Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Alia bitches: Why we need to overspend?

Too long.
Too long since I last updated this blog.

I've been too busy being such a workaholic geek, I've got no time for recreation. No joke. 

Alia?? Workaholic????? 
Ajaib! 


I amazed myself. 


Anyhow, what does it take for a girl to get married haaa?? 
Oh wait. Yeah, money.

=/

Though I'm not gonna blow all the money that I have (which is pretty much nothing) for a one-day reception, but aku seorang yang berjimat cermat, despite of my craving for shopping. 

Seriously, what is the logic that someone WANTS/NEEDS to spend thousands of ringgit for a wedding and terpaksa berhutang sana sini?? 

I mean take this situation for an example, 
Abu managed to save RM15k (at the point of marriage) to start a new life with soon-to-be-wife. He was gonna use the money to provide a shelter for both of them, feed themselves, pay the utilities and so on and so on for the first 2-3 months after being married. Surviving on a RM15k for 2 is possible (more than enough la kot) for the first few months provided that he has a job la kan, that keeps adding figures into his bank account.

But, in order to get married to the love of his life, it's HIS JOB (or expected to) to woo her family with an extravagant wedding reception and sekali gus menghanguskan his savings and worst, he has to TOP THAT 15K because c'mon lah, wedding apa setakat RM15k je kan? 

Now he's left with 2 choices: 
  1. Berhutang duit (or budi, if ada orang nak sponsor )
  2. Wait for another year/few more years

I know I'm going no where with my situational example cause I suck at this, but my point is, he has to live in a shitty life either paying off his debts or still saving up JUST to get married, which has the possibility of him/her getting tired of waiting and eventually go on separate ways.

And kalau dia tak cukup duit, nanti si bakal family in law pulak akan cakap "kalau nak kawen pon tak der duit, macam mana nak tanggung anak aku??"

Hello pakcik, memang lah takkan cukup kalau dalam satu hari boleh burn RM15k! Kalau ada 100K sekali pon, forever takkan cukup, because you want a grand wedding kan? You want to show to the world that your daughter is in the hands on a rich man kan? You want to have the wedding of the century kan?

WHAT IS THE USE?!

Seriously, kenapa nak belanja banyak sangat for a ceremony that only lasts A DAY and suffer (with debts and whatnot) for eternity - or at least until the debts are cleared off?!

Though I am a woman, and I like pretty things and yes, I too, want a beautiful wedding cause you can only have 1 first wedding in your life, but I don't have to be stupid not to think about OUR future.

I'm sorry but selalunya the brides (and her family) yang over over nak itu ini on the wedding day.

I GET IT. YOU WANT A WEDDING TO BE REMEMBERED.

Wait, lemme rephrase that, YOU WANT A WEDDING SO THAT PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER.

Stop bullshitting yourself saying that you want their blessings and all. Bullshit. 

So you're saying that people WON'T bless you if you have a very simple nikah ceremony?? And they will ONLY bless you if you feed them a 6-courser, provide them a red carpet to walk on, fresh flowers everywhere and the most expensive door gift anyone could ever cater for?

Just say it, you want people to acknowledge that you have a grand wedding. YOU LIVE ON COMPLIMENTS. 

I'm sorry but sometimes our culture (on unnecessary expenditure) get mixed into this. And sometimes it's not even our culture to begin with, but I'm not gonna dwell on that.

I have a few friends (and family) tersepit dengan hutang piutang because of this. Though I love them to bits, but I gotta say, it was THEIR fault to begin with, too stupid to even think about the consequences. 

The reason why I'm bitching is because part of me is a bit butthurt cause I'm still not married, but it's also mostly because I am reminding myself NOT TO BE STUPID like the rest of them.

You can bash me all you want, you know I'm right.

13 comments:

  1. agree with u alia, apa guna kan wedding grand nak mampus, lps tu umah kosong abuk pun takda... fikir future skit kan org kata.. kalau wedding grand pun org ngata jugak, x grand pun bercakap jugak.. yg penting, duit aku, suka aku la kan.. but most importantly.. lepas kawin tu nak gak ada duit skit kan, takkan nak makan pasir kan?

    ReplyDelete
  2. sungguh bersetuju!!

    Aku wedding simple, jemputan pun kawan rapat and family aje , sebab bajet aku kecik aje and semua duit aku, alhamdulillah, takde hutang piutang pung, and seminggu lepas kawen rumah aku complete with all the necessities. Itu pun lepas bertekak dengan mak aku, yang katanyer - okay apa pengantin baru tido atas lantai 2-3 bulan. I was like - erk!!! Bila dia datang rumah aku seminggu lepas kawen, tengok semua complete, baru nak puji aku - buat kerja kawen senang - simple and bagusnyer takde hutang.

