Tuesday, December 17, 2013

It hurts

I'm tired of having to answer questions/statements macam

"Tak kesian ke your parents when you move there?"
"Tak sedih ke your family?"
"So kau nak tinggalkan your family ke ni?"
"Sanggup kau nak berjauhan dari your friends and family ye?
"Kalau aku jadi kau, aku sanggup duduk berjauhan dengan husband, asalkan aku dekat dengan parents"

etc

First of all, I know you mean well, but tolong berhenti tanya soalan macam tu boleh?

YOU have NO IDEA how HARD it is for me.

I'M the one who has to make the ultimate sacrifice, I'M the one yang kena pindah, I'M the one yang have to move away.

I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO DECIDE.

Everything falls on MY shoulders, so just imagine how I would feel right now

Bila fikir nak berjauhan dengan my family, mak dan apak, every part of me is crushed. Remuk.
Bila fikir nak kena start my life from scratch, tak de kerja, tak de kawan, different cultures, I get so scared.
I don't know anyone else there, selain dari Don and his family. Aku cuma boleh berharapkan pertolongan diorg.
Aku tak de tempat nak lari malam malam kalau nak merajuk. Selalunya aku lari bawah ketiak mak, tapi kat sana aku nak lari bawah ketiak sapa pulak? Pak itam sebelah rumah? Haha..

I am scared shitless, tapi aku tabahkan hati jugak.
Because I want to be with my husband.
Aku nak jugak merasa bina family sendiri.
Aku nak merasa beli perabot rumah dengan suami sendiri.
Aku nak lepak kat balkoni, minum hot chocolate, sambil gossip dengan suami sendiri.

If I could stay here and be with my family forever, I would.
But I couldn't.
He couldn't.

Kalau dia pindah sini, dia nak kerja apa? Jadi mascot McDonald's?

Couple lain yang pindah dari Kelantan ke KL sebab ikut husband, tak de pulak kau nak judge dia kan?
Then sama jugak la kes aku ni; aku pindah sebab nak ikut husband.

So please stop making me feel like I'm a heartless bitch; tak de perasaan sebab sanggup tinggalkan my loved ones behind.

I'm so devastated beyond relief having to leave my family behind, but at the same time, I'm so excited to be with my husband.

I love both my family and my husband so much it hurts.

And this is my decision, and I know I'm making the right one. 









31 comments:

  1. Tak payah fikir panjang. Balik balik agama dah mmg tempat seorng isteri di sisi suami. Jauh mana suami pegi selagi isteri boleh ikut , sila lah ikut. Patuh n taat pada suami , mak bapak kite jugak yang dapat pahala .

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    Replies
    1. I mean bukan tak yah fikir langsung. Of cos la fikir coz syg parents but taat pade suami is the best. Take care!

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  2. wish u good luck and all the best kak~

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  3. makcik aku ade duduk kat nz kawin dengan org sana. So far family ok..balik juga jenguk family.. bukan tak balik.. erm ok je... its depends for individu n parent.

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  4. alia,

    i wish u all the best.u know what u doin. so, ignore the rest ok.

    have a happy married life ahead. =))

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  5. Tempat isteri di sisi somi. Rumahtangga kita, kita la yg jaga alia. Ppl cn say anything but u r the one who decides to be affected or not. Be strong k. Aku yg kawen org dekat pun, ada jugak masalah org kata itu ini. Bangang punya orang hahaha. Wish u all the best, n keep on updating us hehehe.

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  6. AIYO..BE STRONG ALIYA.. LANTAK PI DIORG TU.. ADA KE DAH KAWEN SANGGUP DUK NGN PARENTS INSTEAD OF HUSBAND.. APSAL KAWEN CAMTU..HUH

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  7. ehh..tercapital letter plak..sory tuan rumah..hehe..

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  8. siapa yg bodoh sgt tanya kau mcm tu?
    abaikan je ok.. macam la takleh balik mesia dah kalau dok sana...

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  9. Ttg ni others opinion doesnt matter melainkan parents ngn siblings ko ally. semoga berbahagia.

    make sure its worth it :)

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  10. Sape yg tanye camtu, beb? Meh sini aku tolong ko sikukan dia...

    Semua benda datang dan pergi. Even your parents, your kids... The only thing will last long in your life will only be your spouse...

    Takyah pikir bebanyak. Ko tetap je ngan keputusan ko. Afterall ko yg nak kene hadap ni semua, bukan dorang pun... Sebab kebanyakkan org tau cakap, tau judge je...

    Good luck, okeh?

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  11. Dear Alia,
    Abaikan apa org lain kata, sbb mereka tak rasa apa kita rasa...mereka lebih terasa nak nyusahkan kita. Alia dah dewasa, keputusan ni pun bukan dipertimbang sehari dua. Asal mak ayah restu..apa salahnya? Hidup kita, kita lah yang mencorakkannya. Tambah pulak nak kahwin, menda baik lagi elok...kenapa pulak nak disekat halang pulak kan...

    Mungkin dah tertulis, hidup Alia akan berkelana di tempat orang..jodohnya juga bukan org tempatan...yg itu, cuma Allah jua yang tau segalanya. Doa dan tawakal banyak2.. InsyaAllah segalanya akan dipermudahkan...

    Akak doakan semoga Alia berbahagia selalu hendaknya..semoga restu mak dan ayah Alia mengiringi dirimu dan suamimu sentiasa.. Amin..

    ~hugs~

    ♥,
    Akma Zaidi

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  12. alia, dont know you are married already.. congrats.. remember that by the end of the day it is ur life and u have to deal with watever comes ur way.. good luck babe

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  13. Ally, u've married already? I demand pengantin picturesss!

