Takut gila ok!

We had the scare of our lives today...oklah, tipulah tu, I was exaggerating saja, it was Don yang menggelupur lebih-lebih. Haha. Ok la, macam mana aku nak mulakan cerita ni, tetiba macam dah hilang ability untuk menulis kan (eh, sejak bila je aku pandai menulis ni, haha!).

Ok it started this morning..Ashley is here so pagi-pagi lagi dah semangat bangun awal-awal semata-mata nak mandi pool. Selalunya aku yang betul-betul terloncat-loncat ajak semua orang mandi sesama (eh, bunyi mcm gangguan seksual je kan, hahaha) but I didn't feel like swimming today, maybe sebab aku dah mandi awal-awal and dah pakai baju lawa-lawa so malas lah nak terjun into pee-water kaan. Don didn't feel like swimming either, ok it's a miracle lah bila dia terasa dia nak swimming kan sebab dia ni memang tak suka mandi pool, gedik semacam.

Anyway, so we were just hanging on the porch while he was doing his work on the laptop. Hari sudah panas, matahari was literally on top of our heads. So me and Don decided to masuk dalam rumah and work downstairs while I watch TV. Tengah syiok layan music, tetiba Don cakap:

Him: Sayang, I need you to do one thing for me...
Me: Apa? (selamba je aku cakap bahasa melayu)
Him: I feel like something's crawling on my back..I need you to give my back a big smack in the middle...
Me: Ha? Ok

Lalu aku pon memukul belakang dia secara ikhlas tak ikhlas..ye ah, takut tetiba aku pukul kuat sangat ke, merahhh badan dia..kan kan kan.

Time aku pukul tu, tetiba aku rasa macam ada bonggol kat badan dia kan, sah sah memang ada bug! Tanpa memikir panjang, terus aku hentak belakang dia sekuat hati. Hahah, betul ahh, mmg aku slapped banyak kali mcm perempuan kena rasuk! Ashley ada time tu, dia tengok aku sambil ternganga..agaknya dia tak sangka aku seganas tu kot..haha!

Ok ok, lepas I smacked the shit out of that bug, Don angkat baju la kan, tanya where is it? Where is it? Aku yang menggelupur ni terus macm teruja-teruja cakap I don't know! I don't know! Yer ah, mmg dah hilang benda tu, mana aku tau! I didn't know it was alive or mati penyet or dah terbang sesuka hati.

While we were busy searching for that damn thing, aku dengan mata superbionic (chey, apakah relevant kan) nampak macam ada benda stuck kat belakang seluar Don, lalu aku lagi menggelupur menjerit jerit. GELI AH FUCKER, benda macam bulu-bulu!

Him: Well get it off me?! Don't just stand there and stare!
Me: ARGHH! ARHHHA!! AH!!! AHH!!! *sambil cuba-cuba nak angkat benda tu* AH!! AHH! AHH!
Ashley: AHH!! AHH!! AHH!!! (budak ni pon tetiba ikut jerit apasal?! HAHAHAH)

To cut it short, setelah beberapa minit menggelupur kegelian, I finally grabbed his shirt and tarik benda tu and threw it on the floor.

Nak tau apa dia??

(sila tutup mata kalau anda rasa anda adalah penggeli macam Alia)

!!!!!!!

It was a botfly!!!!! Eventhough dah mati penyet kerana di hentam oleh tangan Alia yang macam robot dalam kegelian.

Or we think it was!! Menggelupur si Don bila we mentioned about the thing ada ala-ala serupa macam botfly. Terus gugel ok!!

Tak puas hati ok, sebab the thing seriously looked like a botfly!! Oh kepada sesiapa yang malas nak meng-gugel botflies ni, their eggs live inside a perumah/human skin, then the eggs will turn into a larvae and then you have to peel it off. Jap aku gugel video botfly removing yaa




See! Geli ah fuckaaaaaa! Gerun gila!!

Don yang tengah menggelupur tu, tanya his Mom, and mak dia tengok bug tu kejap, then terus cakap:

Her: Oh, it's a potato bug
Don, Alia & Ashley: Google potato bug!!!

(selepas meng-gugel)

Don, Alia & Ashley: IT'S NOTHING LIKE A POTATO BUG!!! *menjerit sama-sama*

Lain gila rupa dia!!!

THIS is a potato bug!

Mak dia tanak mengaku kalah lagi tu..

Her: Well we call it a potato bug over here!
Don: That's not helping mom! What exactly DOES IT called?! I'm gonna have larvae inside my skin and you're not being a good mom!!

Hahahaha, menggelupur ok lelaki itu.

Me, Ash and Mom couldn't help it but to laugh tengok Don menggelupur macam orang gila. Hahaha. I know it was bad, but kelakar gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

We spent like over an hour trying to google the goddamn thing, and mak dia pandai gila, terus pegi buang binatang tu.

Don: Mom, where did you throw the bug??
Mom: I threw it away
Don: WHY Mom why! I need to make sure!! Where did you throw it??!
Mom: Between our house and the neighbors...
Don: You threw it on the grass?!!??! Great! I'm gonna have botflies eating my flesh and you just threw that away!

WAHAHAHA I kenot help it but to laugh all the way, kelakar gila tengok mamat ni menggelupur sakan. Soka! Soka! LOL Evil gila aku ni kan.

Anyway, I had to pop everything yang mcm serupa gigitan di belakang badan Don.

I told him...

Me: We'll just put vaseline all over your back, that'll kill the larvae. You'll be fine *ni style aku comfort dia ah, kena subtle sikit*
Him: I'm not gonna have dead maggots IN my flesh!!!

HAHHAHAAHHA

Oh kejam gila aku ni, boleh gelak gelak time dia menggelabah.

Oklah, we read everything on the web about human botflies and dah sah-sah diorg explained yang botflies usually guna house flies (most common) to deposit eggs then the lalat itu akan terbang onto human contact. Kira botfly tu tak bertelur sendiri kat badan manusia ah. Tapi Don masih gerun. I would too la kan.

Now he's fine la, I mean kalau ye pon ada larvae ke, apa nak buat skrang, kena tunggu jugak sampai larvae besar baru la boleh nampak.

Oh, he's not freaking out now dah.

Hahaha!

Ok bai. Itu sahaja. Hahah

Gerun kan America ni, banyak betul binatang macam celaka.

(edited) Eh lupa pulak nak cerita, hari tu masa kitaorg pegi Carowinds, tengah duduk on this ride, jumpa another bug ok. Bapak Don was the one who found it, and it was melekat kat tempat duduk Don. It was a tick!! Tick ni pon sama spisis macam botfly jugak, cuma they suck the blood. Ticks will usually dig their heads inside your skin and tinggal sana beranak pinak kasi diseases.

Apa niii gerun gila ahhhhhhhh. Memang malam ni aku tidur menggaruk-garuk lah nampaknya!!!