I am going to be an American?

Hahaha, tajuk tak boleh blahhh. Mesti aku kena lempang dengan family kalau diorg baca ni.

But, yeah, if I marry an American, will I be considered as an American on ppls eyes (walaupon I'm a Malaysian on paper)?

Legit question or noooottt???

***********

I'm so tired.

Bayangkan hari hari lepas kerja kerja pergi hospital sampai pukul 11pm. I mean I'm not bitching about going to the hospital lah, but I am bitching sebab kenapa kita start kerja pukul 8:30 pagi!!

Hahaha...

Ok memang tak berasas aku nak bitching bitching pasal kerja, nanti tak der kerja nantiiiiiiii....haaa

I've had a bitter experience (albeit little) nak cari kerja. I've always thought I was the bomb, so fricking awesome semua companies berebut nak aku......tapi sebenarnya itu adalah sifat ego dan I was in denial yang sebenarnya aku ni tak beberapa bagus, experience ciput berlagak nak position CEO..hahaa

Anyway, it's hard jugak sebenarnya kerja kat sini...mostly because I'm back on the IT side a.k.a the Dark Side hahahaha.

Honestly, I've never programmed before, tho my current job doesn't really require me to program, but at least I need to know the basics lah...ok, not really, my job doesn't need me to program at all..hahahaaaa aku saja berdrama.

But I need to put my hands in the dirty field lah (metaphorically)..aku kena hands-on jugak, compared to my previous consulting job...tu aku dok suruh orang je...Bwahaha *gelak keji*

I'm still in the learning curve...gila steep, bos aku dah naik kan nama aku sikit sikit...crap. Kenapa orang lain masih dok relax je???

Saya tidak puas hati!

Anywayssss, did I tell you my office is on the same building as my dad's?

Har har har.

Sungguh tak best. Cuma dia ada pangkat lah...aku kan masih kuli batak ternama....so bila his staff jumpa dia dlm lift ke apa, mesti lah diorg tegur kan...then mesti ayah aku introduce me to them "Oh, this is my daughter.." then diorg akan tanya "unit mana?" then I have to jawab "unit blah blah blah" then diorg tanya lagi (more like a cynical statement lah) "oh under En. blah blah ke??" pastu senyum senyum kambing.

Crap.

I know the talks about my big boss lah, ai dun want to hear bolehhhhh?? Nanti aku ada pandangan serong terhadap diaaaaa, then nanti dia tak kasi aku naik pangkattttt (baru masuk sebulan dah bercita cita tinggi...haha!)

Ok sebenarnya itu bukan tujuan aku update (sejak bila je aku tak pernah tersasar objective?). I'm just scared lah, nanti bila dah pindah US, how the hell am I gonna find a job?

I will no longer be the majority there, I'll become one of the minorities. So racism akan melampau lampau lah. It's such a scary thought!

Walaupon Dondon dah banyak kali cakap, I should not worry too much because I've got the papers (degree/resume) to back me up, but still. Apa kau ingat senang nak cari kerja? Let alone when you're venturing in ANOTHER country.

Can any of you Malaysians yang moved to another country and got a job over there give me a peace of mind? Sebab aku gabra gila, macam panic attack sekejap.

Deep breath.
Deep breath.
Deep breath.



On another note, I don't feel too good today. Rasa nak pitam, my tangan are shaking (no I'm not hungry) and I feel my mulut needs to drink but I'm not thirsty, bila aku minum, aku rasa nak muntah.

What's happening to me???

Bila berdiri aku rasa terhuyung hayang.

I should end my post here, nanti aku pitam kang....mati orang nak angkat mak gajah ni.

Anyhow, before I sign off, please doakan my (not so) little sister will be ok!!

Si gila @ SJMC