Friday, November 19, 2010

The Legend of Ikan Tapah and how I'm so awesome LOL

I'm sure many of you Malaysians have heard about Mitos Ikan Tapah (translation: The Myth of Wallago) on how this one whole family bloodline is FORBIDDEN to eat this fish. 

I don't really know the whole story but I'm gonna try it anyway..

LAGENDA IKAN TAPAH...simplified by Alia. LOL
Yeah, it's gonna suck, you know it.

There was this one man, named Pak Kaduk, hailed from Siak, Indonesia, migrated to Malaysia. He was a very charismatic man I'm sure cause he managed to gathered a bunch of people and eventually created a neighborhood and I assume he was the chief as well.

So anyway, there was also this power-hungry Sultan whom had set his eyes on the village. He wanted the land so he can satisfy his greed. Pretty much like our politicians nowadays. No difference there.

Anyhow, since Pak Kaduk was a proud man, he never succumb to the Sultan's offer(s), thus made the Sultan very pissed off. LOL

But the Sultan was a cunning man...he knew Pak Kaduk loved to gamble (gamecock) so he made a deal with Pak Kaduk to put the village on the stake. 

"Sure" Pak Kaduk confidently said as his cock was the mightiest of all. (LOLOL sorry, it sounded dirty)

To cut the story short, Pak Kaduk lost because the Sultan switched their cocks while Pak Kaduk wasn't looking. So the village fell into the Sultan's hands. 

Pak Kaduk left shamefully and sat in a small hut besides Sungai Perak (Perak river) regretted about his stupid action. 

His train-of-regrets was halted because his beloved cat found a fish on the shore. The fish was still alive even with its bloated stomach.

Curious as his cat, he cut open the fish and wow he found a block of gold. And the fish was STILL alive even after its stomach was cut open. 

What a fish!

So he sew the fish back together and swore to the fish that none of his bloodline family can ever ever ever ever ever eat the fish and whoever did, will have to suffer from skin abnormalities/rashes/whatever. considering the fish just saved his ass (with the gold). 

And he was serious about the skin abnormalities too, none of the modern doctors, witches or shamans can fix it. The only thing that can heal the skin condition is to dunk the gold into a glass of water and the water will  magically boil and shit, then you have to drink the water.

The End.


Yeah ok, I know my story telling sucks, but who cares. I get my point across. 

But the reason why I'm telling you this is because Pak Kaduk was somewhere in my family tree. Though I am the result of a mixed marriage (meaning my mom isn't from the family line), but I still have the possibility of getting the curse. 

Anyhow, I really don't believe all of these cause I'm not superstitious and I personally think this is just another made up bedtime story. 

I mean c'mon lahh, what is the probability of a fish swallows a pot of gold?! And BE ALIVE AFTER YOU CUT IT? And you personally think the cat would call you if it sees FREE FOOD?? ALL CATS WOULD HAVE JUST EAT THE DAMN FISH RIGHT AWAY. And possibly choke to death since the fish had a block of gold la kan. LOL

The Fish

Anyway, I've drank the gold water, and it tasted like shit, no kidding. They kept the goddamn gold inside a huge clay pot and it was just so fricking dirty and urghh.

Back to my story, so 2 days ago, while celebrating Eid Adha with my mom's family, they served Wallago (Ikan Tapah) and they were like "Alia, I don't think you can eat this fish..." but they weren't too sure about the myth as well, eventhough my aunt on my dad's side had a severe skin rashes AFTER she ate the fish and was healed IMMEDIATELY after she drank the water.

That could be just coincidence and she has major allergy to the fish or something.

Anyway, I'm not saying that my family is a bunch of superstitious people cause even they weren't so sure whether to believe it or not. And my grandma was like "How about you eat it then tell us if you notice something develops on your body.." in a very serious way!! LOL I guess everybody was curious whether it's really true or not!

But it has never been proven scientifically and seriously no explanations and shit. 

Even if we look it into the religious context, one isn't supposed to gamble, and the fish is just another God given gift for us human to stay alive.

What I'm trying to say here is that, I ate the "forbidden" fish. I'm alive! 

Except that now my armpits are so fucking itchy. LOL

I have red lines on my pits that are so fucking sore and sensitive. Probably because I've been scratching it like motherfucker. 

Definitely not my body cause my boobsies are bigger. LOLOL!!

Anyhow, I'm not saying this is the result of my ignorance, it's just probably because I haven't clean them well or I'm allergic to the deodorant or I've been sweating too much since I joined aerobics classes everyday.

But this could be a great story to pass on to my children one day.

"Mamma have been cursed by the Wallago fish!!! SO BEWARE!!! DON'T EAT THE FISH! EVEN WHEN YOU'RE HALF ALIVE AND DESPERATELY NEED FOOD!!!!"


  1. lol....hahaha..macam keturunan laksamana tak boleh masuk kota tinggi takut kena muntah darah aje..

  2. wow... now this is sumthin cool+weird... interesting folklore... amik la gambau of that gold in a claypot thing... sangat Misteri Nusantara siot!

  3. ecececey...ko malas mandi..ko salahkan ikan tapah plak.muhahaha

  4. Pak Kaduk tu mmg wujud yek?... ingatkan citer dongeng

  5. lukisan body wanita pakai bra biru FTW!


  6. sounds like you guys have genetic allergy. Definitely make a better story than "Your grandad has peanut allergy, your dad has it too, and you might have it too."


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