Monday, April 20, 2015

PET PEEVES (angry post)


My Facebook pet peeves. I think I've blogged about this a long time ago, and I could have just dug it out, but ain't nobody got time for that.




ONE
Constant updates about your baby - "Waking up to this precious doll smiling" or "I'm sharing this video of baby KWSPWDPAPDHF (or whatever initials that you've decided to give to your child because you think it's hip) and I just think s/he is so cute!"


Well no shit. It's your fucking baby. Of course you think it's cute. Your child could be looking like a fucking gorilla and you'd still think it's cute and cuddly. 

Ok I'm not being fair. I'd feel the same too if I had a child. Even if my kid looks horrifying, I'd still love him/her/it unconditionally.

Besides, my child would look adorable as fuck, but that's besides the point.

Anyway, I have a friend in my list that changes her profile picture every day to pictures of her daughter. 

I've decided to unfollow her so I won't have to deal with the pain from rolling my eyes too hard. 



TWO
Newfound hidayah - Oh my fucking god. This annoys me to the core. Usually happens to newlywed individuals. 

I usually have no problems if they've found their true calling. but to talk about it (read: brag) constantly on your timeline?! Constantly sharing shit like quoted Quran verses, or videos of your favorite ostad talking about what not to do in your bedroom, or nagging about how you've seen someone that you know dressed up with her cleavage showing....... just fucking stop it.

I'm not a shit person that would bring a straw man argument about how you were as sinful as someone can be in your "previous" life, but I just wish you would stop and evaluate your life now. 

Stop judging others just because you've "changed". 

Just because you're now donning your tudungs and abayas doesn't give you the rights to be a shitlord towards others. 

And also, it makes me think that the only reason why you're now the epitome of a Muslim zombie (someone who believes whatever their ostad tells them) is because of your husband. 

And now I hate your husband.

But who cares what I think. Because you're not gonna be in my life any longer if you don't stop this shit. PEACE OUT. 



THREE
Excessive use of Google translate/Bragging about your ability - I don't know how to start with this one.....I have a friend on FB that speaks multiple languages. I had a feeling that she was bullshitting but I shrugged it off. I reassured myself that she really does speak all of those languages and I was amazed on how good this girl was!

All of her posts were in different languages. It was cute at first, but then it got really annoying. Whenever I commented on her post, she'd reply in multiple languages. 

Like what the fuck?

I don't fucking speak Swedish, or Hungarian, or Polish, or any other languages apart from Malay and English for that matter. So why in the hell would you talk to me in other languages that I don't understand?! So it got to the point where I just think she was bragging about her ability to speak multiple languages. 

Well maybe it just annoys me because I'm jealous. 

I still keep her in my list because she's never done anything that I'd consider harmful to me, just as long as I don't comment anything on her shit. 

I found out later from other people that she's been using google translate. 

Ok so I take it back. It annoys me NOT because I'm jealous. 
It annoys me because using google translate just to appear "well versed" is just annoying as fuck. 



FOUR
Chain letters - Boy oh boy. Ever since I was in high school until now. This just never ends does it. 

"Forward this if you love (insert whatever religious deity here) "

"97% of Facebook users won't repost this"

"Share if you care. Or keep scrolling if you're a cold heartless shithead"

Well I guess I'm a cold heartless shithead then, so fuck you. I win.


FIVE
Constantly uploading pictures of your exercising "achievements" - I put quotes on the word achievement cause I personally don't think running for 40mins on your treadmill is a great achievement. 

But to each their own I guess.

It's just, don't go crazy on uploading pictures of the timer on your equipment and captions it "managed to run for 20mins/3492904783853023472 hours today."

We don't care. 

Unless if it's a picture of you slamming your face on the treadmill, then heck yeah. Upload that shit. That's comedy material. 

Everybody loves comedy. 



SIX
Islamic "warriors" - These are the type of people that preach about halal haram on however they deem fit. (nitpicking shitlords)

Well, mostly about haram.

Haram to be seen in a church. Haram to read about this and that. Haram to look at a cross. Haram to touch a bible. Haram to touch a non-muslim. Haram to touch dogs. etc etc.

Most even go to the extend of spewing death threats like it's nothing serious.

It's just baffling to me on how the same set of people can preach about hate and violence and get away scot free. NOBODY will question their morality, as long as they play the religion card. 

And whenever someone with intelligence (ehem, me) questions their motives, whoopeedoo, now you're a murtad. 

This is when I draw the line and disassociate myself as fast as I can from them.
Cause, fuck these people.



