Captain of the Universe

I know I promised myself no more hate-related post...tapi hati ni dah membara-bara sakit. Kalau tak lepaskan nanti jadi bom nuklear...lagi hebat dari gunung berapi.

I think aku berasa amat fragile nowadays sebab I know I'm going home in a few days and I have to leave my only supporting pillar and I oso know I have to deal with orang-orang yang I don't really fancy. Kalau kat sini, aku tak perlu tengok manusia tu kan, being here is an escape for everything.

Life is actually a wonder over here. Lantak lah korang nak cakap aku lupa daratan ke apa, but the truth is, I FOUND my daratan (ai kan separa mat sallehh...hahaha!). I enjoy my life over here, maybe jugak lah sebab utama is because Don is here, and secondly, kat sini I don't have to deal with kiasu people (most of the time lah).

I read Fena's latest entry and I couldn't agree more. Kenapa orang-orang kita amat kiasu ha? I mean I know lah kiasu people's everywhere, even kat sini pon ada jugak. But selama aku kat sini, tak pernah lah jugak aku experience excessive selfishness.

Like for example, kau tengah beratur, and you got caught on a conversation yang sangat interesting sampai tak sedar line dah kedepan, you don't see people actually potong your queue. They'd either keep quite (and most probably mumble something like "move people, move") or tap on your shoulder and ask you to go forward.

Kalau kat Malaysia...wah, every chance they've got, terus nak menyelit.

Tak dernye nak berbudi bahasa.


According to my reliable source, white people would just let shit pass them. Like when you're in a cab, and the cab driver's taking you off course, most white people would just keep quiet or whispering to each other "I think he took the wrong turn...yes he took the wrong turn" and never tell the cab driver until too late.

He kept on saying that's a bad thing, but imho, aku lagi rela orang macam tu. Hahahah. Because they would generally appear as "nice".
In Fena's entry, masa dia tengah pilih barang, tetiba je ada tangan terselit and sebok pilih barang jugak. And when you look at that person, dia akan buat muka toya macam "why are you looking at me".

What the hell.

I'm not looking at you, I'm looking at YOUR STUPIDITY.

How RUDE!

I could understand lah her position masa tu, she even said she was taken aback, terkejut gila on her rudeness sampai tak terkata. I would too. But over the years, I've learned that these type of people cannot di biarkan.

I feel like if we don't say anything, they'd keep on doing that as if whatever that they're doing is right. So thats why I've changed myself...to be more vocal. What? Bukannya aku mencarut depan dia, I'd put it on my best manner as possible.

I would tell them nicely.

And most of them would be taken aback jugak. Like "what? did she just tell me to line up?". Seriously!

Most of the people yg aku tegur, they'd be so shocked sebab agaknya dia tak sangka ada orang tegur dia kot, and usually they'd say "sori sori" and line up kat belakang. Or some would just keep quiet and walk away sebab malu kot.

Tak pernah lah pulak tiba-tiba dia buat tantrum menjawab balik cakap "suka hati aku lah dogol".

IF lah aku dapat manusia yang menjawab balik...aduh, that's gonna be a hard one..sebab my words are faster than the speed of light...and my fist is faster oso.

Hahah...

Bayangkan makcik kurang ajar tu kena tumbuk sambil di maki.

Wah.

Mengganasssss.

Oklah, nak tidur. Makanan Mexican tadi membuatkan aku terjaga dari tidur utk memberak.

P/s: he used to do this when he was a kid. Haha. Logik tak bertempat.

p/ss: I'm sick and tired of kusut masai punya entries, balik balik cakap pasal aku tak suka itu lah ini. Baik aku tepek komik yang menggembirakan hati kan! Lagi bagus.

Sekian.

Kau ni macam budak-budaklah.

You don't need to cakap berkias-kias or bisik-bisik kat orang lain yang you don't like me. Say it to my face.

Though I'm younger than you but I KNOW I act more mature dari kau.

I'm not gonna tempeleng you or hate you just because kau tak suka aku. Suka hati kau lah nak suka siapa ke tak, kan? I respect your decision.

But how the fuck are you going to expect me to respect YOU AS A PERSON if you don't even have the decency to TELL ME that yourself?!

