Wednesday, July 31, 2013

I might be seeking professional help

Oh gosh, lama gila tak update blog.
Tetiba pulak hari ni terasa nak update.

Sebenarnya, banyak benda dah berlaku ke atas diri beta ini (chewaahh, masih lagi beranggapan diri sendiri berdarjat tinggi hahah)

Eh which got me thinking, kalau aku sukahati gelar diri sendiri "beta" dlm blog sendiri, nanti kena saman ke? Hahaha..mana tau, isu isu sentitip ni amat sensitip dengan isu sentitip

Anyways, the reason why I stopped writing was because banyak sangat benda berlaku sampai tak tau apa nak update dulu. Last last terus tak update. Hahahahah

Betul la.

Even sekarang pun aku tak der point nak tulis, padahal dah set dalam otak nak cerita pasal recent trip (which was not so recent dah).
Sebab bila start type dlm blog je, terus ...hilang.

During those hiatus months, satu blog pun aku tak jenguk.
Aku tak tau napa aku ada this ugly attitude...I mean bila tiba mood malas nak update blog, blog sendiri pun rasa disgusted nak bukak.

Seriously, masa tu la rasa mcm "ewwwwwwwww kenapa aku ada blog", "kenapa blog aku buruk sangat" "kenapa contents blog aku mcm sampah" kenapa kenapa kenapa

Terus aku tak bukak langsung.

Blog orang lain pun aku tak baca. Sebab aku rasa kenapa aku perlu baca life orang lain yang dah semestinya lagi best dari life aku.

Hahah....sebab bila aku baca how happy your marriage is, or how beautiful your wedding was, or how awesome your kid's birthday party was.....aku rasa mcm useless person.

Lagi sakit hati kalau baca orang tu pergi travel sana sini, makan steak 2 kg ke (haha!), celebrate your 4th anniversary with your know stuff that I don't get to do.

So aku rasa mcm kenapa aku nak dwell dgn perasan iri hati aku ni when I can just stop reading?

Hahahahahaha ye aku memang saikosis!

Then a couple of months later, baru kebosanan melanda.....and the makcik kepoh inside me is screaming .....I need my daily intake of gossips and I need to read about other people's lives!!


Alia is saikosis.

The End.
ahahah sebenarnya entry tak de point tapi sebab kemaruk nak type panjang panjang. hahaha


Monday, July 29, 2013

To Kathy

This has been a rough week for his family.
His aunt collapsed last Friday while she was packing her car to visit her daughter and grandchildren in Florida. She was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with double aneurysm in her brain and one of them had burst. It kept on bleeding and she couldn't make it...She passed away yesterday at 9:50am EST (10:50pm Malaysian time). She was only 54.

Aunt Kathy was one of the people whom I adore dearly, despite of only knowing her for a short while. I first met her during my first visit to America, when she visited to North Carolina from Florida after her husband died.

Even though I was a stranger in their home, she never made me feel like one. She made me feel like I was already part of the family. And the last time I saw her was last November 2012....I have never thought that would be the last....

I really feel so helpless because I never know the exact words what to say to their family, especially to his mom. Mom was so close to her sister, her best friend.

You don't know how many times I've picked up the phone trying to call her, but I always stopped when I was about to hit "dial". What would I say? What can I do? I'm literally half way across the world from them, and I can't hug them.

I've never been good with words, how am I going to console someone who's in grief? I'm afraid they'd be the one consoling me instead! haha...

But I know mom will be okay, she has all of her family members to support her (including me who's so far away!).

Rest In Peace Aunt Kathy.
Thank you for everything.

Btw, Don is doing okay. He kept on telling me that it's okay for me to cry, cause he heard me chocked up many times. Eh dia pulak yang nak console kita. Patutnya kita yang console dia! haha saikosis.