SEVEN
Movie/Show spoilers - Congratulations, you've seen the movie. Here, have a big round of FUCK YOU.



EIGHT
Sharing shit without checking the credentials - FUCKING. SNOPES. IT. SHITHEADS.

What's the use of the internet if you don't know how to fucking use it?! How about you utilize Google to find some legit knowledge instead of googling for "Malay 3gp" or "bahan melancap"??????



NINE
Attention craving selfies - Someone who uploads a flattering picture (mostly semi-boobs/ass shot) of themselves and captions it "ugly/forever single/nobody wants to bang this hashtag fat"

Hey fuckface, if you think you're ugly, then you wouldn't be uploading that boobs/ass picture of yours would you?

I had to remove my husband's niece from my list cause I was soooo close of commenting "Yeah you're ugly" on one of her many selfies. Don't wanna be burning bridges now. At least not yet. 



TEN
Posting vague shit -

"I don't think I can handle this anymore..."

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it on Facebook, it's personal"

Then don't fucking talk about it on facebook asshole!!



ELEVEN
Pre-informing us that they will upload something tomorrow/8 months from now/18392784378263 years from now -

I have a friend that constantly reminding us that she will be uploading a picture of herself at a later time.

LIKE WHO GIVES A FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

IF YOU WANNA UPLOAD IT THEN FUCKING UPLOAD IT ALREADY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO INFORM US WAYYYY BEFORE AS IF WE NEED TO STOP OUR DAILY ROUTINES JUST TO LOOK AT YOUR GODDAMN PICTURE!!

AARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH



TWELVE
Ostad Azhar Idrus - I don't like him. AT ALL. I will hide/unfollow/unfriend/do whatever means necessary to whoever in my list that shares his shit. 



THIRTEEN
The most annoying shit so far, when someone replies to my comment with this line:

"tak payah la nak menunjuk-nunjuk guna bahasa inggeris. kata orang melayu, naik kan la martabat bahasa kita ... tak reti cakap bm ke?"


Hoi babi guling. Cakap je la yang kau tak paham English! Tak payah susah-susah nak bagi alasan "menaikkan martabat bahasa Melayu" bagai!!







ARGHHH OK BAI.








48 comments:

  1. I LOVE THIS LIST! <3 Alia, I think you may be my spirit animal.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahaha. marah betul Alia!
    I love thissssss!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha.. at last ada gak org sama pemikiran mcm aku... kau kena tambah lg 1... wife post pic prezen mahal gaban laki belikan "LV je dr hubby.. boleh lah dr xde".. cipet.. like i care laki ko belikan apa.. dasar x reti bersyukur..

    ReplyDelete
  4. hahaha what a spot on entry.. lagi satu nak add on.. upload a pic with the ending caption being "oh.. sila abaikan background kat belakang tu../ sila abaikan jerawat kat dagu / rambut yang messy / tudung yang senget / blablablabla" padahallll boleh je tak mention coz its not like we notice pon.. lagi meng highlightkan ade lah so nak abaikan ape nye.... -___-'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahaha aku selalu jugak tulis "abaikan pokok kat background gambar ni"

      hahaha motip nak suruh korang tengok pokok??? ahahahah

      Delete
  5. Sama la. Tak berkenan sangat dengan Ustaz Azhar Idrus tu. Nama je ustaz tapi cara bercakap boleh tahan biadap. Sesuka hati panggil orang bodohlah apalah. Tak kisahlah kalau itu cara dia dibesarkan ke apa, tapi dia tu ustaz. Patut lebih jaga bahasa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you. Most of his points are sexist and racist, full of hatred. I guess he only appeals to those yg sama taraf dengan dia, sexist and racist.

      Delete
  6. Sep sikitttt! tukar gambar baby berjuta kali tu boleh menjadikan kita nyampah tengok baby dia sekali. eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dah kenapa kau nak nyampah tengok baby dia yang tak berdosa tu? nyampah jela dengan mak pak dia yang over tu. Baby tu tak salah apa pun..

      Delete
    2. kau mesti takda anak kan cipet?

      Delete
  7. Penat angguk sebab semua perkara di atas buat aku deactivated my FB in sept 2013.

    ReplyDelete
  8. nak tanya. dah kapir ke?

    ReplyDelete
  9. As an English teacher, I super agree with the last one. It's not like we totally forget how to speak BM when we're speaking English. takkan la nak jadi monolingual. Zaman skarang kena bi/multilingual baru maju.