I know it's a bit too much lah kalau aku mintak tanya WHY, dah nak cakap "i don't like you" tu pon pengecut telor.

I'm not your family member, nor close friend, so buat apa kau nak segan-segan nak kasi tau? It's not like you're going to see me every goddamn day of your fucking life pon.

I enjoy talking to you pon sebab based from your writings, you seemed like an open person, you hardly ever hide your feelings, if you don't like something, you'd voice it out. Tapi kenapa bab macam ni you appear to be such a cowardly little pussy?

Aku bukan jenis manusia yang tutup telinga tanak dengar orang talk bad pasal aku, I actually want to know WHY diorg tak suka aku, so I can fix myself. I take constructive criticism as a fucking compliment.

Seriously, grow the fuck up lah.

------

One more thing, ada sorang ni, dalam blog dia, ada hati dia kasi komen pasal layout blog-blog orang lain. Siap cakap "I think you should tukar your blog template lah...pening aku baca.."

How much of a fucking hypocrite can you be?

Have you seen YOUR OWN fucking template?

WHITE FONT DON'T GO WELL WITH RED BACKGROUND. 

Dumb shit.

I don't care lah kau nak bragging pasal itu ini, cakap pasal itu ini, tapi kalau siap nak kasi nasihat kat orang pasal benda yang YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING, baik tak payah. Sila cermin sikit diri tu sendiri.

You make me sick. Your narcissicm, double standard and your addiction to ass-kissers are so pathetic.


--------

People can be too taksub with fame and glamor over a fucking blog. A FUCKING PERSONAL BLOG.

It's becoming such a sickening phenomenon di Asia Tenggara. That's whats funny about it, when you talk about "popular blogs" OUTSIDE of Malaysia/Singapore, you'd pointed to Gizmodo, TechCrunch, or Mashable. Heck even Perez Hilton.

See the similarities between OUR definition of 'popular blog' and theirs?


THERE ARE NONE.




 

It's my first time celebrating my birthday outside of Malaysia, and it's the second time I celebrated it with my very own monyet kesayangan.

Mom and I had an early birthday "surprise" celebration (though it wasn't really a surprise, sebab si monyet tu tak boleh keep a secret from me). She took me to Concord Mills and went shopping..without the monyet cause we know he's gonna bitch to go home if tags along.

Anyway! Since we couldn't find my awesomeness boots, I settled for these.....








Omg, these three things are super wangi I tell you. Tho I kinda regret that I should have picked the shower gel instead of Body lotion (cause I oredi got the body cream kan), but doesn't matter lah. It smells sooooooooooo goood. Like kalau pakai, I'm sure jantan-jantan lain boleh jatuh terpikat.

Kalah nasi kangkang.

hahah..

Ok ew, comparison yang keji.

Now I can skip showers and dab on body lotion and spray some mist!! LEPAS ITU SAYA AKAN BERBAU HARUM SEPANJANG MASA.

Haaaahaaa.


Oh wait, THERE'S MORE!!








Aww...and he made this moist chocolate cake for me.

HOW SWEET IS THAT!


Ok well, I can explain WHY the cake looks like that..haha..we both laughed when he finally finished the cake deco and the 'icing' melted!!

It wasn't really an icing, it was cookies topping, sebab tu it's so soft and wouldn't harden.

Also, the candles are so cheap, they melted in 1 minute. Hahahah..

It was soooo fricking hilarious!!!

He was like "Hurry! HURRY! The cake's melting! Take a picture now!"

Kelam kabut okkk.





It was a cold rainy day today. Adakah itu bermaksud aku seorang yang cold hearted?? Eh, macam nature cuba kasitau aku suruh jadi "sunny dan ceria selalu" pulak...haha.


Don and I were supposed to bake cinnamon buns tonight together gether (he was gonna teach me, almaklumlah, saya ni kan ratu terkangkang, nak masak, baking ke tolak tepi), tapi sesi shopping sakan petang tadi wore us off.

Tomorrow we're going to makan dinner with Anna di Mexican restaurant yang aku suka!

Soka! Soka!

The next day we're going to apa tah nama kedai tu sebab Melody nak belikan kasut.

Wah, am I a celebrity or whatt??? Semua orang nak bersantai bersama selebriti.