    Ada sorang sedara aku nie, umangai...wedding gah okay, kerja meter reader TNB aje, tapi jemputan 20,000 orang - giler hebat, satu Malaya dijemputnye. Bunga telur - lain level orang - lain bunga telur. Hantaran punya la gempak, tapi tak sampai setahun - dah cerai, hantaran pun lebur, duit berhutang keliling pinggang, tapi sayang - yang berhutang mak bapaknye....sebab nak majlis kawen anak gah sungguh sampai jemput satu Malaya.

    Mengucap panjang aku.Nauzubillah.

    Orang Melayu ni la dia, suka nak gah tapi adonyer - tidak. Sigh.

    Kalau tanyer aku, aku prefer nikah kat masjid, makan pun kat masjid. satu persalinan cukup. Yang penting wajib bukan bersanding and kenduri tu semua.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TRUEEEEEE! and the best thing is nobody remember the wedding! dan kalau dia jemput artis popular buat persembahan, orang hanya akan anticipate penyanyi tu sahaja. who cares about the wedding.

    patut duit tu disimpan untuk life after marriage supaya boleh berjoli sakan pergi holiday ke apa2. mmg sgt tak faham dgn perangai keluarga pengantin perempuan yang begitu dengkel akalnya.

    kalau nak wedding yg paling jimat: nikah kat masjid pastu buat kenduri makan kat masjid tu jugak. senang. erh, tp that's my definition of wedding ceremony lah kan. hohoho

    ReplyDelete
  4. hehehee.i setuju and x setuju boleh x?

    coz for me. lelaki bagi hantaran and mas kahwin jer.

    and selalu belah perempuan yang grand. and if belah perempuan yang grand. keluar duit poket sendiri la :)

    for me mcm nie. its either mampu or tak mampu. if mampu. do it as grand as u want. if tak. simple as possible :)

    but if let say u nak pujuk si lelaki to give money so that u can do a grand wedding. thats bullshit!

    hehehee ~~ thats my POV la beb ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. totally agreed with u alia.

    i pun ada problem nak bincang dengan my mum bab nih. she wants everything to be like extravaganza tapi duit i kena carikkan sendiri. then sesuka hati nak letak duit hantaran sampai 20k semata2 nak wedding grand. matilah kan. tapi itulah, mentaliti org melayu kita yang dah terlampau sangat sehingga langsung tak "mengukur baju di badan sendiri".

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha. True lah Ally, whatever you mentioned mmg terjadi these days.

    I'm not butthurt since I was not that kiasu during my wedding(tho bila terbaca org lain being too kiasu bout their wedding membuatkan me rasa nak jump off a cliff sebab terasa saiko dengan kesaiko-an mereka). Hahaha.

    At the end of the day, I'd just say, "whatever makes you happy". hehe :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amat laa betul! Dah lama aku bebel (kat diri sendiri je la..) pasal benda ni...

    ade la org terdekat ngan aku yg gitu..mak nak grand sbb kira mak dia org berpangkat la jugak dlm kerjaya...so anak pening nak ikut standard mak dia..maklumla anak br merangkak nak kumpul duit..sian kan..

    ReplyDelete
  8. speechless. u speak my mind so so so well. konon nak mulakan hidup baru, nak keberkatan. berkat mendanya membazir sana-sini. majlis penuh dengan syaitoooon. isk.

    ReplyDelete
  9. kalau nak ikut kehendak memang semua kita nak buat..

    tapi now kita memang kena ikut keperluan..

    just go with ur plan.

    nowadays pun ramai orang buat nikah aje..

    jangan kisah apa orang nak kata..

    :)

    simple amazes me :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOLOLOLOLOLLx.

    i've been trolling about this malay and their grand wedding mindset in one of my entries long ago. sehinggakan aku pasang angan-angan untuk kawen kat Pantai Bali (bawak bride-to-be n parents SAHAJA). no need d hantarans. no need d guests. cukup la bride + grooms + their parents. then tag je kawan2 at gambar2 kat FB. LOLx.

    it's too hard to get wed in malaysia. banyak adat yang menyusahkan. plus come on, perempuan yang paling banyak mendapat rahmat dari Tuhan adalah perempuan yang paling senang untuk dinikahi. you can check that in mana2 religious book. aku ada baca kat mana entah, lupa la tajuk buku tuh. so amek la pengajaran.

    peace!

    ReplyDelete
  11. couldnt agree more!quoting from a wise girl friend of mine "perfect wedding is not important. what matter most is the perfect marriage."

    ReplyDelete
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    i will follow you... just follow and read my online novel.
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    ReplyDelete


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