    ReplyDelete
  10. aku mcm x nmpk sgt ape isu nya.. probably some ppl does have hidden agenda (fishing for compliment in each photo, etc), but, ntah laa.. mcm x kacau kehidupan sesapa, so yeahh.. i just dont understand ape mslhnya. if one is being happy that she upload her baby photo every one hour, if u cant be happy for her, just ignore her. mende remeh je pon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why I said I'm not being fair, if a parent thinks her child is cute, lantak pi la kan, it's their prerogative. And because I'm not a complete douchebag, I only unfollowed people like this instead of unfriended them. Tak de la nak sakit hati setiap kali dia tukar profile pic, tak gitu?

      Delete
  11. This is the reason why I'm not that active on Facebook anymore..lol. Nowadays, I only post something or a few pictures once in a while, because I'm scared if people will think anything that I posts..could be annoying lol. If I wanted to post pictures, I'll post it in Instagram, and if it's a status or something, on Twitter :)

    I do agree on that baby/child part though. New mommies always post that shit very frequently. It's a bit annoying for me. Haha. I mean, all babies are cute but unless if your husband looks like Tom Cruise, Adam Levine, Wes Bentley or you look like Amanda Seyfried, Behati Prinsloo, Jennifer Lawrence, or either way, then posts your baby pics/vids often then. You get what I mean? haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definisi cantik/cute bagi ko jumud sangat dik, kesian. makin kau komen makin terserlah kecetekan akal kau. Better next time jangan komen dah. And yes, aku anonymous. Sebab apa? saja je, bikin panas. hahaha

      Delete
  12. Dear Alia sayang,

    I agreed almost to all of this entry but, saying (quoted) "I usually have no problems if they've found their true calling. but to talk about it (read: brag) constantly on your timeline?! Constantly SHARING shit like quoted Quran verses," = it seems overboard and i think it is wrong to say it like that. The way you write it might lead to misunderstanding towards people yang bendul like me though lol..Quran is a holy kitab sayang, so maybe you could have a ponder upon it perhaps?

    Thing is sometimes we misjudge a person with their appearance while the ONLY one that knows all is ALLAH or God dalam bahasa omputihnya. So, just my two cents and hope u tak marah eh.

    peace and out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry if you think it's wrong, I don't. Sharing just for the purpose of using it to judge other "sinners" is sickening. That's my whole point is about.

      Delete
    2. Who are we to judge people? indirectly u are not much of different with them people that judge people.

      Delete
  13. Hi Alia, I like reading your blog. Jangan marah2 sangat :) Or are you having PMS masa tulis ni hehehe. Kurangkanlah sikit perkataan F*** tu jugak. Bukan your parents pun ada baca jugak ke blog you ni?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Mostly yg agree dgn u psl menyampah dgn parents yg hari2 letak gambar anak tu are singles or not yet a parent. Biasa la tu, been there done that. So bila org komen mcm ni i cuma mampu tersenyum sinis sbb nnt yg bnyk kutuk tu laaaa yg akan buat benda yg sama.. Haha.. Wait n see.. So i agree better unfollow je org yg slalu tukar2 gambar anak tu, at least x sakitkan hati u.. Hehe.. But komen from anna above tu, is really childish. Haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apa yg childishnya? Why don't you come off as anonymous person? Now, being anonymous is childish though :) besides commenting and ain't got the balls to show yourself. Btw, how do you know if I'm single or not yet as a parent? Butthurt ke kak Anonymous sebab you selalu post pasal anak you kan? Haha. Orang lain pun ada anak, ramai anak, tapi jangan lah menunjuk atau bangga sangat, sikit sikit post pasal anak, sikit sikit post gambar anak. Orang yg selalu, asyik sangat post pasal anak ni selalunya perasan anak dia bagus, baik etc, tak gitu? Atau pun, dia tak sedar kalau asyik almost everyday or every few hours post gambar anak, orang akan fikir "Mcm perasan bagus je, bajet bagus je, hari-hari post gambar/pasal anak". Comel sangat lettew anak dia. Lol. Even anak dia nak berak, nak mandi pun duk berselfie bagai dulu. Sekali or dua kali takpelah, tapi kalau tetiap hari anak tu berak/mandi nak diambilnya gambar/selfie? Anak pun fikir apehal lah mak ayah dia ni, takde privacy langsung orang nak berak/mandi lol. And it was suppose to be a joke, that's why I said kalau anak tu ayahnya hensem or mamanya cantik, either one lah, takpe la kot nak post gambar anak everyday? Kalau Alia yg post gambar anak dia nanti pun, I don't mind lah. Sebab mesti cute gila :)

      Delete
    2. Yep. Mmg unfollow je. I'm not a complete asshole tetiba nak delete them just because they love their children.