Nak otograph?? Can can...hahahahahhaha



Oleh disebabkan ini adalah entry birthday saya, so I'm allowed to be jiwang, dan jikalau anda tak suka....padan muka kah kah kah!




Thank you for the cake, the thoughts, the movie, the jalan-jalan, the pumpkin experience, the perfect day..I LOVE YOU LAH BUSUK.

I admit that I'm not a very friendly person, tho I can be quite chatty at times, tapi tengok masa lah jugak. I usually don't approach people, cuma yang sedihnya, if I don't approach, memang tak der orang nak approach aku dulu. Sebab aku mengeluarkan aura-aura sombong kot. Haha

Or maybe they're thinking "holy shit, it's Alia, she's like the greatest person EVER. She's so electrifying! My legs are frozen out of amazement."

Hahahahahaha

So anyway, I know this sounds so 'wtf', but I seriously don't know how to be "friendly" online. Gila tak? Online lah paling senang nak bikin member. I don't know how to sapa-menyapa people when they're online and I admit, I don't bother to tanya khabar. Haha. gila sombong.

I mean don't get me wrong lah, if you message me, I'll reply lah, tak der lah aku nak menyombong cakap "what the hell do you want" kan. Tu sumpah nak kena baling batu kat muka. But I don't know how to flourish my online acquaintances status. I'm not the type yang suka jaga tepi kain orang, hari hari tanya hari ni makan apa, buat apa, pergi mana.

Sebab tu jugaklah I don't go around and terjah blog-blog orang selain daripada those blogs yang I'm familiar with.

Maybe jugak aku menyampah baca blog-blog yang suka kutuk mengutuk, penuh dengan hasutan dan pilih kasih, blog cium bontot, rivalry sana sini, blog siapa paling famous, blog puji diri sendiri sebab ramai pengikut, blog menunjuk-nunjuk secara excessive, blog perasan bagus.

Wah, banyak sebenarnya jenis-jenis blog ni.

I miss the old blogging days di mana blog is just a blog. An online diary where you jot your thoughts down. It's not about competition, it's not about followers, fame nor money. And it's definitely not about putting your fellow comrades down.

I'm a blogger veteran, tho it's a self-proclaim title, but I've been blogging since 2002 and there wasn't even a 'blogosphere'!

I mean people/strangers didn't even read your blog, so anonymous fuckers tak wujud lah. And even if they did, they usually just shrugged it off "oh, it's just an online journal".

But now, it's like a competition, saya beli barang ni harga 3000 ribu, awak mampu? kinda deal.

Now it's about aku banyak followers serta comments, anda ada berapa? saya sangatlah femes, awak jeles? Sila tengok daily hits saya, beribu raban.

Now it's about dengki sesama blogmates, tulis entries khas untuk si polan, digging through their archives, kutuk sana sini.

Oh please.

The innocence of plain ol blogging has been tainted.

Nowadays, blogging world penuh dengan drama.

Oh wait, it's written by women.

Women LOVES drama.
(statement penuh ikhlas)

I mean I seriously don't give a fuck lah kalau diorg nak tulis pasal kehidupan seharian (cause that's what I write and draw about basically), tapi kalau dah sesi kutuk mengutuk, jealous sana sini apahal?


Blogosphere has turned into another spanish soap opera. As if you're spitting shit outta your ass.

I picked, bought and carved my own little pumpkin yesterday!!

Ok, tipulah part yang beli tu, cause mom bought it for us, harga 4 dollars each. Haha..siap ingat harga ok.

Well, we were supposed to buy those pumpkins kat this one plantation ke apa jadah, tapi tutup pulak hari Ahad. So we had to go to Walmart..tho it's cheaper, but you can't get many choices lah. Tinggal yang buruk buruk, kecik dan busuk.

And saya juga learned something new while di Walmart, I saw a gigantic gourd! Haha..sebesar pumpkin! Selalunya gourd yang aku nampak kecik cenonet, ni besar gilaaaa. Terus macam teruja. Dah lah bentuk lawa-lawa..haha...

Anyway, we got back and started carving!! Anna and her bf came too.

Sorrylah there are not many pictures cause I was busy cleaning the pumpkin guts out.