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  14. ally, like we discussed before this, derita kita, seksa kita, siapa yg tahu kan?

    gasak ar diaorg2 tu. nnt lepas ko dh move sana soalan2 lain plak kuar. endless.

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  15. my husband???

    omaigod, memula aku nangis sebab baca pasal hard decision making tuh. sampai tak perasan MY HUSBAND tuh! tahniah! hugs ketat2!

    *nangis sebab satu hari, mahu atau tidak, aku pon akan sarung kasut ko gak, soon ;'(

    take care alia. lebiu.

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  16. laah sapela plak yg tny xkesian fmly,pilih dok ngn fmly dr dok ngn husband tu??ayooo nama pn husband.better ikut husband dr fmly yg dh btaun kte together tu.syurga now dibwh husband kn?bek xyh kawin kalau niat xnak dok ngn husband,nk stay ngn fmly je.ayoyooo.hehe

    I feel u babe.i pindah sabah sorg2 from kl sbb ikut suami.for me this us fun.bina hidup baru,blajar bende baru..sabah n kl is totally diff.dats how we know what is what n how important things were.plus...berdikari.time ni la kte tau pengorbanan fmly kte selama ni.lgpn masa ni la nk knal suami lebih lg.fmly pn bole jln2 dtg kt tmpt kte.haa kn dh ade new travelling ideas for them?heee

    Dont worry much alia.i know u dh pk masak2.for me,its better u follow ur husband.fmly xkata ape,xyh terasa sgt org asing nk kata apa.have a great life ahead babe!

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  17. saya faham pengorbanan alia tu.sebab sy sendiri pun belum bersedia nak ikut suami pindah ke tempat dia..which is kedah only...now stay kt sabah,my hometown....alhamdulillahfor now kamistay asing dengan my parent....

    apa2pun..all the best utk Alia..u dah kawen ek???TAHNIAH!!!hugs33333333333333

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  18. Hi Alia,
    Welcome to my world ;-). It is difficult but I know you can do it cos I know you are a strong person. There will always be times when you feel so homesick and sad and lonely and miserable and pining for your family so much but there will always be happy, sunny, wonderful, gorgeous times as well :-). Good luck!

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  19. Like comment atas

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  20. husband????????

    Tahniah, Alia!!!!!!!!!
    wish your life wud be easier when your husband is next to you!

    ms. chak_ner

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  21. Wha~? You're married? When did that happen? LOL! Congrats, anyway.

    Apapun, jangan dengar cakap orang. Kalau stay Malaysia pun akan ada orang cakap juga kenapa awak tak pergi Amerika. You can't win with people.

    Stay strong! I got your virtually back! :)

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  22. Hi Alia,
    First of all...congrats babe!!! So happy for you!!. Secondly, regardless what people said, just remember 1 thing in your heart that Allah will always be there with you no matter where you are. It is hurt to be far away with family. Aku dok johor setaun lebih pon homesick gile2.. balik kl tetiap mggu kot..ni plak kat america. Anyway, just keep posted in your blog cause we (your reader) will keep supporting you...so you actially got friends la...ape la ko ni...sob2...bye...nk tgk gamba wedding tau nnti...

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  23. first I want to say congratulation.

    You are a brave girl.
    I know how hard it is to make decision for moving.

    one day I'll be on your shoes too.
    even just think about it make me scared.

    your story with don give me a lot courage to keep believe if LDR could be work.


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  24. Babe. Pedulikan kata orang. Dia cakap dia xkan ikut husband better duk ngn family????? Leh potong jari i kalau betul.

    If let say dia dah kawin and tetiba hubs kene pindah pg dubai or london or US sebab kerja she will be the 1st to jump on that opportunity lompat bintang happy sebab dpt duduk obersea. Kalau kata dia betul x pg pun can only tahan max 1yr. Lepas tu boleh ke? Ko ingat laki ko x Horny ke? Ko x horny ke?

    So dont give a shit with this stupid people with bloody stupid mindset. U have work soo hard to make the relationship works til today. Its time for u to have ur happy ending and make it ur own fairy tale ok.

    Walaupun awal2 family x paham ke ape ke. U kene percaya JODOH dan MATI di tangan Tuhan.

    Have faith babe.

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  25. Ignore the doubts, and it was a decision you made after putting a lot of thought into it with the support of your family and friends. Insyaallah you'll be doing what's best for your family. And congrats! :)

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  26. tahniah alia.. percaya kata hati awk, inshaAllah.. harap semuanya berjalan lancar. :)

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  27. Hi alia. Tahniah sbb dah kawen. Sronok kan kawen? Hee. Bertuahnye kau ramai kwn blogger yg bg komen-komen positif yg menenangkan hati. Betul sgt2 tempat isteri di sisi suami, aku anak bongsu sanggup pindah negeri ikut suami dgn usia yg sgt muda.

    Cuma aku sarankan dan nasihatkan be realistic bila dah sampai sana. Jgn terlalu bergantung kepada Don, kau mesti kena ada career path kat sana. At least if anythings happen kau dah strong financially. Kau boleh, Alia. Best of Luck!!!

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  28. Dear Alia.

    Congrats again and just ignore whatever those imbeciles talks about. Sure out of concerns but concerns mereka kenalah bertempat.

    You have work hard for the relationship to work (together with Don that is. ;))

    Whatever it is, you have made your decision. With the love and support from your family, inshaallah, everything will gonna be ok.

    Good luck and all the best, mate!Gambatte!~

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  29. Wish you all the best!!! Happy to hear that!! :)

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  30. oh my dear! apa khabar mu di sana??.. really miss your update. :)

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