby eats, walks, plays, yawns, poops, pees or talks.

Make a personal blog and share it to your immediate family. Just not on Facebook.



Ok. It's 2:26am and I am tired and my stomach is killing me. So I guess I'm gonna have to stop at the 12th reason.




Grumpy granny over and out.