I didn't take Anna's sebab tak sempat. I was so busy cleaning and shaving the goddamn pumkin. Carving is EASY, but SHAVING ISN'T!!!

Penat!!!

So after like 30 mins or something, I passed the deeds to Don. Hahah...tangan aku lenguh ok. Dah lah mengantuk, nak terkench, terberak semua ada. Ha. (ok, itu adalah alasan semata-mata sebab aku cuma nak suruh Don habiskan je. Haha)


Hey, it was fun at first, tapi lama-lama jadi tedious. Especially ours, sebab our pumpkin required shaving.







Setelah beberapa jam (seriously, it took us like 3 hours to finish this goddamn pumpkin!!), and this proud owner of the pumpkin (dimana hard worknya di buat oleh monyet kesayangan) presents..............







hahahahah!!!!

We've decided to take a different approach than plain ol' Jack o Lantern, and he came out with this!!


Clever huh!!??


Credits to Don of course. Sebab aku memang duduk mengomel je. haha..


Anyhow, remember the seeds and the guts from the pumpkins? Yeah. Melody took them and baked them!


Boleh?

Yay!!

It was a very fun day for me!

Ok, I have another entry pending, sebab kalau tak buat, sampai bila bila lah takkan terbuat. Unless kalau korang nak buatkan???! (eh, apakah tetiba...)

ok. bai!

I just watched cerita err, apa nama movie tu, tak femes, sebab aku tak pernah dengar pon sebelum ni (chey, tak femes sebab aku tak pernah dgr...who do you think you are lah Alia, Perez Hilton ka? - Eh bab gemok tu padan lah...haha, ok ok).

Jap, nak imdb kejap...oh yea, I Could Never Be Your Woman.

And throughout the whole movie, I realized that I've always been attracted to dorky guys yang comel. Haha...ok, macam lah aku ni lawa sangat kan, nak yang hensem hensem je. But itu kan lumrah hidup, mata mesti sedap memandang...hati busuk tu nanti cerita.

Hahah...saiko.

But betul lah, before this, aku selalu ingat my ciri-ciri lelaki idaman adalah macam Jason Statham...ganas, botak dan bulky.




Masa muda mudi dulu tak kira lah, sebab dulu aku minat kat lelaki yang bermata biru dan berambut blonde..haha..gay sungguh.

Then dah besar sikit, baru lah rasa "wtf" then terus tukar ciri ciri lelaki idaman....terus jadi botak nokk. Haha

Tak botak pon, ala-ala tua sikit...macam pakcik bawah ni, George Clooney.






So anyway, I've always thought my taste in men sudah matured...from blonde haired to gray haired, blue eyed to...cataract eyed? Hahahah...

Rupa-rupanya, I was in denial. I'm a dork lover. Have always been.

Personally, I think dorky guys ni are so cute. Their attitude mostly.

Though aku tak banyak experience dengan lelaki type macam ni (actually, Don's the only one), but I'm still gonna give a few points di mana I think telah memikat hati kalbu (haha!! waddehel! jijik weh!)



First
His sense of humor. His humor may sometimes be dark and satire humor, but they still can make me menangis sebab kelakar. I dunno lah how to explain, but I think his jokes are sooo adorable. Macam dalam comic/kartun dalam tv.

Oh yeah, semua kartun strip aku tu, based on true events. So aemua bubbles yang keluar from his character, came from his mouth. Aku cuma tulis balik je. And lately, most of the jalan cerita tu, dia yang fikir. Aku cuma lukis.

I told him "why don't YOU make a comic too?? Nanti boleh jadi femes, lepas tu boleh berjoli sakan"

Hahah...oklah, I didn't actually say the last line..

But dia ni kan pakcik degil...


Second
He's an asshole.

Haha..ok bunyi macam kurang ajar, but don't get me wrong lah, he's full of respect. Tak der lah dia tiba tiba nak tengking makcik tua jual ikan..(motif jual ikan??).

I suppose I could call it witty, instead of asshole-like.

Wits overrule everything else.

If you've got no wit, you're just plain boring lah.

Kalau perang mulut dengan dia, memang akan kalah. Sebab his comebacks are either will make you loss of words, or loss of words.