      Delete
  15. I agree totally with your list. Nak share la ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've requested to be ur friend on fb just so i can annoy you with my boys pic daily ... muahahahahaa ... please accept lol :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HAHAHAH I've accepted your request! See? I'm not a bad person after all!

      Delete
  17. Kalau tak suka orang upload gambar baby, kan lagi senang unfollow je orang tu? Kadang-kadang benda senang macam ni kita nak rumitkan sampai terhasil satu entry macam ni. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kan lagi senang if you read the whole point first? Tak payah susah susah nak tulis komen repeating of what I wrote. LOL!

      hugs!

      Delete
  18. Its like u talking to yourself but in opposite way.


    Some People bragging about their new profound hidayah , or newlywed husband who pious, u bragging about your Amurika newlywed husband... and your secular life.

    Some people uploading their innocent ugly baby faces(as you see them) you uploading your ugly faces doing retard expression.

    Some people keep posting Quran Verses and you keep posting cursing words. To be honest i prefer read Quran Verses, if you post Bible verses or Torah verses i still prefer it rather than reach your much fucked words.

    I dont prefer Azhar Idrus too. But some people like so let them be. U also prefer something and keep posting about it.

    Attention craving selfies. lol. You colored your hair with out of ordinary color, make an avatar our of it, constant selfies.... are you talking about yourself?

    ...... and the list goes on...

    be cool even if u angry(i dont kbow what make u angry at first, to random people in fb..... really?) i think by staying in amurika u slowly has become one of them. curse much and slowly turning yourself to a bimbo.

    dont simply admit u kufar becauae of throlling or being sarcastic, or else u really one of them.

    cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooo I think someone is a little butthurt here over here

      XOXOX for still reading my blog, shows that you secretly want to be like me! ;)

      Delete
    2. I was gonna be nice and explain to you cause I think you've misunderstood most of my points, but I've decided not to because of this:

      "dont simply admit u kufar becauae of throlling or being sarcastic, or else u really one of them." <--- That's the most ignorant sentence I've ever heard.

      Do me a favor, get the fuck out of here and don't come back.

      Delete
    3. i agree to all points above. Bertaubat lah selagi sempat. sebab kami tegur sebagai muslim sesama muslim, tp kalau tak nak ikut, takde masalah. Moga Allah bagi hidayah pada awak dan suami kembali ke jalanNya

      Delete
    4. Semoga Allah ampunkan dosa kita semua..amin..

      Delete
    5. To anon 3:49AM,

      Moga Allah bagi akal fikiran pada awak supaya lain kali you won't make an assumption and make an ass outta yourself. Amin,

      Delete
  19. kalau awk boleh bagi fuck dekat setiap list di atas, saya pun nak cakaplah kat awak, FUCK YOU

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yg baca emo emo tue mst buat benda yg sama. Relax laaa. Lagipun this blog mmg bahasa cmnie. Accept it or tak payah baca la. Settleee!

    ReplyDelete
  21. hi there,

    just found out ur blog..wow, lots of comments..i wanna join too..i deactivated my blog because i dont think off sharing my personal pictures..where i go what i ate..what so blablabla..macam share your life to the whole world..then i found fb..seems ok at the first point..but now full of i dont know how to sort it...haha..

    the point is here, i hv a fren that always share her life..at first i do comment, but now i left her alone..and i noticed not so many would like to comment.. hubby bz, going there, being famous, hubby is in the tv..hubby bought me a prada lv chanel gucci...hubby go repair my bmw merc mazda honda..my baby was great at nursery blablabla...lama2 jadi sickening...nk muntah rasanya..omg!!!then only going out with her bffs..hello ur bffs is our fren..why don u invite us too..hell yeah..

    dulu i selalu share update or whatso ever, but nowadays..MALAS!!..sometime update about my son so that my relatives can see him..haha


    ok chao, tq for ur time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahah I get you. I can tolerate kalau nak update about your life, but kalau setiap sejam nak update tadi berak taik keras ke, or 2 jam lepas makan steak 8kg apa kesss??

      Lagi satu that annoys me if riak dalam iman. Update pasal hari ni beli jubah RM800 sebab whatever, or collection tudung branded penuh satu bilik, dgn caption "i dun mind paying thousands of ringgit to appear muslimahh" like dudeeee, you're going against what the religion says!

      Delete


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