He will also confront you if dia tak puas hati. Dia bukan jenis yang cakap belakang, baling batu sorok tangan. Dia tak baling batu, dia akan toreh muka orang dengan batu tu.

I guess I like it rough. Tak der lah macam mashed potatoes...lembik mushy lebih lebih...oh speaking of mushy..



Third
He CAN be mushy. Tapi tak der lah overload. Geli geleman pulak bila lelaki menggedik. Nak pelempang?

He's a romantic guy, but not hopeless romantic.

If he loves someone, he will love her with all his heart. He makes me feel like a queen everyday. Hahaha...anda berasa jijik?

He will buat something incredibly romantik and cute, tak kisah lah how small it is (eg: This). It doesn't take diamonds and gold to make someone happy you know..a small gesture will do.


Fourth
He can cook!

And he doesn't expect me to cook!!!!!

That's a BIG bonus!! Hahaha...sebab aku tak pandai masak. Hahaha

No seriously, it is such a relief knowing that he doesn't mind me not knowing how to cook. He loves being in the kitchen anyway.

Dulu selalunya orang-orang tua pesan, belajar masak, nanti macam mana nak kawen kalau tak tau masak. Eh, kalau tak tau masak tak boleh kawen ke?

Ye lah, dulu kan orang lelaki memang tak masak. Harapkan isteri je nak masak. Ok, maybe ada jugak lelaki zaman sekarang yang expect isteri dia je yang masakkan untuk dia. Alasan dia "because he pays the bills". Oh excuse me, aku pon kerja, aku pon bayar bil, kenapa aku perlu masak hari hari?

Eh, tetiba teremo kejap.

Jangan lah orthodox sangat.


Fifth
He plays video games rather than sports.

I guess that's just me. Cause aku kan gemok, mana suka aktiviti luar. I'd rather spend my days dalam rumah jadi hermit, and I'm so glad I have a partner that enjoys the same thing.

And the most stereotypical thing over here is, if you play sports, you must be a jock. And jocks hang out with other jocks. And jocks are usually rude bastards.

And I've always hated jocks. Ever since high school. Apa kau ingat your fame masa high school will make people succumb to you? Sori, sila cium kaki aku.

Well like I said, that's just me, ada sesetengah orang kipas bontot lelaki jocks ni.

Different people different taste lah.



Sixth
He can be a bad boy too....despite his innocence.

I know that most perempuan suka lelaki jahat...macam wah, did he just break the rules?? Wah..machonya...

But I also know for a fact that none of us women would want to marry a bad boy. Sebab jahat sangat..haha..nanti di madukan. Takut tiba-tiba je dia cakap "sorry babe, I've got another bimbo, see you later".

Kurang ajar betul. Haha!

So in his case, dia ni pon kejam jugak, on certain times, but his kekejaman tu tak der lah sampai tahap nak bunuh orang ke apa. He still has his sanity ;)



Seventh
He's very faithful. Tak de nak menggedik gedik dengan perempuan lain. Never cheated before, despite the distance we had.

A guy whose girlfriend is out of town for 7 years, tak der spare part? Bunyi macam skeptical gila, but trust me, he deserves some thumbs up on this!



Eighth
I know he's not gonna agree with me here, but he's very shy. And I think that's just sooooo adorable! Rasa macam nak kunyah-kunyah (haha wtf??).

I think it's even more adorable for the fact yang he won't admit it. Haha.



Nineth
Because of his shyness, that makes him such an exceptional gentleman. I know it has got to do with his he was raised, but I personally think it's because shy people tend to observe more and talk less.

Cair bila dengar dia communicate dengan strangers, "yes ma'am", "after you sir".




Eh, my whole points revolve around him saja. Tadi bukak topik pasal dorky boys, tiba tiba melalut pasal Don. Hahah..keji sungguh.

But he's the epitome of dorky guys yang sungguh comel lah.

Dan jikalau anda termuntah ke, terjijik ke, semasa membaca entry ini...haha, padan muka, sapa suruh baca.

Hahaha....

I fucked up my sleeping schedule again, now I'm awake time malam and tidur masa siang. Dah lah angan-angan nak keluar menjadi debu sahajaaa (debu, wtf?) .

It's so dry here during winter time, hidung aku boleh berdarah lagi. Bangun tidur je, mesti hidung rasa terbakar (nose burn). Time dulu, zaman jijik, boleh je aku suck on my jari and then jolok dalam hidung (hahaha what the fuck, gila tak senonoh!), but now agaknya dah besar sikit kot..haha, so rasa macam wah, jijik sungguh.

Bukan aku sorang je yang tak tahan dry weather ni, Don pon sama. Dia lagi lah teruk, sebab sinus kan. Setelah aku complain banyak kali, baru lah dia keluarkan humidifier. Kasi berwap sikit rumah ni.

Kalau tak cukup wap lagi, aku boleh tolong....tolong kentut. Guarantee penuh wap.

Hahah...

Gila tak senonoh betul perempuan ni.

Speaking of kentut, I think Don and I are too comfy with each other, we can kentut and burp in front of each other tanpa segan silu. Siap boleh lawan kentut lagi, sapa kentut paling banyak menang. Or sapa dapat kentut depan muka orang tu, dia menang.

Haha...

Saiko tak??!

Anyway, hari tu (more like minggu lalu), we were invited to Wayne/Melody's, diorang buat goreng ikan yang diorg tangkap. Woh, aku ingat ada lah 10 ekor ke apa..rupa rupa macam ada dalam lebih kurang 40 ekor! Banyak gilaaaa.

Ntah nama ikan apa, tak ingat lah.

Sambil tu diorg ada main cards jugak, but Don and I were just there untuk makan lah kan. Tak kuasa aku nak main card lagi.

I just had to post this, gila kelakarrrrrrrrrr.

I'd def be freaked out kalau aku kat sana.

Oh on another note, you all mesti dah tau about etsy.com kan? Anyway, I found a mockery site of esty yang amat kelakar dan witty, called Regretsy

They took products yang ridiculously wtf yang di jual di etsy and posted on their website. Kelakar ok!! I mean masa tengah browsing esty pon aku ternampak barang yang macam ntah apa-apa.

Yay for regretsy!

Eh, walaupon raya dah habis, tapi salah ke aku feeling raya lagi haaa?

Though I didn't celebrate raya this year, but last year celebrate apaaaaa, so nah, sila tatapi gambar raya expired.

Haha..boleh ke macam tu?

No lah, sebenarnya aku jumpa gambar-gambar ni dalam flash drive. Dah nama pon blog kan, diary online, so apa lagi...tepekkkkk.

Oh yak, benci aku tengok gambar ni. Gemok gilosss. Chey, macam lah aku skrang ni kurus kan. Haha...

But memang benci gila rambut tuuu, tak soka! Tak soka!

Eh I just noticed lah, sebenarnya ketinggian aku takat his shoulder je, tapi apasal gambar ni aku melepasi bahu dia?? Ngok betul, mesti dia bengkokkan kaki dia!



But I remember masa Don nak pakai sampin, sampai mak, apak, pakcik, adik dan kazen kena tolong Don pakaikan sampin dia..hahah...sori lah, ai memang tak gheti nak pakai sampin.

What? Saya tak bersuami lagi, manalah reti kan! Selalunya yang pandai pakaikan sampin ni, semua yang dah kawen!

Macam lah perempuan yg pandai pakaikan bowtie kan! Unless lah kalau dia tu stripper...(apa kena mengena?? haha)

But dah lah dia first time pakai sampin, kalau aku, pakai sejam, pastu bukak, dah tak sanggup beb, asyik nak kena betulkan je. Tapi si mat ni, semangat tegar betul, tak bukak-bukak sampai habis event. Haha, nasib baik ada my male cousins tolong betul kan everytime, kalau tak dah senget menyenget sampin dia.




That's what I think photography should be about, bukan tangkap gambar kaku macam model dalam buku.

Semua orang boleh tangkap gambar benda still kan, but it takes talent to tangkap moments. Like when the groom's looking at the (unnoticed) bride lovingly. Or when the bride and the groom look at each other from across the crowded room.

Kan bagus.

It's those moments yang precious, bukan gambar sirih junjung yang you know won't go anywhere. Sure lah it's all pretty and shit, but if I were to hire orang tangkap gambar ni, aku nak dia tangkap gambar waktu waktu precious macam tu.

Ok nak lukis. Bai